Mom, I like f*&#...
So...
I had pretty severe anxiety at brunch today. During mingly coffee and tea time I mostly just hung out by myself, and I felt weird watching people sign because I wasn't sure if I was eavesdropping. Because it's so fast and new, it was hard to pick up much that way out of context. I'm pretty sure Linda from Sesame Street was conversing right in front of me. I also saw Jack everywhere and wanted to approach him (he is in one of my favorite shows, after all), but I didn't. It didn't help that I had several coffees and could barely eat. I was trembling, and then full-on shaking. I had a chance to go up to Marlee once I got into the main room but I was too shy and not pushy enough and knew she needed to eat, too. However...
Even though I didn't talk/sign much, I met some AMAZING people. The hearing girl at my table was an interpreter, friends with Jack, and told me about other things going on in LA and a good website. I didn't sign to her very much because I said I was anxious, but she signed while speaking to me which was handy in picking things up. I told her why I was learning and she shared her story of how she realized one of her passions was signing to music, which is what she was getting ready to do.
Jamie Lee Curtis presented the award to Marlee, and I'm not sure about other people in the room but it got me pretty teary-eyed. Because yes, she does break through walls. Once the gospel choir started, and then dancing happened, I was all there. During "We are Family," I was getting down and one older man asked me if I was family. I was confused at first. Oh, but he meant that I am part of this big family, and it touched my heart. Also, if they had done more songs I totally would have gone and danced with Marlee and/or Fabian since not many people were getting into it with them, I was on the way there. But then the music stopped, because everything started too late.
I was patient as the stage was then rushed and people got in front of me wanting autographs as I waited for Marlee in my agoraphobic sweaty state. Eventually she turned to me. So I told her she's a M-I-L-F. She loved that even though there was communication weirdness as to whether I knew that she knew what a M-I-L-F was (I signed it out as "mom I like fuck" after she had a question face), and she must have realized I'm hearing because even though I could sign, I couldn't understand her very well, and then she couldn't understand me, haha. So I told her I was nervous. She was smiling really big and said aloud, "Don't be!" Then I told her I loved her (all in sign, I don't think I spoke to her at all even though she reads lips but I may have mouthed things), got my picture with her, and then I must have scampered away because I don't remember saying bye.
Very odd, I couldn't even tell Tori I loved her when I met her, she had to force words out of me even though she wasn't rushed at ALL. If Marlee wasn't so rushed I might have signed more. But it's cool, in that although I'm a newbie and this was my first time EVER signing to people who knew ASL, my hands formed more words (with Marlee anyway, who was pretty much the only Deaf person I had an exchange with) than my voice. So I think with more exposure to the community, I'll be able to communicate this way. Karri commented that I was learning ASL so I don't have to talk, but that is not the case at all. I'm doing it to work on my communication skills, so I can be more comfortable speaking through my brain freezes, too. Because that whole "cat's got your tongue" thing? Yeah, it still happens, but if I move my hands, maybe the cat will ease up.
Also... since I had two tickets, I got 2 goodie bags, so yay! TWO L Word season 4 DVDs!!! Nikki will be pleased.
I had pretty severe anxiety at brunch today. During mingly coffee and tea time I mostly just hung out by myself, and I felt weird watching people sign because I wasn't sure if I was eavesdropping. Because it's so fast and new, it was hard to pick up much that way out of context. I'm pretty sure Linda from Sesame Street was conversing right in front of me. I also saw Jack everywhere and wanted to approach him (he is in one of my favorite shows, after all), but I didn't. It didn't help that I had several coffees and could barely eat. I was trembling, and then full-on shaking. I had a chance to go up to Marlee once I got into the main room but I was too shy and not pushy enough and knew she needed to eat, too. However...
Even though I didn't talk/sign much, I met some AMAZING people. The hearing girl at my table was an interpreter, friends with Jack, and told me about other things going on in LA and a good website. I didn't sign to her very much because I said I was anxious, but she signed while speaking to me which was handy in picking things up. I told her why I was learning and she shared her story of how she realized one of her passions was signing to music, which is what she was getting ready to do.
Jamie Lee Curtis presented the award to Marlee, and I'm not sure about other people in the room but it got me pretty teary-eyed. Because yes, she does break through walls. Once the gospel choir started, and then dancing happened, I was all there. During "We are Family," I was getting down and one older man asked me if I was family. I was confused at first. Oh, but he meant that I am part of this big family, and it touched my heart. Also, if they had done more songs I totally would have gone and danced with Marlee and/or Fabian since not many people were getting into it with them, I was on the way there. But then the music stopped, because everything started too late.
I was patient as the stage was then rushed and people got in front of me wanting autographs as I waited for Marlee in my agoraphobic sweaty state. Eventually she turned to me. So I told her she's a M-I-L-F. She loved that even though there was communication weirdness as to whether I knew that she knew what a M-I-L-F was (I signed it out as "mom I like fuck" after she had a question face), and she must have realized I'm hearing because even though I could sign, I couldn't understand her very well, and then she couldn't understand me, haha. So I told her I was nervous. She was smiling really big and said aloud, "Don't be!" Then I told her I loved her (all in sign, I don't think I spoke to her at all even though she reads lips but I may have mouthed things), got my picture with her, and then I must have scampered away because I don't remember saying bye.
Very odd, I couldn't even tell Tori I loved her when I met her, she had to force words out of me even though she wasn't rushed at ALL. If Marlee wasn't so rushed I might have signed more. But it's cool, in that although I'm a newbie and this was my first time EVER signing to people who knew ASL, my hands formed more words (with Marlee anyway, who was pretty much the only Deaf person I had an exchange with) than my voice. So I think with more exposure to the community, I'll be able to communicate this way. Karri commented that I was learning ASL so I don't have to talk, but that is not the case at all. I'm doing it to work on my communication skills, so I can be more comfortable speaking through my brain freezes, too. Because that whole "cat's got your tongue" thing? Yeah, it still happens, but if I move my hands, maybe the cat will ease up.
Also... since I had two tickets, I got 2 goodie bags, so yay! TWO L Word season 4 DVDs!!! Nikki will be pleased.