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Returning from Sherlock's grave to their apartment depressed him more than seeing the grave. The apartment always seemed extra empty after going there. Cold. Even when Mrs. Hudson went with him, it didn't help.
It was worse because there was never any flowers on the grave. Never any candles that one of them didn't bring.
Not even from Mycroft.
It disappointed John on some level he couldn't explain. Mycroft had given Moriarty information, but John had believed him. Believed him when he said he didn't know what would happen, that he was sorry.
He hadn't even come by the apartment. Had barely been at the funeral, had disappeared as soon as he could.
John had thought that, underneath all the childish bickering, they cared. Now he was thinking he'd been wrong.
Until he reached their apartment, and found himself standing in the door to Sherlock's bedroom.
Mycroft was sitting on the bed, his face in his hands.
His shoulder were shaking. He was completely quiet.
"Mycroft?" John said quietly. "Are you alright?"
Mycroft looked up. "John," he said flatly. "I'm sorry for intruding."
There were teartracks on his face.
"It's fine," John said, stepping inside and closing the door. "I... I miss him too."
"I failed," Mycroft said, mostly to the wall. "I was trying to protect him, and not only did I fail, I helped his enemies along."
John sat down next to him. He didn't really have anything to say to that. It was true. It wasn't what Mycroft had meant to happen. People made mistakes.
It just figured that the Holmes' brothers' mistakes would be so large.
"I didn't tell him that," John said. "That you told-"
"He would have known," Mycroft said quietly, fresh tears slipping down his face. "He would have known."
"Probably," John agreed. He felt a bit better. Mycroft cared. "Still."
He placed an arm around Mycroft's back. He didn't move when John leaned on his shoulder.
It was worse because there was never any flowers on the grave. Never any candles that one of them didn't bring.
Not even from Mycroft.
It disappointed John on some level he couldn't explain. Mycroft had given Moriarty information, but John had believed him. Believed him when he said he didn't know what would happen, that he was sorry.
He hadn't even come by the apartment. Had barely been at the funeral, had disappeared as soon as he could.
John had thought that, underneath all the childish bickering, they cared. Now he was thinking he'd been wrong.
Until he reached their apartment, and found himself standing in the door to Sherlock's bedroom.
Mycroft was sitting on the bed, his face in his hands.
His shoulder were shaking. He was completely quiet.
"Mycroft?" John said quietly. "Are you alright?"
Mycroft looked up. "John," he said flatly. "I'm sorry for intruding."
There were teartracks on his face.
"It's fine," John said, stepping inside and closing the door. "I... I miss him too."
"I failed," Mycroft said, mostly to the wall. "I was trying to protect him, and not only did I fail, I helped his enemies along."
John sat down next to him. He didn't really have anything to say to that. It was true. It wasn't what Mycroft had meant to happen. People made mistakes.
It just figured that the Holmes' brothers' mistakes would be so large.
"I didn't tell him that," John said. "That you told-"
"He would have known," Mycroft said quietly, fresh tears slipping down his face. "He would have known."
"Probably," John agreed. He felt a bit better. Mycroft cared. "Still."
He placed an arm around Mycroft's back. He didn't move when John leaned on his shoulder.
They just sat there for a while.
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Thank you so much; this is wonderful!
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