wake me up when september ends.
okay this update is long over due
and i have so much to say and so much on my mind
1st off... i miss my friends like fucking crazy.
i knew september would be hard w/ all my college visits.. but not this hard
i can't stand another weekend of not seeing them
i can't stand another night of missing youth group cuz i'm too tired and have too much work to do
i miss the relationships i have w/ them over the summer..
i miss calling elise, waking her up and analyzing and talking about anything and everything
i miss calls and text's w/ sean at work about how bored we are, stupid hauppauge drama, the kid on the scooter he wants to die lol, and how we wish it would just start pouring so we could go home
i miss my convos w/ kyle about anything or everything and smiling and laughing no matter what mood i was in
i miss jenna comming to visit me for hours
i miss steve scaring the shit out of me when he randomly appears from outside the mens bathroom
i miss my ice cream visits from megan
i miss chilling at gina's house and jill's house
i miss jen :-(
i miss james and having some1 to obbsess over.. even if it was only for 2 weeks
i miss the cruise
i miss country pointe
i miss not being totally stressd out and not having tons of work and not worrying about colleges yet
i miss my friends
i miss summer.
hopefully i'll be able to go to beach mass 2morrow
okay enough bitching..
yeah so school and college's
i pretty much like all my classes.. love my lunch.. love my free's.. gym.. really like my teachers
but i've been missing mad school cuz i keep leaving early every weekend to go look at colleges.. i've already missed 3 days
i've seen some penn schools and massachusetts
i still need a trip to connecticut and DC
and i'd like to look at penn again too
i pretty much kno what i want now.. i'm really excited about a few..
half of me is saying i can't wait to get the fuck out of here
and the other half is scared to death at the thought of leaving my friends :-/
this year better be a kickass year. no, it WILL be.
it started off quite a bit... rocky?
i was quite a bit fucked up when my heart and my mind decided to play tricks on me to the point where i couldn't tell them apart
then i got a little bit more fucked up when there was a lacking of help/support from the friends department...
but wutev shit happens and it all turned out okay and i still love them like effing crazy :-P
eventually i pretty much sorted everything out w/ a little help from the most amazing sister in the entire world..
it's kinda weird that all that time i just wanted to pour my heart out to some1 who wouldn't judge me, wouldn't form opinions or tell me what i should do or how to fix it, or what was right and wrong.. some1 who would help ME sort it out on my own.. and she was literally one room away from me the entire time.
unforchantlly i may have hurt someone other than myself in the midst of my ..incredibly-confussed-and-fucked-up-ness :-/ someone that i care about :-( and i wish that i could take it all back. but i cant. and i'm sorry. and i hate myself for it.
but everything seems to have worked out and is quickly becomming normal again
kay i lied im gonna bitch again :-P
yeah. stress? GAYYYY i gots a lots on my plate this year..
AP Lit
College Calc
AP Stats
Everyday Law/ College Psych
German 5
AP Gov
which would be manageable if i wasn't constantly missing work and having to play catch up UGH
plus captain of swim team (they made all 4 seniors captains).. which actually requires doing a lot of shit.. and i feel sooo bad for not being at practice when i have college visits :-/
treasurer of interact which hopefully wont be that bad workload-wise
mock trial.. which usually takes up my entire LIFE not to mention i will HOPEFULLY be president (if i beat schoepe)
looking at colleges.. getting reccomendations :-/.. college essay.. applications fuckfuckfuck
and trying to raise my math score on the SAT FUCKFUCKFUCKKKK cuz if i dont rasie it likeee... 50 points.. im screweeeddd w/ some of these colleges :-/
things to de-stress: YG, natural helpers every thursday, GS which better start soon<3, and my friends if i ever get a weekend that i can actually see them
but yeah.. the stress level will prob go down tremendously once college applications are out
till them i'm gonna be going a lil psycho
haha sorry this entry was pretty much just complaining.. but i guess i just needed to vent a little.. and i do actually feel a little bit better
YG BBQ monday!!! :-)
cheerio kids :-P
and i have so much to say and so much on my mind
1st off... i miss my friends like fucking crazy.
i knew september would be hard w/ all my college visits.. but not this hard
i can't stand another weekend of not seeing them
i can't stand another night of missing youth group cuz i'm too tired and have too much work to do
i miss the relationships i have w/ them over the summer..
i miss calling elise, waking her up and analyzing and talking about anything and everything
i miss calls and text's w/ sean at work about how bored we are, stupid hauppauge drama, the kid on the scooter he wants to die lol, and how we wish it would just start pouring so we could go home
i miss my convos w/ kyle about anything or everything and smiling and laughing no matter what mood i was in
i miss jenna comming to visit me for hours
i miss steve scaring the shit out of me when he randomly appears from outside the mens bathroom
i miss my ice cream visits from megan
i miss chilling at gina's house and jill's house
i miss jen :-(
i miss james and having some1 to obbsess over.. even if it was only for 2 weeks
i miss the cruise
i miss country pointe
i miss not being totally stressd out and not having tons of work and not worrying about colleges yet
i miss my friends
i miss summer.
hopefully i'll be able to go to beach mass 2morrow
okay enough bitching..
yeah so school and college's
i pretty much like all my classes.. love my lunch.. love my free's.. gym.. really like my teachers
but i've been missing mad school cuz i keep leaving early every weekend to go look at colleges.. i've already missed 3 days
i've seen some penn schools and massachusetts
i still need a trip to connecticut and DC
and i'd like to look at penn again too
i pretty much kno what i want now.. i'm really excited about a few..
half of me is saying i can't wait to get the fuck out of here
and the other half is scared to death at the thought of leaving my friends :-/
this year better be a kickass year. no, it WILL be.
it started off quite a bit... rocky?
i was quite a bit fucked up when my heart and my mind decided to play tricks on me to the point where i couldn't tell them apart
then i got a little bit more fucked up when there was a lacking of help/support from the friends department...
but wutev shit happens and it all turned out okay and i still love them like effing crazy :-P
eventually i pretty much sorted everything out w/ a little help from the most amazing sister in the entire world..
it's kinda weird that all that time i just wanted to pour my heart out to some1 who wouldn't judge me, wouldn't form opinions or tell me what i should do or how to fix it, or what was right and wrong.. some1 who would help ME sort it out on my own.. and she was literally one room away from me the entire time.
unforchantlly i may have hurt someone other than myself in the midst of my ..incredibly-confussed-and-fucked-up-ness :-/ someone that i care about :-( and i wish that i could take it all back. but i cant. and i'm sorry. and i hate myself for it.
but everything seems to have worked out and is quickly becomming normal again
kay i lied im gonna bitch again :-P
yeah. stress? GAYYYY i gots a lots on my plate this year..
AP Lit
College Calc
AP Stats
Everyday Law/ College Psych
German 5
AP Gov
which would be manageable if i wasn't constantly missing work and having to play catch up UGH
plus captain of swim team (they made all 4 seniors captains).. which actually requires doing a lot of shit.. and i feel sooo bad for not being at practice when i have college visits :-/
treasurer of interact which hopefully wont be that bad workload-wise
mock trial.. which usually takes up my entire LIFE not to mention i will HOPEFULLY be president (if i beat schoepe)
looking at colleges.. getting reccomendations :-/.. college essay.. applications fuckfuckfuck
and trying to raise my math score on the SAT FUCKFUCKFUCKKKK cuz if i dont rasie it likeee... 50 points.. im screweeeddd w/ some of these colleges :-/
things to de-stress: YG, natural helpers every thursday, GS which better start soon<3, and my friends if i ever get a weekend that i can actually see them
but yeah.. the stress level will prob go down tremendously once college applications are out
till them i'm gonna be going a lil psycho
haha sorry this entry was pretty much just complaining.. but i guess i just needed to vent a little.. and i do actually feel a little bit better
YG BBQ monday!!! :-)
cheerio kids :-P