Common Ground Tag

Mar 21, 2008 20:04

Title: Afterthoughts
Rating: G
Author: seramercury
Characters: John, Carson, Rodney, Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth



"Well, Colonel," Carson said with a smile, "you're as good as new!"

John nodded as he hopped off the bed. "Thanks, Carson. Now, I'm going to shower and get something to eat."

"Aye, that sounds like a great idea."

John rushed off, happy to be out of the infirmary. When the thought came as to where he could have been, he pushed them away. Instead, he began whistling and grinning wildly at whoever passed him by in the corridors. He arrived at his quarters and proceeded to undress and headed to the shower.

He paused briefly and there was sudden flash. John fell to his knees, clutching his chest. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself as his eyes strayed to the marks the Wraith left behind. John wondered if seeing the impressions are what triggered the brief flashback.

John thought a few minutes and, with a shrug, convinced himself it would only be a one-time thing.

Once he was finished John headed down to the mess hall where he saw all his favorites were being served for dinner. Word must have spread like wildfire throughout the city for the kitchen staff to have all that prepared for him.

He had finally been able to sit down after being stopped many times when his radio beeped. "Sheppard."

"Where are you?"

"Doing great, Rodney, how are you?"

"Fine," he replied, oblivious to John's sarcastic comment. "You said you were going to meet us for a movie, or did you forget?"

John sighed. Of course he forgot. "I think I'm entitled to forget that it was Thursday and we were going to watch a movie. I'll be down in few."

******

"Rodney that was uncalled for."

"What?" Rodney asked.

"Colonel Sheppard has been through a lot. I would think you, of all people, would be more understanding."

"Oh, come on! He's fine! Even Carson said so." Ronon merely grunted. "You're taking her side?"

"I'm not taking any side, McKay. If you had gone through what Sheppard had, you wouldn't want people saying stuff like that."

Rodney nodded slowly. Of course he wouldn't but he just thought the best way to help his friend move on was not reminding him of it every two minutes. He shuddered as it replayed in his mind. The Wraith screaming for more, John's eyes closed tightly as it happened, but looking up defiantly at Kolya once it was done.

He doubted he would ever have courage like that. Rodney would like to think he did. Maybe at some point but right now, he would have just cowered in the corner.

"Hey, guys!" John said, pulling Rodney from his thoughts. Carson and Elizabeth were standing behind him. "I brought some snacks and two other guests."

Ronon got up from the spot on the couch to allow Elizabeth to sit next to Teyla. He then gave Rodney a look to get off so John could sit down. Before the scientist could even move, Ronon yanked him onto the floor.

"What was that for?"

"Sheppard is sitting there."

"No he's not, I was. I have a bad back, you know. Sitting on the floor--"

Carson interrupted the man's tirade. "Rodney, you'll be fine. I'd rather Colonel Sheppard sit there."

"Don't mind me," John replied with a grin and sat down.

Elizabeth shook her head. "You are such a little kid, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

About an hour into the movie, John's mind started to drift and he the memory of what Kolya did to him began to resurface. His chest felt a bit tight but he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to sound like a baby.

Glancing to his right, he saw that his friends were intently watching the screen so he quietly slipped out of his seat and into the hall towards the balcony, figuring all he needed was air.

It took him a bit longer than he would have liked to get there and soon he was leaning against the rail, panting. His chest was killing him and he felt as if the Wraith were sucking the life out of him again.

John could hear his name being called but it sounded so far away and he was afraid that if he replied, it would be with his last breath. He thrashed at the arms that were trying to hold him down. That's when he felt a small prick on his shoulder and everything began to fade away into darkness.

********

Everything slowly came into focus, but John wasn't sure how much time had passed. He noticed that the pain he was experiencing had dissipated along with the breathing issues. John turned to face Carson when he saw the physician walking over.

"Doc?"

Carson smiled. "It's good to see you away, Colonel."

"What happened to me?"

"To be honest," Carson said as he wrote in John's chart, "you sort of freaked out on us."

John stared at him for a moment. "I... what?"

"Well you were doing fine during most of the movie but ten minutes into it, Elizabeth notice that you were no longer next to her. We found you on the balcony clutching your chest. You were having difficulty breathing."

Carson paused when he saw the look of confusion in the man's eyes. "Why don't I remember any of that?" John asked.

"Your mind is just blocking it because you seemed to be reliving what that Wraith did to you. I know you don't want to or maybe don't even think you need to, but you have to talk to someone about this, Colonel. I won't put you on active duty until you do."

John nodded, thinking about what Carson said. He thought he was stronger than this! How can a Wraith reduce him to a puddle on the floor? John swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat. He knew how. He was afraid. It was the most horrifying way to die that he could imagine. He could definitely have lived without ever knowing how that felt!

"Colonel? John!" John blinked, shaking his head when he heard his name being called. "Bloody hell!"

He wasn't sure how long Carson had been calling his name, but it must have been a while since the physician seemed a bit pale. "I'm fine, Doc, and I agree with you," John admitted. "I don't want this to weigh on me."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Carson replied with a smile.

"Where is everyone?"

"I sent them to their quarters to rest and I'm ordering them to talk to someone as well, namely Dr. Heightmeyer. So you're definitely agreeing with me on this?"

John shook his head. "Not entirely. I'd like to do this as a group session where we can get everything out in the open. How we felt, what we thought. Although I say we take Ronon's gun away from him."

Carson was thoughtful for a few minutes. "I'll have to run it by Dr. Heightmeyer first but I'm sure that could work. She'll probably want to sit in on a few sessions, though."

"That's fine, Doc," John said, yawning.

"Well, I'll let you get some rest. The others will probably back in an hour. I'll have some dinner brought up then if you'd like."

"Yeah. Thanks."

As Carson nodded and walked away, John curled under the covers with a sigh. He would get through this with the help of his friends and vice versa. It didn't matter how long it took them, but one thing was certain according to John Sheppard, Kolya wasn't going to win.

fiction-friendship, fiction-team, 3rd season episode tags, fiction-whump, fiction-wraith, fiction-carson, fiction-angst, author-seramercury, fiction-john

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