put the pylon down. or. refiners fire.
eljay, you are a den of self-indulgence, blatant hypocrisy, and whineration. but dang, i love you.
i am sooooo petrified of school, which is funny, because im extremely cognizant of the fact this is kind of a big fucking joke and should be easy because of the rarity that is the student who reads books. and yet ...
i am sitting here in ventrilo, playing some dota. i hear you, man.
being a lazy piece of ineffectual shit is as meaningless as being a productive piece of ineffectual sellout shit. so i think the key is to mitigate natural laziness and somehow act on my beliefs if i have any anymore. ive tried to give all kinds of activity a human face and tried to justify all kinds of activity as refusal through subversive participation even though im kind of fucking aware theres not much that is subversive about participation. and theres not much that is subversive about sitting on your fucking ass yapping incessantly about revolutionary ideas while being fed and comforted by the state and market, insisting that diy is overearnest and indulgent and that buying local/organic is restricted to the bourgeois. even though the bit about the classism of conscious consumerism is totally true... fuck.
is this predictable incrementalist crap or is it co-option of a valid program of action by industry people who want to herd the sheep back. haha because these people can invent and use cancerous pesticides, waste fuel shipping stuff from factory farms and put a bunch of people out of business, (all to make more money) and then turn around and market the idea that everything their industry does is bad and make money off overpriced conscious goods while continuing to exist in symbiosis with the evil shit. because theres no 'free trade/organic' brand cachet when people stop being permitted to do wasteful and dirty bullshit in the name of unlimited profit.
also, why am i obsessed with where i fit into all this. isnt it obvious im living off (and looking like) the fat of the land. i dont think i want to tell people what to do. i want to listen more but maybe its just because listening is fun and peoples experiences are interesting to me as stories or as ways to help me understand or escape the mediocrity (interrupted by intoxication and amusement) that is pretty much everything ive known as a canadian university student and infrequent and uncaring participant in lame tertiary sector jobs. except im pretty fucking sure i give a shit about peoples experiences.
and yes, im kind of aware that posting about this never solved anything (see first line of the post for invocation of the shitty eljay muse)
i am sooooo petrified of school, which is funny, because im extremely cognizant of the fact this is kind of a big fucking joke and should be easy because of the rarity that is the student who reads books. and yet ...
i am sitting here in ventrilo, playing some dota. i hear you, man.
being a lazy piece of ineffectual shit is as meaningless as being a productive piece of ineffectual sellout shit. so i think the key is to mitigate natural laziness and somehow act on my beliefs if i have any anymore. ive tried to give all kinds of activity a human face and tried to justify all kinds of activity as refusal through subversive participation even though im kind of fucking aware theres not much that is subversive about participation. and theres not much that is subversive about sitting on your fucking ass yapping incessantly about revolutionary ideas while being fed and comforted by the state and market, insisting that diy is overearnest and indulgent and that buying local/organic is restricted to the bourgeois. even though the bit about the classism of conscious consumerism is totally true... fuck.
is this predictable incrementalist crap or is it co-option of a valid program of action by industry people who want to herd the sheep back. haha because these people can invent and use cancerous pesticides, waste fuel shipping stuff from factory farms and put a bunch of people out of business, (all to make more money) and then turn around and market the idea that everything their industry does is bad and make money off overpriced conscious goods while continuing to exist in symbiosis with the evil shit. because theres no 'free trade/organic' brand cachet when people stop being permitted to do wasteful and dirty bullshit in the name of unlimited profit.
also, why am i obsessed with where i fit into all this. isnt it obvious im living off (and looking like) the fat of the land. i dont think i want to tell people what to do. i want to listen more but maybe its just because listening is fun and peoples experiences are interesting to me as stories or as ways to help me understand or escape the mediocrity (interrupted by intoxication and amusement) that is pretty much everything ive known as a canadian university student and infrequent and uncaring participant in lame tertiary sector jobs. except im pretty fucking sure i give a shit about peoples experiences.
and yes, im kind of aware that posting about this never solved anything (see first line of the post for invocation of the shitty eljay muse)