...Across the midnight sky
Feck. Haven't updated this thing for ages and so much has been happening. This is just like me..don't write anything for ages and then write this huge fuck-off boring entry that takes up everyone else's friends pages! Bah. Well, i'm back at home now. Yep, a whole damn academic year has gone, i remember when i was just moving into halls and started uni and now a whole year is over! Lets hope anyways..retakes ain't my style. Aw my mum found a birthday present she forgot to give me, a bag from H&M. I really like it although it's kinda weird and would not usually be my thing but hey, it's nice.
Small image break:
Which PPG would you be?
Right. So the major news i guess is that me and Matthew got back together. Um, so much to explain. But yeah after the abusive stage and then the loving thing, he told me he wanted to be friends because he'd rather have me in his life than not at all. So that's cool, we were friends but he kept ringing me everyday and we saw each other on monday and it was just so natural and that night we ended up sharing a bed together too so *blush* things were like weird us just being friends. But i was kinda determined to just stay friends but then on Friday i drank a whole little bottle of vodka..(heh, you can see where THIS one is going huh?) and then went to some bars with my girl friends, then i went to Metros to meet the others. When i got there he was so happy to see me, he had the biggest smile on his face, infact i havent seen him smile that much and genuinely for a while. We got on SO well and i sat on his lap all night and we just hugged and were closer than friends but it all felt so natural. And then anyways i have a fight with Darren, an argument. Basically fucking Darren went off on one at me about me being friends with Julie & Katy and how im slagging him off to them and how he's always been there for me and how i should defend him against them. Well news for you Darren:
*you're only ever "there" for me when your drunk, and your version of being there for me is going on some drunken emotional trip about how you love me AK-fucking-A: i'm one of the only ones that will still talk
*you're matthew's friend really not mine.
I didn't say this to him by the way, i just shouted at him: just because i don't defend you doesnt mean i slag you off. And then i was too angry and drunk to say anything else. Matt was being really cool about it and whatever and i said i was leaving and he said if i went, he did. So um yeah we went to chippy lane and then got a taxi home (shit he paid for all of this..didnt realise until now) and he was hugging me and kissing me all the way home, like not going out kissing tho. We spent all saturday in bed and packing away my stuff because we were meant to watch Jay and Silent..but didn't have enough time. And then he bought me chinese takeout in the evening which was really nice :o) he loves me and i love him.
The only thing that's bringing my life down majorly at the moment is the fact i'm late for my period by about 2 weeks. And, um, i'm booking a pregnancy test for Wednesday. My mum knows which is fucked up because if ever this stuff did happen i wanted her to be oblivious to it. She's ok about it..but hey it's all fucked up. I dont wanna be pregnant and have an abortion but if that's the case then i'm gonna do it. But im really scared and it's hard not having Matt here with me too although he said he'd come if needs be. It really angered me tho how mum was going: oh you shouldnt have told him, you should have done it alone, you shouldnt trust him or anyone. Hey it's my life and i'm sorry but you have to trust someone at some point otherwise what kinda of fucking life would you have?? ARGH parents really rile me sometimes. But i'm just trying to not to think about all of this.
Hmmmm i may post more later but i can't be bothered right now.
Small image break:
Which PPG would you be?
Right. So the major news i guess is that me and Matthew got back together. Um, so much to explain. But yeah after the abusive stage and then the loving thing, he told me he wanted to be friends because he'd rather have me in his life than not at all. So that's cool, we were friends but he kept ringing me everyday and we saw each other on monday and it was just so natural and that night we ended up sharing a bed together too so *blush* things were like weird us just being friends. But i was kinda determined to just stay friends but then on Friday i drank a whole little bottle of vodka..(heh, you can see where THIS one is going huh?) and then went to some bars with my girl friends, then i went to Metros to meet the others. When i got there he was so happy to see me, he had the biggest smile on his face, infact i havent seen him smile that much and genuinely for a while. We got on SO well and i sat on his lap all night and we just hugged and were closer than friends but it all felt so natural. And then anyways i have a fight with Darren, an argument. Basically fucking Darren went off on one at me about me being friends with Julie & Katy and how im slagging him off to them and how he's always been there for me and how i should defend him against them. Well news for you Darren:
*you're only ever "there" for me when your drunk, and your version of being there for me is going on some drunken emotional trip about how you love me AK-fucking-A: i'm one of the only ones that will still talk
*you're matthew's friend really not mine.
I didn't say this to him by the way, i just shouted at him: just because i don't defend you doesnt mean i slag you off. And then i was too angry and drunk to say anything else. Matt was being really cool about it and whatever and i said i was leaving and he said if i went, he did. So um yeah we went to chippy lane and then got a taxi home (shit he paid for all of this..didnt realise until now) and he was hugging me and kissing me all the way home, like not going out kissing tho. We spent all saturday in bed and packing away my stuff because we were meant to watch Jay and Silent..but didn't have enough time. And then he bought me chinese takeout in the evening which was really nice :o) he loves me and i love him.
The only thing that's bringing my life down majorly at the moment is the fact i'm late for my period by about 2 weeks. And, um, i'm booking a pregnancy test for Wednesday. My mum knows which is fucked up because if ever this stuff did happen i wanted her to be oblivious to it. She's ok about it..but hey it's all fucked up. I dont wanna be pregnant and have an abortion but if that's the case then i'm gonna do it. But im really scared and it's hard not having Matt here with me too although he said he'd come if needs be. It really angered me tho how mum was going: oh you shouldnt have told him, you should have done it alone, you shouldnt trust him or anyone. Hey it's my life and i'm sorry but you have to trust someone at some point otherwise what kinda of fucking life would you have?? ARGH parents really rile me sometimes. But i'm just trying to not to think about all of this.
Hmmmm i may post more later but i can't be bothered right now.