(no subject)
Why is it that guys always have to continuously ask you if something is wrong when you don't talk to them? I've been going through that for as lnog as I can remember. Dan constantly asks me if I'm okay and if there's anything on my mind. I finally broke down today and blew up at him. I told him that I wished that there would be at least one weekend we can have together were he isn't on his computer or laying on the couch watching tv. I want him to see what I go through during the week with Jayden and see how he feels after dealing with him for a whole day with no help. He also complains about when I ask him to change a diaper on Jayden. He's made it very clear that he doesn't do poopie diapers, but he'll have to learn at some point especially when I'm gone on a day during the weekend and can't have Jayden with me. Some guys as just lazy asses and I'm sick of that. I told Dan that he needs to suck it up, grow a pair, and help me out during the weekend. This coming weekend(Martin Luther King Weekend) he's not gonna be home. He's going on a fishing trip with his dad, uncle, and some other guys. It's a yearly thing and he hasn't been able to go in a few years due to his working in retail and not having weekends off. Now that he has weekends off, he can pretty much do whatever he wants. That's just it--whatever HE wants. He sometimes doesn't think about me and Jayden--makes me feel like more of a single parent than anything. I'm not gonna like being here alone during this upcoming weekend. It's going to scare the hell out of me. It'll be the first time I'm all alone for a weekend--well, I'll have Jayden, but I'll still be freaking out. Luckily I'll have Dan's car, but I really don't have anywhere I need to go. I tried planning a girls weekend, but that's getting cancelled due to no babysitter and the weather sucks. Gonna probably hit up the flea market to get a few new movies since Dan is gonna be leaving me some money just in case I have to go out and get anything like diapers and things like that. I wish I could actually go out and have a few drinks, but I know that won't happen. His sister Nikki has offered to babysit on Friday pending she can get her plans pushed back to the following night. I hate asking for help, but I know I'll never get turned down with his family. My family on the other hand isn't really speaking to me. I blew up at them on the Family Christmas Party day last month and ended up not going to that. Thank god I'm on medication now for my anxiety. I'm this way all because of shit that happened last Easter then shit that happened the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I won't get into that unless someone wants to know about it. That's pretty much a whole different journal posting--it would be that long.