Fic - You can’t get that man out of your head.
Title: You can't get that man out of your head.
Author/Artist: jjd1983d
Pairing/Characters: Zach, Shaun, Gabe, Jeanne, Cody, Tori, Allen
Rating/Genre: RNotes/Warnings: Spoilers
You can’t get that man out of your head.
You’d heard all the rumors about Shaun since he moved to L.A. You always wondered what his life was like and how he was doing.The parties ... the bars ... the boys ... the glamor ... the shows ... and all that free time to do art. You can’t get that man out of your head.
You nervously picked up Shaun’s book. You turn page after page, and it’s like watching your past on instant replay. You wonder just what Gabe’s big bro was thinking about you, and you’re scared to death to admit you enjoyed finding out you were Shaun’s biggest crush. You can’t get that man out of your head.
You pick up your board at Gabe’s house and end up surfing with Shaun all day. You feel like Shaun has read you like a book. He just knows what’s going on with Jeanne and Cody. You wonder how he got so comfortable in his own skin. You wonder how he got so smart. You wonder why he’s not full of himself like Gabe’s friends. And when your beautiful ex-girlfriend shows up at the beach, you somehow end up playing Frisbee and watching the waves with Shaun instead. You can’t get that man out of your head.
After that sloppy drunken night at Shaun’s, you thought you’d stuffed your feelings for good. Maybe giving Tori a sloppy kiss would fix everything and make you straight again. Maybe ignoring Shaun would make him go away. Maybe he’d get the hint after you tell him, “just drop it, dude!” But when you see Shaun and Cody jumping on the sand castle, your heart melts all over again. You can’t get that man out of your head.
After a summer of whirlwind romance, you feel like a young Picasso. Your fountain of creativity gushes and explodes, your mural takes over a whole building, and thanks to Shaun’s company and generosity, you and Cody are having the time of your lives. Your dream of going to Cal Arts suddenly seems within reach as you and Shaun get your portfolio ready. You can’t get that man out of your head.
You fucked up again. Jeanne got under your skin and made you doubt Shaun’s love that you saw with your own eyes. You got scared and believed her when she talked shit about him. You believed all the gawd-awful stuff those creepy preachers on TV said, just because Shaun loved men. In one fell swoop, you threw Shaun out of your car and out of your life. You drive to the pier and sleep in the back of your Blazer, and the buckets of tears won’t stop flowing. You can’t get that man out of your head.
Life suddenly goes from the sweet dream you tasted to the nightmare you always knew. Shaun is in your dreams every night, and you miss him more and more each day. Cody keeps asking about him, and you can’t explain a damn thing. You feel a pit in your stomach as you realize you’re fucking up your life the same way Jeanne did hers … and Cody’s … and yours. You can’t get that man out of your head.
After yet another day of drudgery at the diner and the Oceanette, you have another knock-down, drag-out fight with Jeanne. You’ve had it with family drama and wish you had the fun life Gabe and Shaun had. You want to slug Allen for painting over your mural that took 3 months to finish. You sleep in your car every night, just to get a few hours’ break from the crazy. You wake up in the middle of the night, turn on your phone, and listen to the message from Kelly Burke at Cal Arts. Your jaw drops as you realize just how Cal Arts got your portfolio. You can’t get that man out of your head.
Finally, you patch things up with Tori, and you go for your wildest, craziest dream, where you have it all. Everything goes perfectly! Shaun meets your tearful apology with a warm hug. Before you know it, you’re both in the car to save Cody from a life of craziness and whisk him off to a life of love that’s better than you ever imagined. You stand up to Jeanne, and much to your surprise, she backs down. Meanwhile, Shaun turns the saddest day of Cody’s life into the happiest day of his life.
You watch Allen’s beat-up pickup turn the corner, and realize your dreams are coming true.
You can’t get that man out of your head.
-
You can’t get that man out of your head.
Every time you come home for the holidays, you ask Gabe how Zach is doing. Gabe tells you stories about the two of them skating and surfing together. You hear about Zach’s cute little girlfriend and your heart aches for what might have been. But being the cool big bro you are, you buy them some wine coolers and clean up the mess before Larry gets home. You can’t get that man out of your head.
Your book becomes a minor hit, and you make enough in royalties to go to Europe and visit some museums. Every sculpture and every canvas reminds you of your little brother’s best friend, and you think about Zach more than you’d care to admit. You come home to the same old bars, the same old fussy queens, and the same old hot messes who think they’re too good for you, or that you’re too good for them. You can’t get that man out of your head.
He just strolls into your backyard like he owns the place. You see him sanding and waxing his surfboard, and it feels just like old times. You haven’t paddled out in five years, but that surf sesh was just what you needed to clear your head. You see the haunted look behind Zach’s piercing blue eyes, and you want to help him succeed more than anything else. You can’t get that man out of your head.
You talk and flirt on the phone and the walkie-talkie, and don’t understand why Zach won’t talk to you anymore. All that time stewing in Jeanne’s juices gave him a sharp tongue that cuts to your very bone. You try to be a good friend and tell Zach he should do something with his talents, and he thanks you by saying, “Late!” You shake your head and wonder what happened to the fun guy with the heart of gold you once knew. You can’t get that man out of your head.
The doorbell rings when you least expect it. You see Zach standing there and don’t know what to say. He throws himself at you with a gusto unlike anything you've seen before. You’re surprised, but definitely not complaining as he rips your shirt off and pulls you up the stairs and into bed. The white-hot passion explodes with the most mind-blowing orgasm you’ve ever had. Although Zach is morose and moody the next morning, you know this story will have many more happy endings. You can’t get that man out of your head.
You’ve always been the better man, no matter what life throws at you. You make Zach and Cody feel right at home. You delay your date for an hour making kiddie food for Cody. You hold Zach for hours as you comfort him. You don’t complain when Zach freaks out or leaves early. Your patience is rewarded as Zach opens up, his creativity flourishes, and Cody just loves the surfboard and wetsuit you bought him. You can’t get that man out of your head.
You fucked up again. Zach freaks out for the millionth time, and you rip him a new one for putting Jeanne ahead of you. You break out in a cold sweat as Jeanne’s words tumble out of Zach’s mouth and he throws you out of his car and out of his life. You feel guilty when you realize how good you’ve had it compared to Zach and Jeanne. You desperately start searching for a way, any way, to make things right with Zach again. Couldn’t Zach see that you, Gabe, and even your old man were doing everything you could to help him? You can’t get that man out of your head.
Even though Zach dumped your ass the night before, you decide to “get through the Gabe thing” anyway. Over your famous hangover casserole, you tell Gabe about the drunken kiss on the chaise lounge, the hot date where Zach pounced on you, and the joy you felt watching Gabe’s best friend turn into a budding Michelangelo. Maybe Gabe’s just hung over, but you’re relieved he keeps the glib and crude remarks to himself. Gabe promises he’ll go the diner and talk to Zach before going out of town. You see Zach’s portfolio lying around the house, and hatch a plan that’s sure to rock his world. You can’t get that man out of your head.
After a couple more weeks of moping and writer’s block, you’re ready to get on with your life. You pack your bags and put them by the front door. Just when you think you’re going to beat the traffic back to Valencia, you see that walkie-talkie sitting on top of your shirts. A sheepish grin breaks out across your face when you realize that it’s not over yet. You run out into the yard, knowing that your life is about to change forever. You can’t get that man out of your head.
You pull up to the ramshackle house in your Volvo, ready to whisk Zach and Cody off to a world of life and love that only you can create. After hearing Zach’s stories about Jeanne and Allen, you worry that you're about to become a gay-bashing statistic. Your heart sinks as you and Zach stand there, hand-in hand, staring Jeanne down, her voice dripping with contempt. Thinking quickly, you stop a fight from breaking out and go in to check on Cody.
You watch Allen’s beat-up pickup turn the corner, and realize your dreams are coming true.
You can’t get that man out of your head.