(no subject)
I can't stop thinking about you.
EDIT
My original post didn't say enough. Here is some further insight.
Sunday morning was a terrible time. The first observed fight between my parents and me. 3rd person perspective only affirms my past views about my parents - that they actually don't like me. I'm not going to say hate because i don't think that is the case. I'm not going to say they don't love me because i think in the thinnest sense of the word (they definitely feel some sort of societal obligation to "care" for me) they do - only insofar as i have their name they "care" for me. People think it's not that bad but they don't know. They hear about it and think it's half truth and half joke, while in reality it is in no way a joke. i have a witness now.
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Fast forward to later in the day. I speak no substantive words to my parents all day and then hang out. I knew i liked her and the night didn't really change too much; however, it was a nice feeling of nostalgia of senior year where i was naive and confused...what a good time.
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Now it is monday morning and i get picked up. I leave my house with almost no words and leave unfinished laundry because i just want to leave. The rest of the day not only took my mind off my situation with my parents; it was the best day since college started. No, nothing really monumental happened. I didn't win anything, i didn't get an A on a test or any trivial bullshit like that. I just hung out. That's it. Granted it was a little more than that, but that's beside the point. I don't know how you do it. I don't know if you like me or not, but what i am about to say is the absolute truth and i hope you hear or read it at some point no matter how things work out....
You are the only person who can make me feel loved in such a way that my parents lack of it didn't bother me.
That sounds really eerie and i know. I'm not saying you love me, i'm not saying that you even mean to. But that's the effect you have on me. I can't describe in words why. I can't even describe at all why. That is why i am crazy for you. You are the only one who has ever done this. I know my odds are stacked against me but i don't care.
I can't stop thinking about you.
EDIT
My original post didn't say enough. Here is some further insight.
Sunday morning was a terrible time. The first observed fight between my parents and me. 3rd person perspective only affirms my past views about my parents - that they actually don't like me. I'm not going to say hate because i don't think that is the case. I'm not going to say they don't love me because i think in the thinnest sense of the word (they definitely feel some sort of societal obligation to "care" for me) they do - only insofar as i have their name they "care" for me. People think it's not that bad but they don't know. They hear about it and think it's half truth and half joke, while in reality it is in no way a joke. i have a witness now.
-----------------
Fast forward to later in the day. I speak no substantive words to my parents all day and then hang out. I knew i liked her and the night didn't really change too much; however, it was a nice feeling of nostalgia of senior year where i was naive and confused...what a good time.
-----------------
Now it is monday morning and i get picked up. I leave my house with almost no words and leave unfinished laundry because i just want to leave. The rest of the day not only took my mind off my situation with my parents; it was the best day since college started. No, nothing really monumental happened. I didn't win anything, i didn't get an A on a test or any trivial bullshit like that. I just hung out. That's it. Granted it was a little more than that, but that's beside the point. I don't know how you do it. I don't know if you like me or not, but what i am about to say is the absolute truth and i hope you hear or read it at some point no matter how things work out....
You are the only person who can make me feel loved in such a way that my parents lack of it didn't bother me.
That sounds really eerie and i know. I'm not saying you love me, i'm not saying that you even mean to. But that's the effect you have on me. I can't describe in words why. I can't even describe at all why. That is why i am crazy for you. You are the only one who has ever done this. I know my odds are stacked against me but i don't care.
I can't stop thinking about you.