you say love is a hell you cannot bear i say GIVE ME MINE BACK AND GO THERE for all i care
what a week. honestly. the last home men's soccer game was last tuesday and it was cold but i snuggled with some beautiful people and i got to hear the master of the earlham college cheerleaders for the last time (the main reason i go to the games) and i saw beautiful kevin play for what might be my last time. it was nice.
i'm thinking about not being an RA next semester. there are too many people on my floor and in my building who are using me as their oncall therapist and it's taking its toll on me. i got back from a long night in the library on thursday and there was a list of people who needed to talk to me hanging up on my door. someone put a SIGN UP SHEET on my door. can i have my life back, please? i feel like i've taken on so many emotions for other people and i'm now very disconnected from my own feelings. i've also started ranking the severity of the problems on my floor and that's really unfair of me to do, to place my own experiences, perceptions and projections on another person's reality.
lizzy said that she would love for me to be her roommate in Peace House next semester but i'm struggling with that. i have friends in this building. Jon lives right down the hall from me and Will's room is diagonal from mine. Phil lives right downstairs and Xander lives in my building. Peace House isn't especially close to this building but saying that reminds me how spoiled i am by this tiny tiny tiny campus. i know that i couldn't live in a dorm building without being an RA, i couldn't do it without stepping on the toes of the RA by enforcing quiet hours, taking care of drunk people, offering to mediate roommate conflicts, offering to be available at all times for any sort of problem. my RA would hate me! Peace House could be great, lizzy is a beauiful woman, having a female friend could be a nice change even though MY FORMER ONES HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT BREAK MY HEART. it's really not as big of a decision as i'm making it.
i think it's just easier for me to talk about soccer games and sign up sheets than it is for me to talk about what has happened, what i've gained and lost, where my mind and my heart have been.
there will be tables and chairs there will be pony rides and dancing bears there'll even be a band cause listen, after the fall there will be no more countries
no currencies at all, we're gonna live on our wits we're gonna THROW AWAY our survival kits
i'm thinking about not being an RA next semester. there are too many people on my floor and in my building who are using me as their oncall therapist and it's taking its toll on me. i got back from a long night in the library on thursday and there was a list of people who needed to talk to me hanging up on my door. someone put a SIGN UP SHEET on my door. can i have my life back, please? i feel like i've taken on so many emotions for other people and i'm now very disconnected from my own feelings. i've also started ranking the severity of the problems on my floor and that's really unfair of me to do, to place my own experiences, perceptions and projections on another person's reality.
lizzy said that she would love for me to be her roommate in Peace House next semester but i'm struggling with that. i have friends in this building. Jon lives right down the hall from me and Will's room is diagonal from mine. Phil lives right downstairs and Xander lives in my building. Peace House isn't especially close to this building but saying that reminds me how spoiled i am by this tiny tiny tiny campus. i know that i couldn't live in a dorm building without being an RA, i couldn't do it without stepping on the toes of the RA by enforcing quiet hours, taking care of drunk people, offering to mediate roommate conflicts, offering to be available at all times for any sort of problem. my RA would hate me! Peace House could be great, lizzy is a beauiful woman, having a female friend could be a nice change even though MY FORMER ONES HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT BREAK MY HEART. it's really not as big of a decision as i'm making it.
i think it's just easier for me to talk about soccer games and sign up sheets than it is for me to talk about what has happened, what i've gained and lost, where my mind and my heart have been.
there will be tables and chairs there will be pony rides and dancing bears there'll even be a band cause listen, after the fall there will be no more countries
no currencies at all, we're gonna live on our wits we're gonna THROW AWAY our survival kits