Prompting Part XXXI
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GUIDELINES
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"Oh, I don't know," John says mildly. He's the one who stopped the lover, tackling the man to the ground before he could make a run for it, and he has the mud smeared down the front of his jumper to prove it. He scratches idly at the drying stain and adds, "I'd do just about anything for the man I love, too."
Sherlock is prepared to retort with a cutting remark when his brain screeches to a stop. Slowly, he processes John’s words a second time. He then turns to stare at John, who is gazing back with one of those quietly affectionate smiles he seems to reserve for Sherlock alone. "You're in love..." Sherlock says. "With a man?"
"Yes, that's what I said. Thought you hated repetition?" John grins cheekily and nudges Sherlock with his elbow.
"I," Sherlock begins and then trails off because he genuinely has no idea how to finish that sentence.
Seemingly pleased by the fact that he's rendered Sherlock even somewhat speechless, John grins even more broadly. "I'm not gay," he says, "but I did experiment a little in uni. I always thought I'd eventually settle down with a girl but I'm telling you, this bloke... he's really something else."
There's a dreamy quality to John's voice that Sherlock is not comfortable with. His stomach is churning and he feels a little sick. He wants to make some sort of remark that will stop John because he really doesn't want to hear about this, but it appears that his throat has closed up and the words don't want to come out. If John notices that he's upset, he ignores it because he starts describing this man in detail. At first Sherlock tries not to pay attention but gradually he can't help listening.
"He's very intelligent," John is saying, staring off into the distance. "The smartest bloke I've ever met, honestly. Sometimes I have to wonder what it was like when he was growing up. Being so far above everyone else must be hard. He deals with it by shutting down and pretending nothing bothers him but I can see inside and I know what it means. I know what he's like." He finally turns to Sherlock and smiles shyly. "And I think that he knows me better than anyone else, too. He can look at me and know exactly what I'm thinking without my having to say it. When we first met I found it a bit weird but now I find it comforting."
There's a dull roaring in Sherlock's ears and his heart is suddenly pounding so hard he feels breathless. He doesn't dare hope that John could be talking about him but the facts support the theory: no one knows John Watson like he does. Could it be? Is John actually in love with him? He swallows hard and stares intently at John, hoping for more data that will let him know whether his theory is correct. John doesn't fidget or squirm under the intensity of the gaze, he never does, he just accepts it.
He says, "This man can be funny too, though no one else appreciates his sense of humour like I do. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not." He smirks a little. "He's a clever sod and he knows it, though. And to top it all off he's breathtakingly beautiful, too. Sometimes I can't believe that he doesn't use it to his advantage more. He's the most - Sherlock? Hey, where are you going?"
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It's a cruel thing, to have your hopes dashed out from underneath you, and it stings. He ignores Lestrade calling his name and keeps walking back up the path until he makes it back to the main road. John doesn't chase after him and Sherlock isn't surprised. If John was trying to let him down gently, well, Sherlock's not sure he appreciates the effort, not when it hurts this much. It takes effort to not try to imagine the beautiful man that John was describing, who John is apparently so close to but who Sherlock doesn't even know. Who is it? One of his old army buddies? A new colleague at the locum? The possibilities are endless.
A cab finally pulls up and Sherlock gets in. He feels nauseous as it pulls into traffic. Never in his life has Sherlock wanted something impossible as much as he does right now. He wishes, more than anything, that he could be beautiful so that he could be the man John was talking about.
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Also, thank you again for being so organised and always putting your links in the filled thread!! Big help. I only track the filled thread as I just have no time for following the prompts each single day and so I'm very glad I won't miss anything written by you :)
So I just discovered this prompt through your fill link and god I'm so grateful. Love the prompt, and the beginning of your fill too of course :)
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<3
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(And the word "stuff" in my previous post is supposed to be "stuck." Dagnabit English language)
(Also, Mycroft says "sligali Drawn." I think he's trying to say that he too is drawn to your signal.)
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