i hate this feeling

Jul 12, 2005 00:31

I hate this depression more than anything. today was a horrible day....me and my mom talked, my dad dosnt want me to see the person i love the most, the one thats always there for me, and always listens. its not fair to say the only one because all my friends are great....but its hard becasue i love him with a passion and its not fair that i cant be with the one person that makes me smile no matter how cruel the world is. all i could do today was cry, i couldnt stop myself, in public and everything...i was just so very sad and deppressed. its the worst feeling in the world to be torn away from somthing that you love and that loves you sooo much. it all jsut makes me sad and i dont no what to do any more,...i tryed calling all my friends today and none of them where home.....i mean it i called every single one of you and got hold of no one.....it made me even more sad and i hated it....because its horrible when all you need is someone to listen to you and theres no one with the time or that cares.... i hate being ignored, by my own family it makes it hurt worse. i no its bad but sometimes i think if i were dead they wouldnt even notice, i feel like only a few people would even care, i hate this sooo much. i jsut cant quit crying. i want to be happy and be around happy people but i cant. its not fair. i want to be happy and love and live and be free and stop crying...i hate being sad. i hate this feeling. i hate being ignored.
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