Title: Five reasons why Dr. Morrison is always grumpy
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Rating: PG-13
Content Flags: mention of unmentionables, and "Wormhole XTreme"
Spoilers: a minor one for SGU "Blockade"
Characters: Morrison, Franklin, Palmer, Vanessa, Varro
Word Count: 602
Summary: His life is uncomfortable beyond belief.
Author's Notes: Written for
stargateland.
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with. ;-)
Thanks for reading! Feedback = Love. ;-)
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Five reasons why Dr. Morrison is always grumpy
1. He always gets up on the wrong side of the bed.
Morrison is a back sleeper, and he needs to have a wall to his left. Every place he ever lived in he moved his bed so he would have the same configuration. The beds on Destiny are fused to the floor, and turning the bedding around didn’t solve his problem, either, because the night stand and lamp are on the wrong side, and it’s uncomfortable beyond belief. Every time he gets up he swears softly to himself, expecting another bad day. So, it’s all the bed’s fault.
2. He’s allergic to an ingredient in the daily protein slop.
It’s not one of those life-threatening allergies that will eventually kill him - the slop gives him stomach aches and severe bloating. He’s embarrassed himself more than once when he couldn’t get away from company fast enough and everyone had to bear witness to his condition. He tried to laugh it off by calling himself a “gas giant” but nobody thought it was funny. Now he’s the only one eating purple sweet potatoes for breakfast, and the nasty tasting tubers would put a damper on anyone’s day. So, it’s all the food’s fault.
3. He ended up with one of Franklin’s boxers.
Morrison had been delegated to clean out Franklin’s quarters and thus got a short line of freshly laundered undies. At first he was ecstatic about a new set of shorts but then he discovered that Franklin either had buns of steel or he actually liked polyester knits. The boxers chafe and itch and bunch up in uncomfortable places and give him wedgies to boot, but he has no choice but to wear them while he waits for his own pair to dry. Of course Franklin’s shorts prove to be unaffected by prolonged wear and tear, and he just knows that soon it’ll be the only pair he’ll have. So, it’s all his underwear’s fault.
4. His one and only book has been missing for over a year.
He brought the newest “Wormhole XTreme” tie-in novel (“The Zombie Princess from Planet 357”) to Icarus, and Dr. Palmer had borrowed it immediately. Trying to be a good fellow geologist (and having a bit of a crush on Palmer) he had gallantly handed it to her, and he knows for a fact that she had it with her during the escape from Icarus. Rumor has it that Rush and Young have both read it and it’s still making the rounds among the crew. It drives him nuts because it’s his book to begin with, and he’s probably the only one who doesn’t know how Colonel Danning dealt with his brain-eating new girlfriend. So, it’s all the book’s fault.
5. He adores Vanessa James.
He thinks she’s quite literally the bee’s knees. Tough, tall and strong, she’s the kind of woman he would trust with his life. When she broke his nose on the drone-blockaded planet the pain was twice as bad. But after he came to and TJ had applied a cold wet cloth to his face he had grinned to himself - not exactly the first physical contact he had fantasized about, but hey, it was something. And then he sees the way Varro is looking at Vanessa, and of course they are a perfect match, those burly, gorgeous warrior types, and he wishes that just once she’d look at him that way. Of course she’d probably punch his lights out after that, but a guy can dream, can’t he? So, thank goodness, it’s probably all Varro’s fault, anyway.