Let's pretend we don't exist...
When I was in fourth grade, I somehow got involved with these two older, bad-ass fifth-graders. We would ride our bikes around the neighborhood and break into houses that were up for sale. People always leave weird shit behind, and we would take the shit and play with it, along with spending hours in these vacant homes doing whatever it is that elementary school kids do in an empty house.
I felt alive, and rebellious, and a little like a bad-ass myself. It was an emotional day in my life when they got busted for doing something way worse than breaking into houses, and I had to cease my friendship with the two of them.
I had to go back to my slow and mundane life, and although it was probably for the best, I still missed them in many ways.
And I find myself at the same point today, as I have numerous times since those primary school days. For the last three weeks I have been rebellious, and fun, and loose-lipped and crazy. I have done whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and consumed large amounts of alcohol to fuel it all. And it has been great.
In a non-lesbian way, I have fallen for my friend Marie. She makes me laugh, and makes me feel child-like. We don't talk about math or world issues, but instead about which softball players are virgins and which are lesbians. We talk about our respective long-distance relationships, and we school each other about the heterosexual and homosexual lives of 20-somethings. We make funny faces at each other while we are base-coaching, and we think of excuses to end practice early - most of which involve guacamole or Disarrono.
Marie's my bad-ass friend. And I feel a little more bad-ass since I've been hanging out with her.
But now her girlfriend's back, and so is my old life. And I feel as though I am having a Brokeback moment. I don't want to let her go, but I know that our lives can't go on as they have been.
My friend asked me the other day, "Sheri, are you a lesbian?"
I replied, "No, but I have a very special relationship with Marie."
And that's the only way that I know how to explain it.
I felt alive, and rebellious, and a little like a bad-ass myself. It was an emotional day in my life when they got busted for doing something way worse than breaking into houses, and I had to cease my friendship with the two of them.
I had to go back to my slow and mundane life, and although it was probably for the best, I still missed them in many ways.
And I find myself at the same point today, as I have numerous times since those primary school days. For the last three weeks I have been rebellious, and fun, and loose-lipped and crazy. I have done whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and consumed large amounts of alcohol to fuel it all. And it has been great.
In a non-lesbian way, I have fallen for my friend Marie. She makes me laugh, and makes me feel child-like. We don't talk about math or world issues, but instead about which softball players are virgins and which are lesbians. We talk about our respective long-distance relationships, and we school each other about the heterosexual and homosexual lives of 20-somethings. We make funny faces at each other while we are base-coaching, and we think of excuses to end practice early - most of which involve guacamole or Disarrono.
Marie's my bad-ass friend. And I feel a little more bad-ass since I've been hanging out with her.
But now her girlfriend's back, and so is my old life. And I feel as though I am having a Brokeback moment. I don't want to let her go, but I know that our lives can't go on as they have been.
My friend asked me the other day, "Sheri, are you a lesbian?"
I replied, "No, but I have a very special relationship with Marie."
And that's the only way that I know how to explain it.