Prompt fill 1/?
anonymous
January 25 2011, 13:16:25 UTC
LOL, I effing love that comic! This little fill is not exactly an original, but inspired by above. Slightly cracky but life needs more crack. Hope you like it, OP. It's all I have.
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If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Someone once said to her that she couldn’t possibly be normal, because she liked girly things and dead bodies. She had wondered if something was wrong with her when she couldn’t find anything wrong with liking girly things and dead bodies.
It wasn’t as if the two things were mutually exclusive - or were they? And it wasn’t as if she got off on dead bodies or fluffy pink things. Because that would be weird. Especially getting off on fluffy pink things.
But in the interest of fitting in, she cleverly disguised one with the other, telling people that she surrounded herself with bright and shiny things to compensate for the dark and cold things she faced at work every day.
Some days she wondered if that wasn’t so much a lie as a half-truth.
However, most days, an unexpected finding at an autopsy generated the same amount of delight as finding an adorable lilac unicorn at one of those knick-knack shops.
She couldn’t help it if her default setting was bubbly and optimistic with a touch of the self-deprecating and macabre.
As much as she couldn’t resist hugging soft and cuddly stuffed animals in shops, she couldn’t help wondering what people looked like naked and dead.
It was just a clinical, abstract, scientific thought. It came with the job, a professional hazard, if you will.
It wasn’t as if she fantasized about killing people, just about how they’d look like on the table, under those harsh lights.
Being able to look at - and inside - people without them looking back at her - or worse, interacting with her - it sometimes made her wish that living people would be as uncomplicated.
Not that corpses were uncomplicated. Though most were. Blood and guts and bits, all in perfect order, just like the diagram said it would be.
But some hid delightful surprises, like human Kinder Eggs. She loved those - a little assembly required, a little ingenuity. She never really liked the chocolate, though.
Oh, perhaps she was a little creepy. Who wondered what people looked like dead for scientific reasons - or morbid curiosity? She was normal enough to know that it was better to keep those thoughts to herself.
The one time she hadn’t kept them to herself - a night out with the girls and one gin and tonic too many - they looked at her with disgust and she had to quickly change the subject by mentioning the bloody hedge. That was the only time she voluntarily invoved the topic of the hedge.
So, hearing the words come out of her mouth was a real shock to her. She’d been so careful. And she thought that after the whole ‘Jim’ disaster, she’d be better at keeping her mouth shut.
Re: Prompt fill 2/?
anonymous
January 25 2011, 13:22:11 UTC
But no, it had slipped out and echoed along the cold walls of the morgue.
It was his fault. Well, it wasn’t, really. He couldn’t be blamed for being so attractive - in an odd sort of way.
To his credit, he didn’t react in the manner she expected anyone normal would. But then again, he wasn’t normal, either.
Their children wouldn’t have a chance at a well-adjusted adulthood without daily visits to a therapist.
And why was she thinking of mutual children, when her statement earlier guaranteed any future interaction would now be terminated?
He stilled in his action of examining the body and turned to look at her. Blinked, once, twice. How could something so ordinary be so sexy?
There was surprise on his face - that one was expected. She was surprised and the words had come out of her mouth.
“I would make a beautiful corpse?” he said and there…there it was! The unexpected.
He was smiling. Well, not so much as smiling but there was clearly amusement on his face. Surprise and amusement. Not surprise and disgust - or bewilderment, at least.
No, surprise and amusement. Or maybe bemusement, she wasn’t exactly sure.
But definitely no disgust.
But despite the lack of disgust, one simply did not say these things to other people.
She opened her mouth and tried, really tried, to say something to undo the damage. Anything. But most of her brain was still in shock, so all that came out was “You would.”
She would have died quite happily in that moment, just to get out of this. But it was too cold for spontaneous human combustion and she doubted that there was any god merciful enough to execute an act upon her.
She could just walk away and move to another country, even going to the lengths of assuming a new identity. Grow a beard or something.
Or she could just kill him and plead temporary insanity due to severe embarrassment. She could shove the dead body - it was well over 300 pounds - on top of him and suffocate him with it. She could maybe even get away with making it look like an accident.
The part of her brain that was in charge of fight or flight was quickly going through all her options, when finally the rational bit of her brain unfroze from the shock.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what…I…sometimes…just, well…eep?” she stammered.
Re: Prompt fill 3/?
anonymous
January 25 2011, 13:30:46 UTC
She probably should just run. But his stare kept her there.
He tilted his head and studied her. She licked her lips involuntarily. He smiled.
He actually smiled. And it was one of those full-on, wrinkles in the corner of the eyes smiles, too! She’d seen enough of Lie to Me to know that it was an indicator of a genuine smile. She also read enough about sociopaths to question everything now.
She felt like a deer caught in the headlights, except deer couldn’t possibly have these many conflicting thoughts in their head. They just didn't have the IQ or the lack of social skills.
“I’m done here,” he said, zipping up the body bag. The metal sound seemed obscenely loud in the quiet.
“Okay,” she managed to breathe. ‘Don’t say anything else, Molly, just let him walk out. Just keep your mouth shut, girl, and maybe find a new hospital to work in. Somewhere in the South Pacific.'
He adjusted his scarf and walked around the table so he stood in front of her. She wanted to look away, but he was just too compelling.
“I’ll notify the yard of my findings,” he said and all Molly managed was “Uh-hm”.
‘Good, Molly, just keep it neutral, just sounds, no words, we might get through this,’ the sensible voice in her head said. ‘That scarf looks really soft, I bet it’s cashmere,’ the fluff obsessed bit chimed in. And then a little voice, at the back of her head, whispered ‘Go on, touch it. You know you want to.’
The sensible one said, ‘Be quiet, you’ve been enough trouble already!’ and the fluff obsessed whined, ‘But it’s so cozy looking’ and the little troublemaker persuaded ‘You’ve already made a mess of things, why not take advantage?’
Sensible one hissed in shock ‘You cannot kiss him!’ and the tiny voice chuckled amusedly ‘Who said anything about kissing him?’ Fluffy merely erupted into excited giggles.
Re: Prompt fill 4/4
anonymous
January 25 2011, 13:32:57 UTC
“I beg your pardon?” Molly asked, as the voices in her head fell silent from surprise.
“You eat, don’t you?” he asked, looking rather unsure of himself. It was so endearing she almost wanted to hate him for it.
“Yes?” she replied, while Fluffy in her head was erupting into fits of 'Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!’ and Sensible was desperately trying to keep control over things. Little voice grinned smugly.
“Your shift’s almost over.”
That was true, so she said, “Yes.”
“How do you feel about Italian?” That smile again, that persuasive devil’s smile.
“I took French in school,” she replied. Little voice face-palmed itself. Sensible just shook its head ‘There’s no hope.’
Sherlock laughed.
And Fluffy? Well, Fluffy almost overdosed on giddy that night.
Re: Prompt fill 4/4ditsypersephoneAugust 9 2011, 18:36:49 UTC
Hi! Prompt filler here! I've been meaning to reply to you for ages but life just got away from me.
I want to thank you for the prompt and allowing me to write something cracky! I've finally created a separate lj profile to archive the fills I've posted and I have to say this one just brings back really good memories!
This little fill is not exactly an original, but inspired by above. Slightly cracky but life needs more crack.
Hope you like it, OP. It's all I have.
___
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Someone once said to her that she couldn’t possibly be normal, because she liked girly things and dead bodies. She had wondered if something was wrong with her when she couldn’t find anything wrong with liking girly things and dead bodies.
It wasn’t as if the two things were mutually exclusive - or were they? And it wasn’t as if she got off on dead bodies or fluffy pink things. Because that would be weird. Especially getting off on fluffy pink things.
But in the interest of fitting in, she cleverly disguised one with the other, telling people that she surrounded herself with bright and shiny things to compensate for the dark and cold things she faced at work every day.
Some days she wondered if that wasn’t so much a lie as a half-truth.
However, most days, an unexpected finding at an autopsy generated the same amount of delight as finding an adorable lilac unicorn at one of those knick-knack shops.
She couldn’t help it if her default setting was bubbly and optimistic with a touch of the self-deprecating and macabre.
As much as she couldn’t resist hugging soft and cuddly stuffed animals in shops, she couldn’t help wondering what people looked like naked and dead.
It was just a clinical, abstract, scientific thought. It came with the job, a professional hazard, if you will.
It wasn’t as if she fantasized about killing people, just about how they’d look like on the table, under those harsh lights.
Being able to look at - and inside - people without them looking back at her - or worse, interacting with her - it sometimes made her wish that living people would be as uncomplicated.
Not that corpses were uncomplicated. Though most were. Blood and guts and bits, all in perfect order, just like the diagram said it would be.
But some hid delightful surprises, like human Kinder Eggs. She loved those - a little assembly required, a little ingenuity. She never really liked the chocolate, though.
Oh, perhaps she was a little creepy. Who wondered what people looked like dead for scientific reasons - or morbid curiosity? She was normal enough to know that it was better to keep those thoughts to herself.
The one time she hadn’t kept them to herself - a night out with the girls and one gin and tonic too many - they looked at her with disgust and she had to quickly change the subject by mentioning the bloody hedge. That was the only time she voluntarily invoved the topic of the hedge.
So, hearing the words come out of her mouth was a real shock to her. She’d been so careful. And she thought that after the whole ‘Jim’ disaster, she’d be better at keeping her mouth shut.
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It was his fault. Well, it wasn’t, really. He couldn’t be blamed for being so attractive - in an odd sort of way.
To his credit, he didn’t react in the manner she expected anyone normal would. But then again, he wasn’t normal, either.
Their children wouldn’t have a chance at a well-adjusted adulthood without daily visits to a therapist.
And why was she thinking of mutual children, when her statement earlier guaranteed any future interaction would now be terminated?
He stilled in his action of examining the body and turned to look at her. Blinked, once, twice. How could something so ordinary be so sexy?
There was surprise on his face - that one was expected. She was surprised and the words had come out of her mouth.
“I would make a beautiful corpse?” he said and there…there it was! The unexpected.
He was smiling. Well, not so much as smiling but there was clearly amusement on his face. Surprise and amusement. Not surprise and disgust - or bewilderment, at least.
No, surprise and amusement. Or maybe bemusement, she wasn’t exactly sure.
But definitely no disgust.
But despite the lack of disgust, one simply did not say these things to other people.
She opened her mouth and tried, really tried, to say something to undo the damage. Anything. But most of her brain was still in shock, so all that came out was “You would.”
She would have died quite happily in that moment, just to get out of this. But it was too cold for spontaneous human combustion and she doubted that there was any god merciful enough to execute an act upon her.
She could just walk away and move to another country, even going to the lengths of assuming a new identity. Grow a beard or something.
Or she could just kill him and plead temporary insanity due to severe embarrassment. She could shove the dead body - it was well over 300 pounds - on top of him and suffocate him with it. She could maybe even get away with making it look like an accident.
The part of her brain that was in charge of fight or flight was quickly going through all her options, when finally the rational bit of her brain unfroze from the shock.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what…I…sometimes…just, well…eep?” she stammered.
Reply
He tilted his head and studied her. She licked her lips involuntarily. He smiled.
He actually smiled. And it was one of those full-on, wrinkles in the corner of the eyes smiles, too! She’d seen enough of Lie to Me to know that it was an indicator of a genuine smile. She also read enough about sociopaths to question everything now.
She felt like a deer caught in the headlights, except deer couldn’t possibly have these many conflicting thoughts in their head. They just didn't have the IQ or the lack of social skills.
“I’m done here,” he said, zipping up the body bag. The metal sound seemed obscenely loud in the quiet.
“Okay,” she managed to breathe. ‘Don’t say anything else, Molly, just let him walk out. Just keep your mouth shut, girl, and maybe find a new hospital to work in. Somewhere in the South Pacific.'
He adjusted his scarf and walked around the table so he stood in front of her. She wanted to look away, but he was just too compelling.
“I’ll notify the yard of my findings,” he said and all Molly managed was “Uh-hm”.
‘Good, Molly, just keep it neutral, just sounds, no words, we might get through this,’ the sensible voice in her head said. ‘That scarf looks really soft, I bet it’s cashmere,’ the fluff obsessed bit chimed in. And then a little voice, at the back of her head, whispered ‘Go on, touch it. You know you want to.’
The sensible one said, ‘Be quiet, you’ve been enough trouble already!’ and the fluff obsessed whined, ‘But it’s so cozy looking’ and the little troublemaker persuaded ‘You’ve already made a mess of things, why not take advantage?’
Sensible one hissed in shock ‘You cannot kiss him!’ and the tiny voice chuckled amusedly ‘Who said anything about kissing him?’ Fluffy merely erupted into excited giggles.
And Sherlock said, “You look hungry.”
Reply
“You eat, don’t you?” he asked, looking rather unsure of himself. It was so endearing she almost wanted to hate him for it.
“Yes?” she replied, while Fluffy in her head was erupting into fits of 'Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!’ and Sensible was desperately trying to keep control over things. Little voice grinned smugly.
“Your shift’s almost over.”
That was true, so she said, “Yes.”
“How do you feel about Italian?” That smile again, that persuasive devil’s smile.
“I took French in school,” she replied. Little voice face-palmed itself. Sensible just shook its head ‘There’s no hope.’
Sherlock laughed.
And Fluffy? Well, Fluffy almost overdosed on giddy that night.
The End
I regret nothing!
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Don't ever regret wonderful things!
XD
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I want to thank you for the prompt and allowing me to write something cracky!
I've finally created a separate lj profile to archive the fills I've posted and I have to say this one just brings back really good memories!
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(I think I ship it now?)
By which I mean: ANON YOU ARE AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU. <3
XD
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♥
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