Travelers tag
Title: Sexy Aliens and the Single Colonel: A Survival Guide
Author: padawan_aneiki
Rating/Pairing: PG/None
Characters: John, Rodney, Keller
Summary: John muses over the rules for survival.
Sexy Aliens and the Single Colonel:
A Survival Guide
Rule One: don’t fall for the pretty face.
God, I fell for the pretty face. I hate those pins and needles.
“Ow, Doc, take it easy...” John Sheppard realized that feeling was indeed fully returned as Jennifer Keller gave him a good looking over. Currently she had his shirt open and was carefully palpating along a bruised abdomen. He sucked in a little breath as she moved her hands along the midline, right where he’d been punched a couple of times and kicked at least once. It was enough to make Keller slow down and check more carefully and John grimaced.
“No initial sign of any internal injury or bleeding but I think I want to run a couple of scans just to be sure,” she said as she pulled her hands back and John set about tugging down his teeshirt and re-buttoning the black uniform shirt.
“I’m fine, Doc,” he protested and cautiously sat up, resisting the impulse to suck in another hissing breath at the motion. It had been awhile since he’d been sucker-punched that hard and his stomach wasn’t going to be all that forgiving for a few days until the bruising broke up.
“And then there’s that little matter of radiation exposure...” Keller stood her ground, arms folded across her chest and standing well within his personal space should he decide to hop off the exam bed. “You’re going to let me have those scans, Colonel, or you’ll be grounded.”
“You wouldn’t...” John started, his most charming smile beginning to blossom, but then he paused midway.
Rule Two: don’t underestimate the ability to carry out a threat.
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
“Fine,” he sighed, and he lay back down on the bed, allowing Keller to poke and prod and scan and check vitals. “So, Doc, give it to me straight, am I gonna be able to play the piano again?” He glanced at her somewhat sourly.
“Depends on if you could play it to begin with,” Keller replied just as evenly as she began to look over the scan results.
“Well...no,” John grumbled and started once again to button his shirt. “What’s the verdict, seriously?” he wanted to know and he very cautiously sat up again.
“The verdict is that aside from getting picked on by the neighborhood bully, you’re all right.” She glanced up from the data just as John rubbed his stomach, a distinctly uncomfortable look on his face. “Colonel!” she stepped forward swiftly but he simply waved her away.
“Stomach’s growling is all,” he explained. “I’m starving for some regular food. All I had was half an apple and they took that when they yanked me off the jumper.”
“If that’s all...” Jennifer glanced over the information. “Okay, but take it easy for a day or two; you’re pretty sore. Give yourself a break.”
“Can do,” John said brightly and he slid off the exam bed, jammed his feet back into his half-laced boots and headed up for the mess.
Rule Three: don’t let your team mates call your bluff.
Shut up, McKay.
John put up with Rodney’s Kirk-comments and generalized jealous grousing regarding the female of the species mainly because he was hungry and at this moment, mystery meat and gravy tasted damn good. He even went up for seconds; surprising his team-mates, and to be honest, it surprised John too but he simply chalked it up to the unappetizing offering from the Travelers and nearly two days without anything else.
Rule Four: when the doc wants to give you a post-rescue physical, let her.
God, I feel like crap.
It wasn’t until a couple hours after debriefing with Colonel Carter that John finally admitted to himself that he wasn’t feeling well. He was tired, he ached and that mystery meat felt like a rock in his stomach. Finding his way back to his quarters, he pulled off his boots and dropped onto his bed, wanting nothing more than to sleep off the whole thing.
Five minutes later he was lurching unsteadily for the bathroom, losing the contents of his stomach in a painful bout of vomiting that reminded him of every single bruise and left him shaky. Sitting back against the wall, he reached up and grabbed a nearby towel. Wiping his mouth he tipped his head back against the wall, feeling the coolness.
John wasn’t sure he could stand up right away, and the hand holding the towel dropped down to the floor. He closed his eyes, fought to master the sick feeling that swept over him again in a rush. He didn’t know how long he sat there before he scrambled forward again and vomited hard once more. Cradling his stomach, he shakily climbed to his feet and made his way back to his bed, weaving slightly but managing to make it. He fairly collapsed on the bed, still nauseated.
Rule Five: know when to call in the cavalry.
I hate being sick.
John’s stomach rebelled even as he reached over to the nightstand and fumbled for his earpiece.
“Sheppard...Keller....” he managed to get out without touching off the nausea that threatened. “I...I could...use a little help, here.”
“Colonel?” Keller’s voice was in his ear, concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“Sick,” he managed to say the obvious without subjecting her to the sound of puking his guts up. “Quarters...”
“Stay there, I’m coming to you with a med team,” Keller promised.
Last but not least: if there’s any mention of radiation, take it seriously.
Larin owes me. Bigtime.
“Radiation poisoning?” McKay exclaimed, nearly loudly enough for half the city to hear; and John sighed wearily as he listened to McKay settle into panic mode. He’d spent the past couple hours trying to forcibly eject his stomach from his body and despite the fact that Keller had assured him the levels of radiation present weren’t enough to be fatal, he felt absolutely miserable. Far too miserable to put up with McKay’s usual predictions of doom and gloom.
“Knock it off, McKay,” John grumbled, but without much force for fear of reawakening the nausea.
“Well how did you manage to miss something like that?” Rodney demanded of the physician, before glancing back at John. “I mean, aside from the obvious detriment of death, let’s see...there’s cancer, there’s sterility...”
“McKay,” John raised his voice a little then. His ability to produce offspring was a non-topic as far as he was concerned.
“Well, okay, so maybe avoiding a whole bunch of Sheppard Juniors is a gift in disguise but I’m sure you’d prefer to keep your hair,” McKay snarked back, but there was open worry in his expression. Despite himself, John reached up and raked fingers through the messy locks, as if to reassure himself that they were still there.
“The type of radiation Colonel Sheppard was exposed to isn’t one that we routinely scan for; the particular modifications the Ancients made to their hyperdrive were a little...unusual, even for what we’ve encountered.”
“Oh no, oh no...he’s going to die isn’t he? Some sort of unusual radiation and it’s going to kill him!”
“McKay, I’m not dying,” John protested, despite the fact his stomach was trying to tell him otherwise.
Keller backed up that statement, although she did say he was likely to be ill for a couple weeks, until the after-effects of the radiation dissipated.
John listened to the pair of them talk a few minutes more before he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. The more of the next couple weeks he could sleep through, the better, he thought. Settling back and hearing the familiar sounds of home, however, he couldn’t help but smile slightly.
“Next time, how about skipping the whole kidnapping thing altogether?” McKay was saying.
Yeah, I think I’ll do that...maybe that should be Rule One.
Author: padawan_aneiki
Rating/Pairing: PG/None
Characters: John, Rodney, Keller
Summary: John muses over the rules for survival.
Sexy Aliens and the Single Colonel:
A Survival Guide
Rule One: don’t fall for the pretty face.
God, I fell for the pretty face. I hate those pins and needles.
“Ow, Doc, take it easy...” John Sheppard realized that feeling was indeed fully returned as Jennifer Keller gave him a good looking over. Currently she had his shirt open and was carefully palpating along a bruised abdomen. He sucked in a little breath as she moved her hands along the midline, right where he’d been punched a couple of times and kicked at least once. It was enough to make Keller slow down and check more carefully and John grimaced.
“No initial sign of any internal injury or bleeding but I think I want to run a couple of scans just to be sure,” she said as she pulled her hands back and John set about tugging down his teeshirt and re-buttoning the black uniform shirt.
“I’m fine, Doc,” he protested and cautiously sat up, resisting the impulse to suck in another hissing breath at the motion. It had been awhile since he’d been sucker-punched that hard and his stomach wasn’t going to be all that forgiving for a few days until the bruising broke up.
“And then there’s that little matter of radiation exposure...” Keller stood her ground, arms folded across her chest and standing well within his personal space should he decide to hop off the exam bed. “You’re going to let me have those scans, Colonel, or you’ll be grounded.”
“You wouldn’t...” John started, his most charming smile beginning to blossom, but then he paused midway.
Rule Two: don’t underestimate the ability to carry out a threat.
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
“Fine,” he sighed, and he lay back down on the bed, allowing Keller to poke and prod and scan and check vitals. “So, Doc, give it to me straight, am I gonna be able to play the piano again?” He glanced at her somewhat sourly.
“Depends on if you could play it to begin with,” Keller replied just as evenly as she began to look over the scan results.
“Well...no,” John grumbled and started once again to button his shirt. “What’s the verdict, seriously?” he wanted to know and he very cautiously sat up again.
“The verdict is that aside from getting picked on by the neighborhood bully, you’re all right.” She glanced up from the data just as John rubbed his stomach, a distinctly uncomfortable look on his face. “Colonel!” she stepped forward swiftly but he simply waved her away.
“Stomach’s growling is all,” he explained. “I’m starving for some regular food. All I had was half an apple and they took that when they yanked me off the jumper.”
“If that’s all...” Jennifer glanced over the information. “Okay, but take it easy for a day or two; you’re pretty sore. Give yourself a break.”
“Can do,” John said brightly and he slid off the exam bed, jammed his feet back into his half-laced boots and headed up for the mess.
Rule Three: don’t let your team mates call your bluff.
Shut up, McKay.
John put up with Rodney’s Kirk-comments and generalized jealous grousing regarding the female of the species mainly because he was hungry and at this moment, mystery meat and gravy tasted damn good. He even went up for seconds; surprising his team-mates, and to be honest, it surprised John too but he simply chalked it up to the unappetizing offering from the Travelers and nearly two days without anything else.
Rule Four: when the doc wants to give you a post-rescue physical, let her.
God, I feel like crap.
It wasn’t until a couple hours after debriefing with Colonel Carter that John finally admitted to himself that he wasn’t feeling well. He was tired, he ached and that mystery meat felt like a rock in his stomach. Finding his way back to his quarters, he pulled off his boots and dropped onto his bed, wanting nothing more than to sleep off the whole thing.
Five minutes later he was lurching unsteadily for the bathroom, losing the contents of his stomach in a painful bout of vomiting that reminded him of every single bruise and left him shaky. Sitting back against the wall, he reached up and grabbed a nearby towel. Wiping his mouth he tipped his head back against the wall, feeling the coolness.
John wasn’t sure he could stand up right away, and the hand holding the towel dropped down to the floor. He closed his eyes, fought to master the sick feeling that swept over him again in a rush. He didn’t know how long he sat there before he scrambled forward again and vomited hard once more. Cradling his stomach, he shakily climbed to his feet and made his way back to his bed, weaving slightly but managing to make it. He fairly collapsed on the bed, still nauseated.
Rule Five: know when to call in the cavalry.
I hate being sick.
John’s stomach rebelled even as he reached over to the nightstand and fumbled for his earpiece.
“Sheppard...Keller....” he managed to get out without touching off the nausea that threatened. “I...I could...use a little help, here.”
“Colonel?” Keller’s voice was in his ear, concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“Sick,” he managed to say the obvious without subjecting her to the sound of puking his guts up. “Quarters...”
“Stay there, I’m coming to you with a med team,” Keller promised.
Last but not least: if there’s any mention of radiation, take it seriously.
Larin owes me. Bigtime.
“Radiation poisoning?” McKay exclaimed, nearly loudly enough for half the city to hear; and John sighed wearily as he listened to McKay settle into panic mode. He’d spent the past couple hours trying to forcibly eject his stomach from his body and despite the fact that Keller had assured him the levels of radiation present weren’t enough to be fatal, he felt absolutely miserable. Far too miserable to put up with McKay’s usual predictions of doom and gloom.
“Knock it off, McKay,” John grumbled, but without much force for fear of reawakening the nausea.
“Well how did you manage to miss something like that?” Rodney demanded of the physician, before glancing back at John. “I mean, aside from the obvious detriment of death, let’s see...there’s cancer, there’s sterility...”
“McKay,” John raised his voice a little then. His ability to produce offspring was a non-topic as far as he was concerned.
“Well, okay, so maybe avoiding a whole bunch of Sheppard Juniors is a gift in disguise but I’m sure you’d prefer to keep your hair,” McKay snarked back, but there was open worry in his expression. Despite himself, John reached up and raked fingers through the messy locks, as if to reassure himself that they were still there.
“The type of radiation Colonel Sheppard was exposed to isn’t one that we routinely scan for; the particular modifications the Ancients made to their hyperdrive were a little...unusual, even for what we’ve encountered.”
“Oh no, oh no...he’s going to die isn’t he? Some sort of unusual radiation and it’s going to kill him!”
“McKay, I’m not dying,” John protested, despite the fact his stomach was trying to tell him otherwise.
Keller backed up that statement, although she did say he was likely to be ill for a couple weeks, until the after-effects of the radiation dissipated.
John listened to the pair of them talk a few minutes more before he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. The more of the next couple weeks he could sleep through, the better, he thought. Settling back and hearing the familiar sounds of home, however, he couldn’t help but smile slightly.
“Next time, how about skipping the whole kidnapping thing altogether?” McKay was saying.
Yeah, I think I’ll do that...maybe that should be Rule One.