A belated but heart-felt Christmas present!
Sheppard Hurt-Comfort Secret Santa prompt
Title: Home for the Holidays
Recipient: pir8fancier, who requested slash, mcshep, Christmas presents, plum pudding and broken legs. Some of that you may have to squint for.
Author: Rabidfan
Warnings/Ratings/Word count: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. If I did they’d be better cared for. This is about PG I suppose. PG-13 if you’re particularly squeamish. It clocks in at nearly 5,000 words. That’s a lot of words to say next to nothing! I sort of feel like Seinfeld!
Spoilers: Some discussion of season three’s “The Return” and obvious allusions to post “Enemy at the Gate” of season five. Mostly so AU you’d have a hard time noticing.
Summary: “Should you decide to…I don’t know…declare Fatwa or something, Radek will know where to find me.”
With the city stuck on Earth and most of the extraneous personnel still in Pegasus there really wasn’t much to do. Rodney had considered…at least for a few minutes…well, maybe just one…joining the Colonel, Teyla and Ronon while they “helped” assorted SG teams in their travels through the galaxy. But frankly, once you’ve faced the Wraith? Nothing that any of the pissants in the Milky Way had to offer was very interesting. No thanks. He’d turned his attention elsewhere. Places it was more profitably put to use.
“I hear you’re going on a lecture circuit with Jennifer.” Sheppard’s tone wasn’t at all friendly.
“Yes,” Rodney beamed at him, missing completely the narrowed expression and the twitching eyebrows. “You’ll have to live without me for a few months, Colonel. I’m not going to be here to bail out your collective asses! I’m off to be appreciated the way I should be!” Possibly that came out a little more pompous than he intended. Still, the premise was true. They weren’t heading back to Pegasus any time soon, maybe forever. It was time to think about repositioning himself in the scientific community. Sheppard was back working with the SGC, Teyla and Ronon were waiting for a ride home. What was Rodney supposed to do?
Sheppard grabbed Rodney’s arm and muscled him into the empty conference room, sending him towards the chairs with a shove that had his papers flying across the table.
“What the hell is your problem, Sheppard? Just because you’re stuck with Babbis and Wallace for the duration doesn’t make any of this my problem!” He pulled back from Sheppard’s grip. “I’ve got a future that doesn’t involve the Wraith for a change. Don’t you see that?”
As soon as the words left his mouth Rodney regretted them. He didn’t really want to cut himself off from his friends. From his team. From Sheppard. He ached at the idea of not being in the here and now with them. With him. But life had to move ahead, didn’t it? Wasn’t the whole crux of the problem? They were here, on Earth. Oh, they’d send Teyla and Ronon home with the Daedalus once a decision was announced, but it was clear the IOA wanted Atlantis on Earth.
One Wraith attack and the whole ruling structure fell apart like emotionally challenged teenaged girls.
He’d tried again to explain it to Sheppard. They were here. He could finally do the grand lecture tour he so deserved. Major universities and corporations around the world were clamoring for his attention now that word of his availability had leaked out. They all wanted a little of the McKay brilliance to shine on them and who was he to deny them when they were stuck here anyway? Jennifer was excited about going along. It was simply the best time to do this. He’d tried to get Sheppard to understand.
“You’re talking months away, McKay.” Sheppard was less than happy for him. It really wasn’t fair. “You’re going to be completely out of shape by the time you get back, unfit for gate duty.” Of course his fitness was such a major concern since he’d probably never go through the gate again. Rodney had just rolled his eyes, but apparently Sheppard wasn’t done.
“You should be here with the team.” What? Seriously? Just sitting, waiting? “You should be working to get us back home instead of stroking your own ego.” Now that was a low blow.
“My ego?” Rodney fumed. “My ego isn’t in question here, Colonel.” John’s mobile brow started its climb up his forehead. It was one of Rodney’s most accurate barometers of the Colonel’s temper. The temper that was starting to simmer closer to the surface. “You want me to stay here, doing nothing when I could be advancing science and yes, getting my name back out there. It may not matter to you, Colonel, but Stargate Command keeps most of what we do under wraps. Scientists…the people actually doing something besides shooting things…like to get some credit for all the hard work they do! In that, I am no exception!” The eyebrow was approaching critical mass, Rodney knew he’d pushed too far but was unable to stop himself from one last jab.
“I’m not your pet lackey, Sheppard! I’m valued for my work and I have the right to bask a little in the glory while we’re stuck here. How that impacts you is unclear to me but I. Do. Not. Care.” Rodney stood and collected his papers together with a snap. “I’m going. You’ve got an off-world mission. Don’t look so surprised, Sheppard. I’m still keeping track. Have fun with your new teammates while I’m gone. The SGC has my itinerary. Should you decide to…I don’t know…declare Fatwa or something, Radek will know where to find me.” With that last lob he strode from the conference room without a backwards glance.
~*~
John stared after Rodney, still breathing fire from the encounter. Now that the adrenaline buzz was fading he was a little embarrassed. Not only had he lost his prized cool rather spectacularly, he had absolutely no clue why. Rodney seemed to bring out the worst in him lately. It seemed the more time Rodney spent with Keller the more irritating the man became to Sheppard. She was obviously a bad influence.
Shaking his head to clear the lingering annoyance, John headed out to the gate room. Another jaunt off world with his shiny new team. Landry hated him. That had to be why Ronon and Teyla were helping out SG-1 and he’d ended up with most of his old team from the last time they were stuck on Earth. Fun. Such fun.
Of course it didn’t turn out to be fun at all.
*~*
“Unscheduled off world activation!” Only one team was still out. SG-4. Sheppard’s reformed team. Landry sighed. He’d hoped that pairing Dr. Babbis and Sergeant Wallace back with Sheppard would help the young Zoologist find his feet. He’d made some progress with the Colonel before. He didn’t want to wash the kid out. He was eager and a respected scientist in a difficult field. But the fact was the boy couldn’t help but blunder around damaging the others on his team. The General ran a hand over his face and wondered who was damaged this time.
“Stargate Command, this is Sheppard. Request permission to return to base.” Landry thought he sounded okay. Maybe they’d just run into some weather. He exchanged a hopeful look with Walter. “Open the iris. Bring them home.”
Walter complied and radioed for a medical team to meet them in the gate room. Just in case. Belatedly he looked up at the General seeking permission.
“Good move, Walter.” Landry shrugged. “With Babbis it’s good to be prepared for the worst.”
A moment later a muddy, disheveled and banged up team limped through the event horizon. Lieutenant Parks and Sgt. Wallace where supporting an obviously hurting Sheppard with Babbis bringing up the rear carrying the teams gear.
“I’m sorry, Colonel.” Babbis’ increasingly distressed tone could be heard in the control room. “I didn’t mean to trip you.” He struggled to keep moving down the ramp while over taxed by three extra field kits. “I’m really sor…” With a whoosh he lost his footing, rolling down the rest of the ramp, tangling his teammates up with him on the way.
Landry sighed again. “That’s going to leave some marks.” He addressed the med staff that had finally made it down to the embarkation floor. “Check on Sheppard first. He came in the most damaged, this is only going to make it worse.” Yeah. Babbis was going to have to go. He didn’t have a clue what he was going to do with him, but he wasn’t going off world again. “Let me know how badly he’s hurt.” They hurried the injured man onto a gurney and out the door.
“Walter, find the rest of his Pegasus team and let them know what happened. I don’t want to hear how I kept it from them later.”
“Yes sir.” Walter didn’t want to hear it either.
*~*
Rodney joined Teyla and Ronon in the waiting area outside the medical suite. Sheppard had been in surgery for hours and it had given Rodney time to get back to the mountain. It had also given him time to imagine all the worst-case scenarios involving annoying flyboys and their inability to keep themselves out of harms way.
“Carson says John will be well, Rodney. It merely some sort of knee injury.” Teyla laid a small but powerful hand on his arm. “He has gone to ‘scrub in’, as he says. He will monitor the Colonel’s condition for us.” She clearly took solace in Carson being with Sheppard. Grudgingly, Rodney admitted to himself that he did as well. Regardless of the fact that all medicine was no more than bone rattling and voodoo, Carson was family. He cared as much for Sheppard as they did. Rodney pulled an empty chair over to use as a footrest and fired up his laptop. It would probably be a long wait; he may as well get comfortable.
The members of Sheppard’s Earth-based team checked in with the waiting group after finishing their own after-mission checks. Babbis was still apologizing. Surprising everyone, his long-time teammate Sgt. Wallace was the first to snap.
“You already got me kicked off Sheppard’s team once, Doctor.” Babbis’ mouth snapped shut with an audible click. “Now he’s never going to let me go off world with him.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Stop apologizing!” came the combined voices of the exasperated team. Babbis sank down into his chair in a miserable huddle. No one - not even the ever-diplomatic Teyla - had the energy to try to cheer him up.
It wasn’t until nearly dawn before Carson was able to come out and tell them that John would indeed make a full recovery. The lower extremity of his femur had been pinned, the weakened knee stabilized for now; the cast would have to wait until the swelling went down.
“He faces a long recovery, I’m afraid.” Carson rubbed his hands over his arms, “He’s going to need a lot of physical therapy to regain motion once the break heals. It’s never easy to recover from joint damage.” His audience was beginning to look worried again so he hurried on. “Still, the Colonel is a remarkable man in terms of his ability to heal. He’s surpassed what we expected time and again.” Here the others were nodding along with him. “I’m sure he’ll be right as rain in no time at all.”
He was grateful that Dr. Lam came out at that moment to speak with the team. As gifted as he was at medicine, the bedside part had always been a struggle for him. Herding Parks, Wallace and Babbis away with him, Carson left the Colonel’s friends to their vigil.
It was something of a surprise when Colonel Carter joined them as well.
“Rodney? Would you spare me a minute?” She gestured to the hallway outside the infirmary. “This won’t take long.” She was only too aware of how unwilling teammates were to leave the infirmary until they could see and speak to their wounded friends.
Rodney followed her out into the hall, already knowing he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
~*~
“Carrie tells me he’s going to need help.” Carter aimed her gaze at Rodney, “He’s going to be in a lot of pain. You know Sheppard; he’s going to be ‘fine’ like always even if he’s in agony.”
“He’s not likely to accept help from anyone but one of his own. You know that better than anyone,” Dr. Lam added.
Rodney had to admit that was true. Sheppard was the most annoying man in two galaxies and never missed an opportunity to prove it.
“What do you want me to do?” He knew it was going to come down to him. Some how over the years he’d been relegated to Sheppard-wrangling and being back on Earth didn’t seem to have ended that. “It will save time if you just spell it out now so I can pretend I have a choice in the matter.”
Dr. Lam and Col. Carter exchanged that look. Rodney was well aware of that particular look. Elizebeth, Teyla, even Katie Brown had perfected it. They were going to tell him something he wouldn’t like but he was going to cooperate anyway. It was all for his own good. He hated that look.
“Once John is cleared to leave the infirmary he will be spending the next month or so with his brother in Virginia. It’s close enough to Walter Reed so he can get the rehab he needs without too much travel.”
“Are you crazy?” Rodney knew this was just a disaster waiting to happen. Sheppard was still not talking to Rodney after their argument over his lecture tour…a tour he now probably would never make. Plus? John didn’t talk about his family. At all. That said pretty clearly what he would think about spending months with them! “He’s going to go crazy in a day much less a month!”
“Exactly our thought.” Carter looked pleased. Rodney assumed that meant he’d been played. “It’s been arranged for one of his team to go with him. To keep him company and help in his care.” Sam smiled her vicious shark smile. “Teyla says you’re the one for the job.”
Rodney took several slow, deliberate breaths before speaking. “Let me get this straight. You want me to drop out of my lecture tour, the lecture tour I’ve already fought with Sheppard over, and go spend a month or more with him at his brother’s house.” Oh, Rodney knew he’d do it. That was a given. Sheppard-wrangling was his thing. He just refused to do it without complaint.
“Yes, Rodney. That’s exactly what we want!”
They didn’t doubt he’d do it either. Damn them. Now he’d have to find a way to tell Jennifer. Fun. Such fun.
And of course that didn’t turn out to be fun either.
~*~
“I think you need to examine why you’re so willing to drop everything and run off with the Colonel, Rodney.” Jennifer crossed her arms over her chest. They’d been over this a dozen times already but clearly she still wasn’t satisfied with the answers.
“I’m not ‘running off’ with him! You make it sound like a Harlequin romance moment!” Rodney rubbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Jennifer always seemed so sweet. Like Katie. But just like Katie when you stirred Sheppard into the mix Jennifer seemed to be a lot less sweet. Hmm. Rodney tabled that thought to examine at a later date. “He’s hurt. He needs my help. It’s that simple.”
It was Jennifer’s turn to sigh. She hated this. It made her look bad but she felt if she gave in now she’d be playing second fiddle to the Colonel forever more. “He does need help. I grant you that. He doesn’t however need your help.” She looked into Rodney’s eyes to see the effectiveness of her argument. “He’s got his brother, he’s got Ronon, Teyla. He doesn’t need you.” She steeled her gaze, causing Rodney to shift back from her. Who knew she was so scary? “I’m supposed to be the focus of your attention here, Rodney. The Colonel is in good hands. Leave them to take care of him.” She didn’t actually say “or else” but Rodney heard it all the same.
Why was nothing ever easy? Rodney straightened and let his eyes meet Jennifer’s. He wanted no confusion on what was coming next.
“No.”
Jennifer didn’t even look surprised. Hmm. More to ponder later. “I’m the one he’ll listen to. I’m the one that needs to be there for him.” It was surprising easy to say, even though he was pretty sure that meant he was breaking it off with Jennifer. Too easy for him to be giving her what she was entitled too. He felt worse about that than the breakup. “I’m going to Virginia with Sheppard when he’s released from the infirmary. If you need anything that’s where I’ll be.” He watched her leave the room with regret. It had been like a fairy tale. Perhaps he just wasn’t cut out to be in that kind of love affair. With a sigh he turned to his laptop. He had appearances to cancel, plans to make.
~*~
Lt. Col. John Sheppard made a spectacularly bad patient. Carrie had the reports from the Atlantis medical personnel to back up her own observations. He sulked. He refused to eat. He refused medication. He didn’t sleep. He tried to escape, for God’s sake! He was with out doubt the worst patient Carrie had ever treated. She was looking forward to making him someone else’s problem. Three more days. In three days he should be strong enough for travel.
They were going to be the longest three days of her career.
~*~
Three days. Rodney kept that running like a mantra in his head. Three days. How could anyone expect him to get everything arranged in three days? Oh, sure, the Apollo would beam them point-to-point, General Landry was handling the logistics of reading David Sheppard into the less volatile elements of the Stargate program, and Carrie Lam was arranging for visiting nursing staff and transportation to and from therapy but still…Rodney couldn’t believe they left everything to him!
Maybe he could recruit some of the lesser lights in the lab to do some of the grunt work for him. It would free up some time to consider presents for his family…and his team. Maybe he could convince Landry to send Ronon and Teyla to the unsuspecting Sheppard’s for Christmas, too. They should be together…and they should have gifts. Rodney made a mental note to call Jeannie. She would help. She liked Sheppard almost as much as Rodney did.
Cheered immeasurably by that thought, Rodney headed out for the mess. Maybe he could find some of the butterscotch pudding Sheppard was so fond of. Anything to get the irritable man to smile.
It never occurred to Rodney that it was strange that Sheppard’s depression mattered so much to him. It was just the way things were. Sheppard mattered so his happiness mattered. Rodney didn’t need to look any deeper than that.
~*~
The trip to the Sheppard estate went smoother than Rodney had thought possible. Of course Carrie had shot Sheppard full of the good drugs before the Apollo scooped them out of the infirmary but this was Sheppard and he was still the most annoying person Rodney knew. He looked across the room at the still-sleeping Colonel and decided that he had time to wander down stairs and try to find the kitchen…and coffee…before he woke. Hopefully.
~*~
John smelled coffee. It was a good indication that he wasn’t in any immediate danger. He allowed himself to stretch a little, only to remember belatedly that he was injured and movement hurt, damn it.
“Finally, you’re awake.” Rodney. That was Rodney. Rodney plus coffee plus injury equaled…infirmary?
“Open you eyes, Sheppard. You look like a blind, demented hedgehog.” John risked popping on eye open. Yep, Rodney. But not the infirmary. Instead, John found himself in the room he’d lived in for a memorable year before going to boarding school. Most of the memories weren’t ones he wanted to dwell on.
“Why am I here again?” he ventured. Rodney would know.
“We’re at your brother’s place.” Rodney looked concerned but not freaked. That was a good sign. “You’re here to recover from your adventures with Wallace and Babbis and I’m here to make sure you cooperate with the program.”
John glared at him. He did not require a baby-sitter. Just because the drugs Carrie forced on him made him a little confused…just for a minute…didn’t mean he couldn’t take care of himself!
“I’m fine.” He sent his best ‘don’t piss me off’ scowl towards Rodney to show his complete seriousness. “I don’t need a baby-sitter. Feel free to go back to Jennifer.” Not that he wanted Rodney to go but he’d burn slowly at the stake before he’d admit it.
“Of course you are.” Rodney made shooing motions at John’s scowl. “You’re always fine. That’s why I’m here.” John’s irritation level rose as Rodney made the irritating shooing motion again.
“Here are your meds, please take them.” Rodney handed him three little capsules and a glass of water. “I really don’t want to know what that knee would feel like without them.”
John set the pills and water down on the nightstand, pulling stitches and broken bones while he was at it. Panting a little against the fresh wash of pain, he tried the glare again. “I said I was fine, Rodney.” He hated fuss. He hated the way he felt on pain meds. He hated being injured and helpless. Most of all he hated needing someone to wait on him. He knew he was being petty, mean and an all around ass hole but he didn’t care. He wanted to be home on Atlantis, not here on Earth. Definitely not here in his father’s -now brothers - house.
Rodney sighed. John also hated Rodney. He was ready to tell him that when Rodney stood and walked to the bedroom door.
“I’ll come check on you in a little while, Sheppard.” He sighed again. “Try to be sensible…just for this one little moment in time. Take your drugs and get better so we can all get on with our lives.”
Ouch. Well, that made it clear that this wasn’t Rodney’s idea. Not that John had thought it was.
”I said you were free to go, McKay!” John shouted. He hurled the glass towards Rodney with more force than he’d intended. “Go. Go wherever you want to go!”
Now that the initial hurt and anger had passed John was more than a little embarrassed by his outburst. The outbursts that kept happening between them lately. No doubt Rodney’s infatuation with Keller was warping his brain.
Rodney just stared at him as though he’d morphed into a Wraith before his very eyes.
Rodney picked up the pieces of broken glass, dropping them into the bedside trashcan. “I’ll send someone…they must have several someones…to vacuum up the bits.” He gestured to the glittering fragments of glass in the carpet. “Try not to assault them when they come in, okay?” With that, he opened the door and left without once looking at John.
John should have been happy to get the best of the annoying scientist. He really should be counting this as a victory. Instead, he felt terrible and just wanted Rodney to come back so he could try to apologize.
~*~
Rodney knew that John was reacting more to the lingering affects of drugs and pain more than any anger at him but it had been a surprise to see him send the glass flying. He was glad the Colonel’s aim was off or he’d probably have a concussion right now. He needed his brain!
He’d give him a few minutes to cool off. He knew John well enough to know that he wasn’t proud of himself right now. They’d be okay. He didn’t dare wait too long before going back up to him, though. It wouldn’t do to let his pain get out of hand.
Sheppard was lucky he was here to care for him. The stubborn mule just didn’t want to admit it.
Rodney went in search of family. He had questions about John that he now had the opportunity to satisfy. Plus? He needed to break the news that there would be unexpected guests coming to their Holiday festivities. He wondered if he should tell someone that Jeannie was vegetarian? He headed towards the sounds of family still trying to decide if that was important.
~*~
By the time John heard Rodney’s tread on the landing outside his room he was regretting not just the glass incident but the refusal of meds as well. His knee was like a living fire attached to his leg. He’d been shot, stabbed, nearly disemboweled by a freaky Wraith tentacle and yet he’d never hurt like this! If necessary he’d offer to suck dick to get drugs now.
~*~
Rodney poked his head into the room, getting a feel for the mood of its occupant.
“More human, Sheppard?” He hazarded a small smile. “You look like crap.”
The “someones” that Rodney had sent had included a maid, a nurse and two burly nursing assistants to handle his bathing and bathroom needs. Embarrassing though it had been he felt better for it…except for the lack of drugs thing. He’d refused the nurses offer of them, too. He felt pretty dumb about that.
“Sorry about that whole throwing the glass at your head thing, Rodney.” Sheppard ran a hand over his wildly conflicted hair. “I’m not sure what came over me there.”
“Hmm.” Rodney walked towards the bed, pulling a chair over so they could talk without Sheppard straining to look up at him. “Injury, surgery, transport, no drugs, disorientation…no. No reason at all for you to be out-of-sorts.” Rodney smiled at him. “Forgiven.” At John’s answering smile he couldn’t help but add, “this time.”
“I’ve had a productive afternoon while you sulked in teenaged splendor.” Rodney took the replaced water glass into the bathroom to dump out the warm water. “You have wonderfully informative family members you know. Filled with stories of your adolescent angst.” John looked a little concerned.
“A mullet, Sheppard? Seriously? With those cowlicks?” Rodney smiled again while searching through the medicine bottles. “The pictures have already been emailed so don’t try to wiggle your way out of talking about them later when everyone else gets here.”
Everyone else? Mullet?
His confusion seemed to amuse Rodney further. “Ronon, Teyla, Jeannie, Madison…even Caleb are coming. Ronon and Teyla tonight and the rest for Christmas day. Landry arranged it.” He paused there, looking pensive. “Kind of surprising, actually. I didn’t think he liked you all that much.”
John didn’t either. But he wasn’t going to argue about seeing his team. Yeah, even Caleb.
“Your nieces think you’re hot, by the way.” Rodney’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he was amused. It was a good look on him. So intent was he on that realization that Rodney’s words didn’t immediately sink in.
“Say what now?”
“They’re tweens, Sheppard. It’s not their fault.” His lines deepened when he laughed. John liked how that looked, too. “You’ll live through it. Most likely before you leave they’ll have decided that you’re old and hopelessly dull.” Rodney reached over to select the proper meds for John. “That’s what kids do.”
As much as John wanted the relief that those pills promised he hated how they made him feel…and the way they knocked him out. He shook his head at the offered medication, much to Rodney’s annoyance.
“Look. I don’t know why you won’t take your drugs like a good little Air Force minion. I do however know you somehow blamed me for Babbis’ inability to learn spatial relationships. Even for you that makes no sense. You seem to forget, Sheppard; I’m an Astrophysicist, not a Zoologist! Even if I’d been with you, and believe me I wish I had been, Babbis would still have been there, too. You’d still have a broken leg and you’d still be stuck at your brothers for Christmas!”
Rodney pointed The Finger of Doom at John. “It’s time to get over yourself.” With that he poured fresh, cool water into Sheppard’s glass, measured out his pills, plumped his pillows and handed him his book. John was rendered speechless. He meekly swallowed the meds and handed the glass back to Rodney. It seemed to placate the irate scientist. Thank God.
“Now. If you’re over your dramatic moment, Sheppard, you should get some rest. It’s Christmas Eve. I understand your sister-in-law has a small soiree planned to welcome their first Alien Visitors” The air quotes were audible.
Sheppard’s eyebrow clearly asked “Did you really say soiree?”
“Oh, grow up, Colonel. It’s a perfectly good word.” No one was more fluent in Sheppard’s trash-talking eyebrow language than Rodney. He flicked Sheppard’s blanket to more adequately cover his feet. Sheppard’s feet were always cold.
“As I was saying. Your sister-in-law has plans. I have it on good authority that those plans include plum pudding. Trust me when I say that you will not wish to face that without adequate rest.” He refilled the water glass and placed it where Sheppard could reach it without strain. “I’ll wake you in time to clean up.”
John stared at the closed door for long minutes after Rodney had left him alone. He still wasn’t sure what had just happened. One minute he was filled with righteous fury over being dumped in Virginia and the next moment he’d been tucked in…hell, everything but kissed good night…by Rodney McKay. John swallowed his surprise on realizing he sort of wished Rodney had included that kiss.
His vision was blurry and he knew the pills would pull him under soon. Rodney’d promised to wake him later. Maybe then he’d work on getting that kiss. That sounded like it might be kind of fun.
And of course it turned out to be so much more.
Title: Home for the Holidays
Recipient: pir8fancier, who requested slash, mcshep, Christmas presents, plum pudding and broken legs. Some of that you may have to squint for.
Author: Rabidfan
Warnings/Ratings/Word count: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. If I did they’d be better cared for. This is about PG I suppose. PG-13 if you’re particularly squeamish. It clocks in at nearly 5,000 words. That’s a lot of words to say next to nothing! I sort of feel like Seinfeld!
Spoilers: Some discussion of season three’s “The Return” and obvious allusions to post “Enemy at the Gate” of season five. Mostly so AU you’d have a hard time noticing.
Summary: “Should you decide to…I don’t know…declare Fatwa or something, Radek will know where to find me.”
With the city stuck on Earth and most of the extraneous personnel still in Pegasus there really wasn’t much to do. Rodney had considered…at least for a few minutes…well, maybe just one…joining the Colonel, Teyla and Ronon while they “helped” assorted SG teams in their travels through the galaxy. But frankly, once you’ve faced the Wraith? Nothing that any of the pissants in the Milky Way had to offer was very interesting. No thanks. He’d turned his attention elsewhere. Places it was more profitably put to use.
“I hear you’re going on a lecture circuit with Jennifer.” Sheppard’s tone wasn’t at all friendly.
“Yes,” Rodney beamed at him, missing completely the narrowed expression and the twitching eyebrows. “You’ll have to live without me for a few months, Colonel. I’m not going to be here to bail out your collective asses! I’m off to be appreciated the way I should be!” Possibly that came out a little more pompous than he intended. Still, the premise was true. They weren’t heading back to Pegasus any time soon, maybe forever. It was time to think about repositioning himself in the scientific community. Sheppard was back working with the SGC, Teyla and Ronon were waiting for a ride home. What was Rodney supposed to do?
Sheppard grabbed Rodney’s arm and muscled him into the empty conference room, sending him towards the chairs with a shove that had his papers flying across the table.
“What the hell is your problem, Sheppard? Just because you’re stuck with Babbis and Wallace for the duration doesn’t make any of this my problem!” He pulled back from Sheppard’s grip. “I’ve got a future that doesn’t involve the Wraith for a change. Don’t you see that?”
As soon as the words left his mouth Rodney regretted them. He didn’t really want to cut himself off from his friends. From his team. From Sheppard. He ached at the idea of not being in the here and now with them. With him. But life had to move ahead, didn’t it? Wasn’t the whole crux of the problem? They were here, on Earth. Oh, they’d send Teyla and Ronon home with the Daedalus once a decision was announced, but it was clear the IOA wanted Atlantis on Earth.
One Wraith attack and the whole ruling structure fell apart like emotionally challenged teenaged girls.
He’d tried again to explain it to Sheppard. They were here. He could finally do the grand lecture tour he so deserved. Major universities and corporations around the world were clamoring for his attention now that word of his availability had leaked out. They all wanted a little of the McKay brilliance to shine on them and who was he to deny them when they were stuck here anyway? Jennifer was excited about going along. It was simply the best time to do this. He’d tried to get Sheppard to understand.
“You’re talking months away, McKay.” Sheppard was less than happy for him. It really wasn’t fair. “You’re going to be completely out of shape by the time you get back, unfit for gate duty.” Of course his fitness was such a major concern since he’d probably never go through the gate again. Rodney had just rolled his eyes, but apparently Sheppard wasn’t done.
“You should be here with the team.” What? Seriously? Just sitting, waiting? “You should be working to get us back home instead of stroking your own ego.” Now that was a low blow.
“My ego?” Rodney fumed. “My ego isn’t in question here, Colonel.” John’s mobile brow started its climb up his forehead. It was one of Rodney’s most accurate barometers of the Colonel’s temper. The temper that was starting to simmer closer to the surface. “You want me to stay here, doing nothing when I could be advancing science and yes, getting my name back out there. It may not matter to you, Colonel, but Stargate Command keeps most of what we do under wraps. Scientists…the people actually doing something besides shooting things…like to get some credit for all the hard work they do! In that, I am no exception!” The eyebrow was approaching critical mass, Rodney knew he’d pushed too far but was unable to stop himself from one last jab.
“I’m not your pet lackey, Sheppard! I’m valued for my work and I have the right to bask a little in the glory while we’re stuck here. How that impacts you is unclear to me but I. Do. Not. Care.” Rodney stood and collected his papers together with a snap. “I’m going. You’ve got an off-world mission. Don’t look so surprised, Sheppard. I’m still keeping track. Have fun with your new teammates while I’m gone. The SGC has my itinerary. Should you decide to…I don’t know…declare Fatwa or something, Radek will know where to find me.” With that last lob he strode from the conference room without a backwards glance.
~*~
John stared after Rodney, still breathing fire from the encounter. Now that the adrenaline buzz was fading he was a little embarrassed. Not only had he lost his prized cool rather spectacularly, he had absolutely no clue why. Rodney seemed to bring out the worst in him lately. It seemed the more time Rodney spent with Keller the more irritating the man became to Sheppard. She was obviously a bad influence.
Shaking his head to clear the lingering annoyance, John headed out to the gate room. Another jaunt off world with his shiny new team. Landry hated him. That had to be why Ronon and Teyla were helping out SG-1 and he’d ended up with most of his old team from the last time they were stuck on Earth. Fun. Such fun.
Of course it didn’t turn out to be fun at all.
*~*
“Unscheduled off world activation!” Only one team was still out. SG-4. Sheppard’s reformed team. Landry sighed. He’d hoped that pairing Dr. Babbis and Sergeant Wallace back with Sheppard would help the young Zoologist find his feet. He’d made some progress with the Colonel before. He didn’t want to wash the kid out. He was eager and a respected scientist in a difficult field. But the fact was the boy couldn’t help but blunder around damaging the others on his team. The General ran a hand over his face and wondered who was damaged this time.
“Stargate Command, this is Sheppard. Request permission to return to base.” Landry thought he sounded okay. Maybe they’d just run into some weather. He exchanged a hopeful look with Walter. “Open the iris. Bring them home.”
Walter complied and radioed for a medical team to meet them in the gate room. Just in case. Belatedly he looked up at the General seeking permission.
“Good move, Walter.” Landry shrugged. “With Babbis it’s good to be prepared for the worst.”
A moment later a muddy, disheveled and banged up team limped through the event horizon. Lieutenant Parks and Sgt. Wallace where supporting an obviously hurting Sheppard with Babbis bringing up the rear carrying the teams gear.
“I’m sorry, Colonel.” Babbis’ increasingly distressed tone could be heard in the control room. “I didn’t mean to trip you.” He struggled to keep moving down the ramp while over taxed by three extra field kits. “I’m really sor…” With a whoosh he lost his footing, rolling down the rest of the ramp, tangling his teammates up with him on the way.
Landry sighed again. “That’s going to leave some marks.” He addressed the med staff that had finally made it down to the embarkation floor. “Check on Sheppard first. He came in the most damaged, this is only going to make it worse.” Yeah. Babbis was going to have to go. He didn’t have a clue what he was going to do with him, but he wasn’t going off world again. “Let me know how badly he’s hurt.” They hurried the injured man onto a gurney and out the door.
“Walter, find the rest of his Pegasus team and let them know what happened. I don’t want to hear how I kept it from them later.”
“Yes sir.” Walter didn’t want to hear it either.
*~*
Rodney joined Teyla and Ronon in the waiting area outside the medical suite. Sheppard had been in surgery for hours and it had given Rodney time to get back to the mountain. It had also given him time to imagine all the worst-case scenarios involving annoying flyboys and their inability to keep themselves out of harms way.
“Carson says John will be well, Rodney. It merely some sort of knee injury.” Teyla laid a small but powerful hand on his arm. “He has gone to ‘scrub in’, as he says. He will monitor the Colonel’s condition for us.” She clearly took solace in Carson being with Sheppard. Grudgingly, Rodney admitted to himself that he did as well. Regardless of the fact that all medicine was no more than bone rattling and voodoo, Carson was family. He cared as much for Sheppard as they did. Rodney pulled an empty chair over to use as a footrest and fired up his laptop. It would probably be a long wait; he may as well get comfortable.
The members of Sheppard’s Earth-based team checked in with the waiting group after finishing their own after-mission checks. Babbis was still apologizing. Surprising everyone, his long-time teammate Sgt. Wallace was the first to snap.
“You already got me kicked off Sheppard’s team once, Doctor.” Babbis’ mouth snapped shut with an audible click. “Now he’s never going to let me go off world with him.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Stop apologizing!” came the combined voices of the exasperated team. Babbis sank down into his chair in a miserable huddle. No one - not even the ever-diplomatic Teyla - had the energy to try to cheer him up.
It wasn’t until nearly dawn before Carson was able to come out and tell them that John would indeed make a full recovery. The lower extremity of his femur had been pinned, the weakened knee stabilized for now; the cast would have to wait until the swelling went down.
“He faces a long recovery, I’m afraid.” Carson rubbed his hands over his arms, “He’s going to need a lot of physical therapy to regain motion once the break heals. It’s never easy to recover from joint damage.” His audience was beginning to look worried again so he hurried on. “Still, the Colonel is a remarkable man in terms of his ability to heal. He’s surpassed what we expected time and again.” Here the others were nodding along with him. “I’m sure he’ll be right as rain in no time at all.”
He was grateful that Dr. Lam came out at that moment to speak with the team. As gifted as he was at medicine, the bedside part had always been a struggle for him. Herding Parks, Wallace and Babbis away with him, Carson left the Colonel’s friends to their vigil.
It was something of a surprise when Colonel Carter joined them as well.
“Rodney? Would you spare me a minute?” She gestured to the hallway outside the infirmary. “This won’t take long.” She was only too aware of how unwilling teammates were to leave the infirmary until they could see and speak to their wounded friends.
Rodney followed her out into the hall, already knowing he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
~*~
“Carrie tells me he’s going to need help.” Carter aimed her gaze at Rodney, “He’s going to be in a lot of pain. You know Sheppard; he’s going to be ‘fine’ like always even if he’s in agony.”
“He’s not likely to accept help from anyone but one of his own. You know that better than anyone,” Dr. Lam added.
Rodney had to admit that was true. Sheppard was the most annoying man in two galaxies and never missed an opportunity to prove it.
“What do you want me to do?” He knew it was going to come down to him. Some how over the years he’d been relegated to Sheppard-wrangling and being back on Earth didn’t seem to have ended that. “It will save time if you just spell it out now so I can pretend I have a choice in the matter.”
Dr. Lam and Col. Carter exchanged that look. Rodney was well aware of that particular look. Elizebeth, Teyla, even Katie Brown had perfected it. They were going to tell him something he wouldn’t like but he was going to cooperate anyway. It was all for his own good. He hated that look.
“Once John is cleared to leave the infirmary he will be spending the next month or so with his brother in Virginia. It’s close enough to Walter Reed so he can get the rehab he needs without too much travel.”
“Are you crazy?” Rodney knew this was just a disaster waiting to happen. Sheppard was still not talking to Rodney after their argument over his lecture tour…a tour he now probably would never make. Plus? John didn’t talk about his family. At all. That said pretty clearly what he would think about spending months with them! “He’s going to go crazy in a day much less a month!”
“Exactly our thought.” Carter looked pleased. Rodney assumed that meant he’d been played. “It’s been arranged for one of his team to go with him. To keep him company and help in his care.” Sam smiled her vicious shark smile. “Teyla says you’re the one for the job.”
Rodney took several slow, deliberate breaths before speaking. “Let me get this straight. You want me to drop out of my lecture tour, the lecture tour I’ve already fought with Sheppard over, and go spend a month or more with him at his brother’s house.” Oh, Rodney knew he’d do it. That was a given. Sheppard-wrangling was his thing. He just refused to do it without complaint.
“Yes, Rodney. That’s exactly what we want!”
They didn’t doubt he’d do it either. Damn them. Now he’d have to find a way to tell Jennifer. Fun. Such fun.
And of course that didn’t turn out to be fun either.
~*~
“I think you need to examine why you’re so willing to drop everything and run off with the Colonel, Rodney.” Jennifer crossed her arms over her chest. They’d been over this a dozen times already but clearly she still wasn’t satisfied with the answers.
“I’m not ‘running off’ with him! You make it sound like a Harlequin romance moment!” Rodney rubbed the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Jennifer always seemed so sweet. Like Katie. But just like Katie when you stirred Sheppard into the mix Jennifer seemed to be a lot less sweet. Hmm. Rodney tabled that thought to examine at a later date. “He’s hurt. He needs my help. It’s that simple.”
It was Jennifer’s turn to sigh. She hated this. It made her look bad but she felt if she gave in now she’d be playing second fiddle to the Colonel forever more. “He does need help. I grant you that. He doesn’t however need your help.” She looked into Rodney’s eyes to see the effectiveness of her argument. “He’s got his brother, he’s got Ronon, Teyla. He doesn’t need you.” She steeled her gaze, causing Rodney to shift back from her. Who knew she was so scary? “I’m supposed to be the focus of your attention here, Rodney. The Colonel is in good hands. Leave them to take care of him.” She didn’t actually say “or else” but Rodney heard it all the same.
Why was nothing ever easy? Rodney straightened and let his eyes meet Jennifer’s. He wanted no confusion on what was coming next.
“No.”
Jennifer didn’t even look surprised. Hmm. More to ponder later. “I’m the one he’ll listen to. I’m the one that needs to be there for him.” It was surprising easy to say, even though he was pretty sure that meant he was breaking it off with Jennifer. Too easy for him to be giving her what she was entitled too. He felt worse about that than the breakup. “I’m going to Virginia with Sheppard when he’s released from the infirmary. If you need anything that’s where I’ll be.” He watched her leave the room with regret. It had been like a fairy tale. Perhaps he just wasn’t cut out to be in that kind of love affair. With a sigh he turned to his laptop. He had appearances to cancel, plans to make.
~*~
Lt. Col. John Sheppard made a spectacularly bad patient. Carrie had the reports from the Atlantis medical personnel to back up her own observations. He sulked. He refused to eat. He refused medication. He didn’t sleep. He tried to escape, for God’s sake! He was with out doubt the worst patient Carrie had ever treated. She was looking forward to making him someone else’s problem. Three more days. In three days he should be strong enough for travel.
They were going to be the longest three days of her career.
~*~
Three days. Rodney kept that running like a mantra in his head. Three days. How could anyone expect him to get everything arranged in three days? Oh, sure, the Apollo would beam them point-to-point, General Landry was handling the logistics of reading David Sheppard into the less volatile elements of the Stargate program, and Carrie Lam was arranging for visiting nursing staff and transportation to and from therapy but still…Rodney couldn’t believe they left everything to him!
Maybe he could recruit some of the lesser lights in the lab to do some of the grunt work for him. It would free up some time to consider presents for his family…and his team. Maybe he could convince Landry to send Ronon and Teyla to the unsuspecting Sheppard’s for Christmas, too. They should be together…and they should have gifts. Rodney made a mental note to call Jeannie. She would help. She liked Sheppard almost as much as Rodney did.
Cheered immeasurably by that thought, Rodney headed out for the mess. Maybe he could find some of the butterscotch pudding Sheppard was so fond of. Anything to get the irritable man to smile.
It never occurred to Rodney that it was strange that Sheppard’s depression mattered so much to him. It was just the way things were. Sheppard mattered so his happiness mattered. Rodney didn’t need to look any deeper than that.
~*~
The trip to the Sheppard estate went smoother than Rodney had thought possible. Of course Carrie had shot Sheppard full of the good drugs before the Apollo scooped them out of the infirmary but this was Sheppard and he was still the most annoying person Rodney knew. He looked across the room at the still-sleeping Colonel and decided that he had time to wander down stairs and try to find the kitchen…and coffee…before he woke. Hopefully.
~*~
John smelled coffee. It was a good indication that he wasn’t in any immediate danger. He allowed himself to stretch a little, only to remember belatedly that he was injured and movement hurt, damn it.
“Finally, you’re awake.” Rodney. That was Rodney. Rodney plus coffee plus injury equaled…infirmary?
“Open you eyes, Sheppard. You look like a blind, demented hedgehog.” John risked popping on eye open. Yep, Rodney. But not the infirmary. Instead, John found himself in the room he’d lived in for a memorable year before going to boarding school. Most of the memories weren’t ones he wanted to dwell on.
“Why am I here again?” he ventured. Rodney would know.
“We’re at your brother’s place.” Rodney looked concerned but not freaked. That was a good sign. “You’re here to recover from your adventures with Wallace and Babbis and I’m here to make sure you cooperate with the program.”
John glared at him. He did not require a baby-sitter. Just because the drugs Carrie forced on him made him a little confused…just for a minute…didn’t mean he couldn’t take care of himself!
“I’m fine.” He sent his best ‘don’t piss me off’ scowl towards Rodney to show his complete seriousness. “I don’t need a baby-sitter. Feel free to go back to Jennifer.” Not that he wanted Rodney to go but he’d burn slowly at the stake before he’d admit it.
“Of course you are.” Rodney made shooing motions at John’s scowl. “You’re always fine. That’s why I’m here.” John’s irritation level rose as Rodney made the irritating shooing motion again.
“Here are your meds, please take them.” Rodney handed him three little capsules and a glass of water. “I really don’t want to know what that knee would feel like without them.”
John set the pills and water down on the nightstand, pulling stitches and broken bones while he was at it. Panting a little against the fresh wash of pain, he tried the glare again. “I said I was fine, Rodney.” He hated fuss. He hated the way he felt on pain meds. He hated being injured and helpless. Most of all he hated needing someone to wait on him. He knew he was being petty, mean and an all around ass hole but he didn’t care. He wanted to be home on Atlantis, not here on Earth. Definitely not here in his father’s -now brothers - house.
Rodney sighed. John also hated Rodney. He was ready to tell him that when Rodney stood and walked to the bedroom door.
“I’ll come check on you in a little while, Sheppard.” He sighed again. “Try to be sensible…just for this one little moment in time. Take your drugs and get better so we can all get on with our lives.”
Ouch. Well, that made it clear that this wasn’t Rodney’s idea. Not that John had thought it was.
”I said you were free to go, McKay!” John shouted. He hurled the glass towards Rodney with more force than he’d intended. “Go. Go wherever you want to go!”
Now that the initial hurt and anger had passed John was more than a little embarrassed by his outburst. The outbursts that kept happening between them lately. No doubt Rodney’s infatuation with Keller was warping his brain.
Rodney just stared at him as though he’d morphed into a Wraith before his very eyes.
Rodney picked up the pieces of broken glass, dropping them into the bedside trashcan. “I’ll send someone…they must have several someones…to vacuum up the bits.” He gestured to the glittering fragments of glass in the carpet. “Try not to assault them when they come in, okay?” With that, he opened the door and left without once looking at John.
John should have been happy to get the best of the annoying scientist. He really should be counting this as a victory. Instead, he felt terrible and just wanted Rodney to come back so he could try to apologize.
~*~
Rodney knew that John was reacting more to the lingering affects of drugs and pain more than any anger at him but it had been a surprise to see him send the glass flying. He was glad the Colonel’s aim was off or he’d probably have a concussion right now. He needed his brain!
He’d give him a few minutes to cool off. He knew John well enough to know that he wasn’t proud of himself right now. They’d be okay. He didn’t dare wait too long before going back up to him, though. It wouldn’t do to let his pain get out of hand.
Sheppard was lucky he was here to care for him. The stubborn mule just didn’t want to admit it.
Rodney went in search of family. He had questions about John that he now had the opportunity to satisfy. Plus? He needed to break the news that there would be unexpected guests coming to their Holiday festivities. He wondered if he should tell someone that Jeannie was vegetarian? He headed towards the sounds of family still trying to decide if that was important.
~*~
By the time John heard Rodney’s tread on the landing outside his room he was regretting not just the glass incident but the refusal of meds as well. His knee was like a living fire attached to his leg. He’d been shot, stabbed, nearly disemboweled by a freaky Wraith tentacle and yet he’d never hurt like this! If necessary he’d offer to suck dick to get drugs now.
~*~
Rodney poked his head into the room, getting a feel for the mood of its occupant.
“More human, Sheppard?” He hazarded a small smile. “You look like crap.”
The “someones” that Rodney had sent had included a maid, a nurse and two burly nursing assistants to handle his bathing and bathroom needs. Embarrassing though it had been he felt better for it…except for the lack of drugs thing. He’d refused the nurses offer of them, too. He felt pretty dumb about that.
“Sorry about that whole throwing the glass at your head thing, Rodney.” Sheppard ran a hand over his wildly conflicted hair. “I’m not sure what came over me there.”
“Hmm.” Rodney walked towards the bed, pulling a chair over so they could talk without Sheppard straining to look up at him. “Injury, surgery, transport, no drugs, disorientation…no. No reason at all for you to be out-of-sorts.” Rodney smiled at him. “Forgiven.” At John’s answering smile he couldn’t help but add, “this time.”
“I’ve had a productive afternoon while you sulked in teenaged splendor.” Rodney took the replaced water glass into the bathroom to dump out the warm water. “You have wonderfully informative family members you know. Filled with stories of your adolescent angst.” John looked a little concerned.
“A mullet, Sheppard? Seriously? With those cowlicks?” Rodney smiled again while searching through the medicine bottles. “The pictures have already been emailed so don’t try to wiggle your way out of talking about them later when everyone else gets here.”
Everyone else? Mullet?
His confusion seemed to amuse Rodney further. “Ronon, Teyla, Jeannie, Madison…even Caleb are coming. Ronon and Teyla tonight and the rest for Christmas day. Landry arranged it.” He paused there, looking pensive. “Kind of surprising, actually. I didn’t think he liked you all that much.”
John didn’t either. But he wasn’t going to argue about seeing his team. Yeah, even Caleb.
“Your nieces think you’re hot, by the way.” Rodney’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he was amused. It was a good look on him. So intent was he on that realization that Rodney’s words didn’t immediately sink in.
“Say what now?”
“They’re tweens, Sheppard. It’s not their fault.” His lines deepened when he laughed. John liked how that looked, too. “You’ll live through it. Most likely before you leave they’ll have decided that you’re old and hopelessly dull.” Rodney reached over to select the proper meds for John. “That’s what kids do.”
As much as John wanted the relief that those pills promised he hated how they made him feel…and the way they knocked him out. He shook his head at the offered medication, much to Rodney’s annoyance.
“Look. I don’t know why you won’t take your drugs like a good little Air Force minion. I do however know you somehow blamed me for Babbis’ inability to learn spatial relationships. Even for you that makes no sense. You seem to forget, Sheppard; I’m an Astrophysicist, not a Zoologist! Even if I’d been with you, and believe me I wish I had been, Babbis would still have been there, too. You’d still have a broken leg and you’d still be stuck at your brothers for Christmas!”
Rodney pointed The Finger of Doom at John. “It’s time to get over yourself.” With that he poured fresh, cool water into Sheppard’s glass, measured out his pills, plumped his pillows and handed him his book. John was rendered speechless. He meekly swallowed the meds and handed the glass back to Rodney. It seemed to placate the irate scientist. Thank God.
“Now. If you’re over your dramatic moment, Sheppard, you should get some rest. It’s Christmas Eve. I understand your sister-in-law has a small soiree planned to welcome their first Alien Visitors” The air quotes were audible.
Sheppard’s eyebrow clearly asked “Did you really say soiree?”
“Oh, grow up, Colonel. It’s a perfectly good word.” No one was more fluent in Sheppard’s trash-talking eyebrow language than Rodney. He flicked Sheppard’s blanket to more adequately cover his feet. Sheppard’s feet were always cold.
“As I was saying. Your sister-in-law has plans. I have it on good authority that those plans include plum pudding. Trust me when I say that you will not wish to face that without adequate rest.” He refilled the water glass and placed it where Sheppard could reach it without strain. “I’ll wake you in time to clean up.”
John stared at the closed door for long minutes after Rodney had left him alone. He still wasn’t sure what had just happened. One minute he was filled with righteous fury over being dumped in Virginia and the next moment he’d been tucked in…hell, everything but kissed good night…by Rodney McKay. John swallowed his surprise on realizing he sort of wished Rodney had included that kiss.
His vision was blurry and he knew the pills would pull him under soon. Rodney’d promised to wake him later. Maybe then he’d work on getting that kiss. That sounded like it might be kind of fun.
And of course it turned out to be so much more.