Thunder only happens when it's raining.
So many conflicting thoughts at the the moment. Brought on by YOU, my friends list.
I wanted to copy this quite from purple_rain because i just thought it was so fabulous and so true and just very in sync with how i feel in one part of me:
I can't be bothered trying to be arty farty, intelligent and obscure like so many other people do. It's just not me. And quite often it isn't other people either. The word "trite" springs to mind
Then i say: Lily is so romantic with words and i wonder, i would like to be, i would love to think and it all to come out like a river of emotion but it just doesn't, not out of me and going back to Rhia's comment..i'm not sure whether i would like it to be.
And then Raeeka devilyouknow rants at the world about how she deserves to be loved and how she is special and cunts it up and sounds so true and then i think that is also what i want to ooze at the moment but i feel as weak as my mother.
The truth is i have just experienced one of the worst moments of my life; my mum has come home from hospital for the night and it trusly hits me when we have to bathe her and she has a drip under her arm, bandages everywhere because she has been cut up so badly. The pain is etched into her face i can see it, she cant even go to the toilet properly or without one of us needing to help her and for what? Then it comes. Tears prick my eyes even now, she turns round and cries and hugs me and cries and says 'you shouldnt be doing this for me, not at your age, you shouldnt have come back to help your mother' and i just snap and get upset. Its like a rock being completely weathered, the old rock you have always known & relied on.
And then back to Rhia's point it comes: It's just not me. And quite often it isn't other people either. Lets get over it. Lets get through this.
I wanted to copy this quite from purple_rain because i just thought it was so fabulous and so true and just very in sync with how i feel in one part of me:
I can't be bothered trying to be arty farty, intelligent and obscure like so many other people do. It's just not me. And quite often it isn't other people either. The word "trite" springs to mind
Then i say: Lily is so romantic with words and i wonder, i would like to be, i would love to think and it all to come out like a river of emotion but it just doesn't, not out of me and going back to Rhia's comment..i'm not sure whether i would like it to be.
And then Raeeka devilyouknow rants at the world about how she deserves to be loved and how she is special and cunts it up and sounds so true and then i think that is also what i want to ooze at the moment but i feel as weak as my mother.
The truth is i have just experienced one of the worst moments of my life; my mum has come home from hospital for the night and it trusly hits me when we have to bathe her and she has a drip under her arm, bandages everywhere because she has been cut up so badly. The pain is etched into her face i can see it, she cant even go to the toilet properly or without one of us needing to help her and for what? Then it comes. Tears prick my eyes even now, she turns round and cries and hugs me and cries and says 'you shouldnt be doing this for me, not at your age, you shouldnt have come back to help your mother' and i just snap and get upset. Its like a rock being completely weathered, the old rock you have always known & relied on.
And then back to Rhia's point it comes: It's just not me. And quite often it isn't other people either. Lets get over it. Lets get through this.