(no subject)
It's wierd how all of the sudden I'm seeing a pattern when talking to one of the people that I trust and rely on the most all the sudden changes to making me unsure of the thing that I'm most sure of right now. Not once...but three or four times, makes me doubt where I'm at right now. It's a terrible feeling and I hate it and I don't know what to do about it. I know this probably makes no sense to any of you! But when someone questions the best thing you have it hurts.
I can fight for it...but it still puts a lot of shit in my mind that I don't even need there! That and it starts fights...stupid things! I'm in love, I have everything I could ever ask for. The only thing that may be missing is the promise of a future together....but that's a promise that I've been told before and obviously...it hasn't come through...so what's the point in working so hard towards something when chances are it won't get where you want it to be any ways and you'll just fall harder, when you could just be letting things be as they are, go where they will go and be happy and content with how they are.
It brings me to another thing...which is why are people (including myself) so worried about the future and making everything happen right now. I mean it's a great thing to be planning a future and all, but what's the huge hurry? We are at a place right now where we should be going to school and preparing for our future...that doesn't mean that we all the sudden need to be done with this stage of our lives. We only get to live once...and why not relax and make it exactly what we want it to be! Travel, have fun, don't stress, be proud of what we do....there are a million things that I want to accomplish right now...and to be honest, I have a plan and I'm perfectly happy with everything right now. I get too stressed over stupid little things, and I let what others have to say effect me too much sometimes.
It can be nice to have some time to sit and look at what I have...and think for me about what I want and if I'm happy with things as they are, and after spending a good amount of time thinking about that....I don't think I could be in a better place right now! I have someone who loves me and inspires me and teaches me incredible things every day and to ad to that makes me more happy than any one has ever had the ability to do. I am going back to school and I know what I want to do and how to go about doing it! I have wonderful friends and family. And right about now, I will stop blabbing on and on. Now I probably worded a lot of this all wrong and your probably thinking what the fuck? But In my mind it all makes sense....and that is what matters.
Bruce, you, me, coffee. Ummm....either thursday night...or early next week.
~Poi
I can fight for it...but it still puts a lot of shit in my mind that I don't even need there! That and it starts fights...stupid things! I'm in love, I have everything I could ever ask for. The only thing that may be missing is the promise of a future together....but that's a promise that I've been told before and obviously...it hasn't come through...so what's the point in working so hard towards something when chances are it won't get where you want it to be any ways and you'll just fall harder, when you could just be letting things be as they are, go where they will go and be happy and content with how they are.
It brings me to another thing...which is why are people (including myself) so worried about the future and making everything happen right now. I mean it's a great thing to be planning a future and all, but what's the huge hurry? We are at a place right now where we should be going to school and preparing for our future...that doesn't mean that we all the sudden need to be done with this stage of our lives. We only get to live once...and why not relax and make it exactly what we want it to be! Travel, have fun, don't stress, be proud of what we do....there are a million things that I want to accomplish right now...and to be honest, I have a plan and I'm perfectly happy with everything right now. I get too stressed over stupid little things, and I let what others have to say effect me too much sometimes.
It can be nice to have some time to sit and look at what I have...and think for me about what I want and if I'm happy with things as they are, and after spending a good amount of time thinking about that....I don't think I could be in a better place right now! I have someone who loves me and inspires me and teaches me incredible things every day and to ad to that makes me more happy than any one has ever had the ability to do. I am going back to school and I know what I want to do and how to go about doing it! I have wonderful friends and family. And right about now, I will stop blabbing on and on. Now I probably worded a lot of this all wrong and your probably thinking what the fuck? But In my mind it all makes sense....and that is what matters.
Bruce, you, me, coffee. Ummm....either thursday night...or early next week.
~Poi