(no subject)
*Sigh*... its such a cascade, my heart being broken, the dislike of love and closeness...she carved me up and left me the heartbreaker.
Ok, maybe I carved myself up, but the point here is that the damage I was left with seems to have bled to those around me. I should probably just accept the fact that I will be resented by those whoo love me because after all, isn't that what I did?
How do I explain that there is no love in my heart right now? You know, my life will never change, but I keep thinking that if I work hard and focus, I can break out of my own traps and pitfalls...I just need to leave Neverland and learn to protect others from myself.
In other news... I'd like to start washing ppls feet, wierd, I know. Its just, I think we still need the creature contact of grooming one another, realizing that we are part of a greater whole, regardless of any differences we may have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not leaning towards the whole Manson thing, I personally believe that the mingling of bloodlines is a good thing... genetically speaking, its the only way to go. There are simply a large number of things in the modern world that get to me.
Well, I'll be off to West Palm in a few days, and once again, I've managed to flake out on just about everyone. I'm sorry, I really have wanted to hang out with you Bri and Brent, you too Matt and Kristal, Rebe... I think we both know somewhere inside that that was the last time we will make an effort to see one another. Really wanted to spin with Vez and Angel... I have had mixed feelings about our interaction, knowing I can't take you with me and that I can't stay either...you are a great person, but I think there will always be barriers when it comes to men understanding women and vice versa...loves just not my bag baby:).
And with that, I believe it is time to close this chapter and start a new story all-together, a good writer always knows when the tale runs out of steam.
P.S. The divinity is back... I niether curse it nor praise it these days, much like me, it comes and it goes and can only be held by the tail:).
Ok, maybe I carved myself up, but the point here is that the damage I was left with seems to have bled to those around me. I should probably just accept the fact that I will be resented by those whoo love me because after all, isn't that what I did?
How do I explain that there is no love in my heart right now? You know, my life will never change, but I keep thinking that if I work hard and focus, I can break out of my own traps and pitfalls...I just need to leave Neverland and learn to protect others from myself.
In other news... I'd like to start washing ppls feet, wierd, I know. Its just, I think we still need the creature contact of grooming one another, realizing that we are part of a greater whole, regardless of any differences we may have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not leaning towards the whole Manson thing, I personally believe that the mingling of bloodlines is a good thing... genetically speaking, its the only way to go. There are simply a large number of things in the modern world that get to me.
Well, I'll be off to West Palm in a few days, and once again, I've managed to flake out on just about everyone. I'm sorry, I really have wanted to hang out with you Bri and Brent, you too Matt and Kristal, Rebe... I think we both know somewhere inside that that was the last time we will make an effort to see one another. Really wanted to spin with Vez and Angel... I have had mixed feelings about our interaction, knowing I can't take you with me and that I can't stay either...you are a great person, but I think there will always be barriers when it comes to men understanding women and vice versa...loves just not my bag baby:).
And with that, I believe it is time to close this chapter and start a new story all-together, a good writer always knows when the tale runs out of steam.
P.S. The divinity is back... I niether curse it nor praise it these days, much like me, it comes and it goes and can only be held by the tail:).