(no subject)
growingup
as i get older i start to realize there's less and less to look forward to. but why!? why does it have to be this way? and then i realized the cause of this...there are no hallmarks between the age of 25 to 65.
check it....there are significant years to look forward to
1 years old - granted you don't remember a lick of what happened this day, but bottomline you know it was great cause you probably had cake and you could go in your pants at the same time and it was alllll good.
6 years old - you can eat free at a bunch of places. movie tickets are cheap and you can kick shins.
13 years old - you could sign up for Xanga. =)
14 years old - you could actually legally start making money. financial independence here we come!
16 years old - sweet 16. throw a party, feel cool...but then 10 years later look back and wonder why you had a pinata.
16-18 years old - you can toss your schwinn and start rolling on some real wheels. you can also get married in a couple states without parent's consent! VIVA LAS VEGAS!
17 years old - you can go to a rated R movie by yourself....LOSER!
18 years old - the vice year. you can buy porn, smoke cigarettes, gamble in some states, and pay for your own car insurance. unless you get drafted.
21 years old - the peak of your life - you can drink, do everything above, gamble in all states and also realize you have no idea what you're doing with your life.
25 years old - you can rent a car. that's about it. just rent a geo metro.
65 years old - senior citizen discounts.
so you see, there's this HUGE gap between 25 - 65...life moves so much better when you have something to look forward to. which is why, i suggest we set up new milestones:
30 years old - it's the slip and slide year. all 30 year olds are required to install slip and slides at their homes and use it all year long.
38 years old - you're allowed to set one thing on fire. could be anything.
45 years old - you can register to become the president of botswana. everyday, they'll have a lottery and a lucky winner will be chosen to run the country.
52 years old - Free Sausage Mcgriddles. all year. enough said.
55 years old - they shoulld make movies rated NC - 55. curious what that would look like.
60 years old - be given the ability to fly just by flapping our 'hello jello' arms
After 75 years old - can not be put to jail. i mean, why would you put an old guy in jail? he's old. like old. really old.
man, i can't wait until slip and slide year.