things i think about when i'm not sleeping and also when i am:
i'm reading your letter. i'm looking out my window. i'm calculating hours of sleep over recent weeks and trying to figure out how each day can be so different but feel largely the same to me. being all over the place literally does not always keep your head from being all over the place, less literally. there have been more than a few points where i've nearly burst into tears unprovoked at various inapropriate times over the last month. there have been more than a few nights that i have not slept until it was'nt even night anymore. i'll sit for hours on the couch silently, not sure what to do, or possibly not even aware that i'm not doing anything. i'm making new friends and i'm getting out all the time, but i'm still inside my head, and you're still inside my head, my ears are plugged and i can't hear anything from outside. feeling like myself is fleeting, and feeling like not myself lasts for too long. i cant keep anything clean, except my language. unless i dont.