4th Wall A Go Go

[shenghuanzhe]

I know I ain't fuckin' hallucinating, so suddenly the ship's manifest says there's a few dozen extra people on board? The fuck?

[Kage's drinking on the job. Classy, Kage.

He doesn't care, though, because apparently the ship is going absolutely nuts. May as well have a drink before the entire Elegante goes tits up.]

Comments

[redhothotrod]

Hey fuckhead, I ain't got time for no fancy-ass cruise.

this is the best 4th wall post ever

[shenghuanzhe]

Sit on it and rotate, y'fuckin' clownboat, 'cause you're here and you're stayin'.

[WHY DO ALL THESE PEOPLE SOUND LIKE HIM????]

we love you

[redhothotrod]

Jesus fucking Christ, dumbass, there's important shit to do, and I gotta do it now. So turn your fuckin' barge around or heads are gonna fuckin' roll, you hear?

this is amazing

[shenghuanzhe]

Heads are gonna roll?

[He stands up from his seat. He's had enough of all these assholes who sound like him. They aren't him, and it's honestly creeping Kage out a little.]

How 'bout this--come to the fuckin' casino. You take me down? I'll tell th'Captain to fuckin' turn the ship around. You got the rocks for that or you just gonna piss all over your fuckin' airplane pajamas?

we're making accounts AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT

[redhothotrod]

Gimme a fuckin' minute, princess, and I'll be there. This is god damn fuckin' bullshit and I'm not gonna fuckin' take it when my fuckin' family is in fuckin' danger.

[... Annnd after FINDING the casino...]

Where you -

[... Annnd there's Kage...]

- woah.

this is insane. I am laughing so hard.

[shenghuanzhe]

[Kage stands up and...

woah. ]

Zeshat ch'uk-mala pro-lyat...

[Kage is still on guard, but he steps closer to see what appears to be a perfect doppleganger of him. No, wait, that's not true. This other person has blue eyes instead of green and fewer scars. It's still a close copy, though. Damn close.]

... fuck.

C: we love yooou

[redhothotrod]

[Joey squints at Kage, skeptical. This has got to be like, a hologram or some fancy robot or something logical. He's heard of those crazy-ass coincidences, like people with the same names and separated twins and shit, but...]

Uh.

[... Come on, Joey, think of something eloquent.]

Yeah. Hey.

[Way to go!]

this is the best 4th wall post ever

[shenghuanzhe]

Hey.

[Kage blinks. There's one explanation for why Joey looks a lot like him, but it's obviously not true or they'd already be trying to kill each other. This is just bizarre.]

Yeah.

[There's an awkward, over-long pause.]

Beer?

we're so glad you're amused

[redhothotrod]

Yeah. Sure.

[This is so weird. So, so weird. Joey's going to have a beer with his doppelganger. So weird. SO WEIRD. SO WEIRD.]

So. Uh.

[He scratches at his scalp, stays where he's standing.]

... So, what the fuck?

what is this I don't even

[shenghuanzhe]

Yeah. Here.

[Kage sets out a second one and then after a moment, two more. They're going to want to drink a lot, he's thinking.]

Boat, man. This fuckin' boat does shit. You still wanna kill me?

[Kage sits down and finishes off his first beer, glances at Joey sideways as he starts in on his second.]

magic is what it is

[redhothotrod]

[Joey sits beside Kage and cracks open a beer. This is too weird. T is not going to believe this.]

Don't think I could kill my fuckin' long-lost twin. Or whatever this shit is.

[WEIRD IS WHAT IT IS.]

Sooo. Where am I?

[yo_taylor]

YO JOEY

I'M REAL HAPPY FOR YOU, AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH

BUT BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST DAMN LONG LOST TWINS OF ALL TIME!!!!

[redhothotrod]

[THROWS A BOTTLE]