Prompting Part XXIV

[sherlockbbc_fic]

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Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[voyeurine]

John took a cab to Bart's, staring at London through the rainy haze. He'd always said he'd never understand Sherlock's perpetual detachment, but now he did. At one time he'd have felt mild sympathy for the blonde whose hairdo was wrecked seconds after leaving the pricey salon, or the people who ran madly along the pavement with only a newspaper or purse to protect them from the storm. Now he only felt apathy tinged with contempt.

She's only getting wet. She'll dry off. I'll never get Sherlock back.

So I'm going to join him.

Reaching that decision had been a relief. No more solitude, no more pain, no more Mycroft checking on him. The latter had been especially hard to deal with, as John considered Mycroft's indiscretion with Moriarty to be a prime factor in his brother's suicide. Whenever the elder Holmes dropped in unexpectedly for tea or pulled up next to him in the street, John fought an impulse to break his nose. He didn't believe for a minute that Mycroft really cared; the 'British government' was merely assuaging his own feelings of guilt.

Imagining Mycroft's future reaction to his final act of defiance, John smiled for the first time since Sherlock died.

Fooled you, you pompous prick!

He had the necessary pills in his pocket. He was going to go up on the Pathology Building roof, sit on the very ledge where Sherlock had bid him goodbye via mobile, and take them. It wouldn't take long: fifteen minutes for the anti-nauseant to kick in and prevent his stomach from rebelling, then twenty at the most for the barbiturates to work. Then he'd see his best friend again.

Mrs. Hudson would be devastated, John knew. But she'd also understand. She was not a selfish woman: she'd seen the shell he'd become over the past few weeks, since the funeral. The untouched tea trays and hours of depressed silence reassured John that she would not be surprised, at least. Before leaving for his appointment with Ella, he'd written Mrs. Hudson a letter- the first time he used paper and ink to send a message since signing up for his first e-mail account years ago- thanking her for everything, and left it on the kitchen table at 221b. She deserved that much.

John instructed the cabbie to let him off in the parking lot adjacent to the building. The rain had tapered off, and now the night chill was setting in. John ignored it as he threaded through the ocean of parked cars. His face was pointed skyward, his eyes only seeing his final destination.

When men quietly emerged from a black Toyota he had just passed, he didn't notice. It wasn't until strong arms wrapped around his waist, pinning his arms to his sides, that he knew his plans were being thwarted.

John twisted fiercely and tried to yell, but a large had gripped his hair, holding his head steady as a soft, damp cloth was pressed down over his nose and mouth. Heady fumes shot up his nostrils, making him choke and his legs buckle. The last thing he remembered before descending into darkness was a familiar yet hated voice saying, "I can't let you do this, John. Forgive me."

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[donutsweeper]

Interesting beginning, can't wait to see where you take this!

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[voyeurine]

Thanks so much- more coming by Friday at the latest!

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[voyeurine]

Reaching that decision had been a relief.
Perfect glimpse into a suicidal mind.
And i can really feel John's anger at Mycroft...looking forward to more :)

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[voyeurine]

Thank you for that. I've lost friends to suicide, so writing this fic is, in part, my own attempt to understand.

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[lysther]

I like this. I do hope that we get a bit more of a reason as to why John is doing this beyond "sherlock is dead ergo I don't want to live anymore", though. Were they in a relationship? Are there other things going on? Are John's nightmares getting worse?

That's just me though, you're welcome to take it wherever you want to :D

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[voyeurine]

Yes, that will all come out- thanks to 'Doctor' Mycroft Holmes...

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[trillsabells]

Yay!

Also aww! Poor John. The way he's almost... looking forward to it. But yay for Mycroft! Even if John doesn't think that yet.

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[voyeurine]

John definitely doesn't think that yet, so an intervention is necessary.

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[maurice]

Great start! Hope to see more soon.

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[voyeurine]

I hear and heed! More on Friday!

Re: Promise to the Living Part 1b/?

[nejem]

Kidnapping John to stop him is so Mycroftian I actually have no problems picturing that XD This is heartbreaking, utterly heartbreaking, but I can see Mycroft taking care of John and trying to help him in his own way. I can't wait to read more, this is very interesting! Great start! :)