Reflection Of 2008

[shell_mel]

Now I know everyone’s had their whine about last year already but I thought I give it a month so I would have proof that 2008 should never have existed and 2009 is looking better already.

Normally I don’t bash a year but last year really sucked for me. Let’s review, shall we? I’ve broken it up a little to make this easier to compare.

Body (08): -

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Comments

[autumndandelion]

I'm glad you were able to get all that out. Wow, what a year! As far as what happened with your weight and eating habits, how was it that you were gaining weight when your appetite suffered and losing weight when your appetite returned? Any chance there's something medical going on there causing that? I know depression can cause a loss of appetite and weight gain, but usually, it's the weight gain OR the loss of appetite. Good to hear that's headed in the right direction now and that you're happy with your body image.

Parents can be fun. I can totally relate to how your mother was yelling at you nightly last year. Every now and then, my mother gets into those modes too. I don't understand it. I also don't get why anyone thinks that yelling at someone is the way to motivate them. Sure, you're getting out your frustrations, but you're not helping the other person. Good thing that stopped! Oh, and I don't get compared to my sister. I'm told how my sister is the good one and how I'm the bad one, although she took nine years to get her bachelor's degree due to a LOT of slacking off. She used to cut classes and go play with her friend who was supposed to be going through homeschooling.

That is a pretty significant responsibility, caring for your father.

As for the friend who blamed you for her depression, that was bad enough, but the therapist was in on it too?! That is so freaking unprofessional! I went to school for counseling psychology, so I was trained for conducting therapy. That is not the way to help someone, by telling them who they can blame for their problems. It's all about recognising times when you engage in negative self thinking, evaluating those thoughts logically, and realising when you're essentially calling yourself names but have no grounds for your own accusations. Like some people just keep telling themselves they're losers, and once they evaluate that concept, they can't really come up with evidence to support it. It's also about dealing with negativity you may get from others, but it's not about blaming other people; again, it's about evaluating the truth behind what they're saying and rejecting it if there's no basis for what they're saying. And if there is a basis, you work on your flaws, but having the flaws in the first place doesn't make you a bad person.

Okay, I got more long-winded than necessary. Bottom line is, a therapist's job is not to tell you who you need to be blaming. That therapist needs to find another job.

Sorry to hear about your depression and how you wound up isolating yourself from others. I went through a period of depression in my early 20's where I couldn't be around other people. Good to hear that you're more social now. Do you know what it was that caused you to distance yourself?

Also, sorry to hear about your car accident. Were you injured? I'm glad you have a new car and are out driving again. I know it's a pain in the ass going through all the post-car accident fun, such as all the insurance forms and finding a new car. I'm still going through that crap for my car accident on New Years Eve.

Congrats on getting accepted to college! What do you want to ultimately major in? Also, congrats on the promotion!

Looks like, so far, 2009 is looking good for you!

= D

[shell_mel]

Yeah... I'm a little confused by my body. I have no idea why I was gaining weight. I have no idea if there was medically, anything wrong with me. I never even went to a doctor during my episode of depression and I didn't tell anyone about how I was feel (Bad I know). With already having enough problem with my dad I didn't want to add to my mum's problems. But the fact that everything is getting better now is good.

I never saw the point in yelling. All it made me do was not talk to her or the rest of my family. It didn't motivate me, it just made me want to give up right there and then. As far as I've learnt you shouldn't be comparing your children. They are both different people.

I don't actually have to do much. Just motivate him to get things done round the house so he's not sitting and thinking about everything. He looks at it so negatively. Just keep him company and help him if he has an anxiety attack.

I don't get how all this evaluation of thoughts, feelings and everything else you've explained somehow turned into a blaming game. Needless to say he still blames me for her depression and that I've suggested she see someone else. I'm a little confused as to where he got his training for this profession and would advise him to become a lawyer or something similiar where unfound accusation can be made.

I think it was just the pressure of everything. School pressure, just had an accident, feel you can't talk to anyone about it, feeling worthless at your job... I think everything just got to me and just didn't want to be around anyone. Everyone else was having their own problem, I don't think I wanted to burden them with mine too.

I was hurt, but not seriously. I had a lot of cuts on my head and most of my right hand side of my body was bruised. I was T-boned so that was expected. The post-car accident stuff is something I could have lived without. Luckily my mum handled most of it though.

Thanks! Can't wait for Uni! I want to major in teaching technology (woodwork, metalwork, plastics, electronics and tech graphics). So happy with my promotion! Makes me feel needed at work.

Since I survived last year all I can say is 'Bring it on' to this year. I'll take it, have a whiny blog about it and move on.

Thanks for commenting and relating to most of what I was going through. I really appreciate it. *Hugs*

[autumndandelion]

While it's admirable that you don't want to worry your mother any further with you being depressed in addition to your father, I hope you do seek help in the future if you go through the same thing. It's not fair to yourself to suffer alone.

For quite some time, I've recognised that far too many people in the counseling psychology field are quacks and have no business conducting therapy. It makes it really difficult to find someone to see for therapy, which is why it's so important to shop around, see if anyone has any recommendations, and if worse comes to worse, go for an initial visit and essentially interview for a good therapist.

I've been there on the job front, feeling like I'm not good enough. That can be hard to get through sometimes.

Wow, you were hurt pretty badly in your accident! Good thing your mother dealt with most of the aftermath.

Teaching technology sounds like a cool job. I loved classes like that when I was in school.

[shell_mel]

I know how stupid it was not to seek help and I will not make myself suffer again. I saw how much it just seemed to make things worse.

Through this experience it's definitely shown me that if someone I know was to ever go to a therapist, or even myself, that you need to be careful about who you see.

Technology Studies was always my favourite subject. My teacher actually took me aside one day and told me that there are very few whom he would suggest that they consider teaching this subject, but he said I should consider it. At first I didn't think much of it but in year 12 when I couldn't take any tech subjects, I realized how much I missed it. I can't wait to start teaching in... 5 years. XD