fic: The Inexplicable Conversational Intersection
Title: The Inexplicable Conversational Intersection
Author: erisinia
Spoilers: none
Rating/Warnings: K+
Word Count: 1110
Disclaimer: I don't own it, it gets me no money.
Author's Notes: Wow, again, huh? I swear, y'all, I'll get more than a week's worth of YouTube clips under my belt before I attempt these guys again. XD Awesome betaing done by untherapy
Sheldon wasn't in evidence on Sunday afternoon-- he was likely out stocking the fridge, which they'd helped him install last night (along with a comp setup which was really very nice). Marie whined a little bit at the absence of her new favorite neighbor, but it was 'Why Yes, Girls Do Play WoW' night, and soon the other ladies arrived with popcorn and very suspicious cocktails and the topic was forgotten.
After an hour of tearing through Northrend and blowing the minds of high school boys hearing female voices over Vent, there was a knock at the door--or rather a very neatly timed trio of three knocks each, the precision and symmetry of which pleased Penny.
She left her laptop and headset behind--come on, it was just gnolls, the others could handle it--and answered the door. "Sheldon, hey! What's up?"
"Do you know, that's really a very nonsensical phrase? In French you say 'how's it going?' which is a little better, but still--"
"Sheldon," Penny interrupted patiently. "Is there a point, and if so, can we get to it please?"
"Oh, sure." He scratched his head. "I'm new here--obviously--and I don't really know anyone. But I know you, kind of. And your roommate. As well as you can know someone after one conversation..." she prepared to ask him to get to the point again, when he stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged a little. "I'm lonely," he said simply, and her tender heart melted. "Oh, honey, why didn't you just say so? Come on in, and you can meet our friends." She opened the door wider and pulled on the roll of sleeve at his elbow. (His outer tee, she noted, was the MentalFloss classic 'Hobbits are Tolkien Minorities')
He faced the now quiet circle of women in headsets, apparently not uncomfortable at all with being stared at. "Hello," he said, and Asha squeaked a little in fright. He looked at her with apparent concern. "Are you alright?"
She nodded at him slightly, almost frozen, and Penny patted his arm reassuringly as she moved back to the couch. "Not your fault, Sheldon, Asha can't talk to men."
"I can talk enough for both of us, if you want," Hannah said, looking him up and down with a lascivious eye. "And aren't you just a long tall drink of water?"
Sheldon edged around her as he made for the left end of the couch. "Is this some sort of karmic payback? I make your friend uncomfortable so you're duty-bound to do the same?"
"Nah," Marie offered, shutting down her laptop. "Hannah is just a slut.""Oh, I see." He caught a glimpse of Penny's computer screen and brightened up. "Warcraft! So do you four PuG a fifth for dungeons or just four-man it?" This matter-of-fact acknowledgment of gaming by females had an immediate effect; Asha looked even more awed, Marie seemed to be picturing Punnet squares again, and Hannah, typically, was on the cusp of making a very lewd comment.
Realizing that she was, again, the person in the room most likely to be able to hold up a civilized conversation, Penny valiantly attempted to initiate small talk. "Sheldon, this is Asha and Hannah. They work with us at the university. Guys, this is our new neighbor Sheldon. He's an artist."
"Huh, really?" Hannah said casually, and Penny eyed her with narrow suspicion. Sure enough; "Do you do a lot of work with nude models?" She arched her back a little. "And do you need volunteers?"
"Not a lot of work, really; I used to do more, but that was mostly with cadavers, so it involved a very different sort of volunteer."
Even Hannah looked slightly off-put by that. Penny coughed, and said, "Uh, Sheldon, may I ask WHY you were drawing cadavers?"
"You certainly may."
They all waited.
And waited.
"Sheldon."
"Yes?"
"Why were you drawing cadavers?"
"I was doing biological illustration for for a textbook."
"Oh! Cool, what--" Penny stopped herself. "Wait. Cooper. 'Campbell and Cooper' Cooper? The introductory biology textbook that every friggin' college student on the planet has to read?"
"Yes, that book; but no, not every single student."
Marie absently crunched down a handful of trail-mix, looking faintly puzzled. "So, wait, was that the only textbook you did?"
"Yes." He straightened and looked very prim. "I found biological illustration to be too derivative. Why should I waste my time and yours by drawing a picture of something that could as easily be shown with a photograph? I'd rather paint something NEW." He looked disgusted. "Have you ever tried to pitch an anthropomorphic uterus to scholarly textbook publishers? Apparently, it doesn't go over well."
"I wonder why," said Hannah, very dryly indeed.
The conversation meandered over the next three hours from uteri to werewolves to why the Alliance sucks, with a detour through Thai food and string theory (Sheldon couldn't grasp that at all and it quickly progressed to a discussion of cat's cradle patterns).There was clearly enough conversational fodder for the discussion to have continued for some time, but at ten 'till eight Sheldon stood up, without preamble, and said "I'm sorry, but I have a commission I haven't and should have been working on for almost an hour now. Would y'all be averse to meeting again some time?" They took votes and it was decided unanimously that Tuesday evening was free. ("Too damn free by half," Hannah contributed disgustedly.) "Oh, good," he said, looking very pleased. "And I saw a sign for takeout at a place with a nice menu--Casa Blanca. We can order in and, uh..." his long fingers plucked at the air for the appropriate words: "...'chill'."
"Sounds good," Penny agreed easily. "Marie and I are at the university during the day, but if you need directions to a store or something we'll be here by seven, okay?"
"Okay," he agreed, flicked his hand in an awkward wave. The door clicked shut behind him and there was moment of silence.
"...I like him," Asha was the first to say, with enthusiasm.
"Wait, is it just me, or did we just agree to have Mexican food tomorrow?" Marie frowned. "Dammit, I hate Mexican!"
Hannah leaned back and looked amused. She addressed herself to Penny: "So, Queen Bee, what's it like to have someone come in and Alpha-Male all over your social circle?"
"...wait, what?" Penny thought about that, quickly and thoroughly, as she thought about all things. A frown gathered on her forehead like a small thundercloud. We'll see about that, she thought darkly.
Author: erisinia
Spoilers: none
Rating/Warnings: K+
Word Count: 1110
Disclaimer: I don't own it, it gets me no money.
Author's Notes: Wow, again, huh? I swear, y'all, I'll get more than a week's worth of YouTube clips under my belt before I attempt these guys again. XD Awesome betaing done by untherapy
Sheldon wasn't in evidence on Sunday afternoon-- he was likely out stocking the fridge, which they'd helped him install last night (along with a comp setup which was really very nice). Marie whined a little bit at the absence of her new favorite neighbor, but it was 'Why Yes, Girls Do Play WoW' night, and soon the other ladies arrived with popcorn and very suspicious cocktails and the topic was forgotten.
After an hour of tearing through Northrend and blowing the minds of high school boys hearing female voices over Vent, there was a knock at the door--or rather a very neatly timed trio of three knocks each, the precision and symmetry of which pleased Penny.
She left her laptop and headset behind--come on, it was just gnolls, the others could handle it--and answered the door. "Sheldon, hey! What's up?"
"Do you know, that's really a very nonsensical phrase? In French you say 'how's it going?' which is a little better, but still--"
"Sheldon," Penny interrupted patiently. "Is there a point, and if so, can we get to it please?"
"Oh, sure." He scratched his head. "I'm new here--obviously--and I don't really know anyone. But I know you, kind of. And your roommate. As well as you can know someone after one conversation..." she prepared to ask him to get to the point again, when he stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged a little. "I'm lonely," he said simply, and her tender heart melted. "Oh, honey, why didn't you just say so? Come on in, and you can meet our friends." She opened the door wider and pulled on the roll of sleeve at his elbow. (His outer tee, she noted, was the MentalFloss classic 'Hobbits are Tolkien Minorities')
He faced the now quiet circle of women in headsets, apparently not uncomfortable at all with being stared at. "Hello," he said, and Asha squeaked a little in fright. He looked at her with apparent concern. "Are you alright?"
She nodded at him slightly, almost frozen, and Penny patted his arm reassuringly as she moved back to the couch. "Not your fault, Sheldon, Asha can't talk to men."
"I can talk enough for both of us, if you want," Hannah said, looking him up and down with a lascivious eye. "And aren't you just a long tall drink of water?"
Sheldon edged around her as he made for the left end of the couch. "Is this some sort of karmic payback? I make your friend uncomfortable so you're duty-bound to do the same?"
"Nah," Marie offered, shutting down her laptop. "Hannah is just a slut.""Oh, I see." He caught a glimpse of Penny's computer screen and brightened up. "Warcraft! So do you four PuG a fifth for dungeons or just four-man it?" This matter-of-fact acknowledgment of gaming by females had an immediate effect; Asha looked even more awed, Marie seemed to be picturing Punnet squares again, and Hannah, typically, was on the cusp of making a very lewd comment.
Realizing that she was, again, the person in the room most likely to be able to hold up a civilized conversation, Penny valiantly attempted to initiate small talk. "Sheldon, this is Asha and Hannah. They work with us at the university. Guys, this is our new neighbor Sheldon. He's an artist."
"Huh, really?" Hannah said casually, and Penny eyed her with narrow suspicion. Sure enough; "Do you do a lot of work with nude models?" She arched her back a little. "And do you need volunteers?"
"Not a lot of work, really; I used to do more, but that was mostly with cadavers, so it involved a very different sort of volunteer."
Even Hannah looked slightly off-put by that. Penny coughed, and said, "Uh, Sheldon, may I ask WHY you were drawing cadavers?"
"You certainly may."
They all waited.
And waited.
"Sheldon."
"Yes?"
"Why were you drawing cadavers?"
"I was doing biological illustration for for a textbook."
"Oh! Cool, what--" Penny stopped herself. "Wait. Cooper. 'Campbell and Cooper' Cooper? The introductory biology textbook that every friggin' college student on the planet has to read?"
"Yes, that book; but no, not every single student."
Marie absently crunched down a handful of trail-mix, looking faintly puzzled. "So, wait, was that the only textbook you did?"
"Yes." He straightened and looked very prim. "I found biological illustration to be too derivative. Why should I waste my time and yours by drawing a picture of something that could as easily be shown with a photograph? I'd rather paint something NEW." He looked disgusted. "Have you ever tried to pitch an anthropomorphic uterus to scholarly textbook publishers? Apparently, it doesn't go over well."
"I wonder why," said Hannah, very dryly indeed.
The conversation meandered over the next three hours from uteri to werewolves to why the Alliance sucks, with a detour through Thai food and string theory (Sheldon couldn't grasp that at all and it quickly progressed to a discussion of cat's cradle patterns).There was clearly enough conversational fodder for the discussion to have continued for some time, but at ten 'till eight Sheldon stood up, without preamble, and said "I'm sorry, but I have a commission I haven't and should have been working on for almost an hour now. Would y'all be averse to meeting again some time?" They took votes and it was decided unanimously that Tuesday evening was free. ("Too damn free by half," Hannah contributed disgustedly.) "Oh, good," he said, looking very pleased. "And I saw a sign for takeout at a place with a nice menu--Casa Blanca. We can order in and, uh..." his long fingers plucked at the air for the appropriate words: "...'chill'."
"Sounds good," Penny agreed easily. "Marie and I are at the university during the day, but if you need directions to a store or something we'll be here by seven, okay?"
"Okay," he agreed, flicked his hand in an awkward wave. The door clicked shut behind him and there was moment of silence.
"...I like him," Asha was the first to say, with enthusiasm.
"Wait, is it just me, or did we just agree to have Mexican food tomorrow?" Marie frowned. "Dammit, I hate Mexican!"
Hannah leaned back and looked amused. She addressed herself to Penny: "So, Queen Bee, what's it like to have someone come in and Alpha-Male all over your social circle?"
"...wait, what?" Penny thought about that, quickly and thoroughly, as she thought about all things. A frown gathered on her forehead like a small thundercloud. We'll see about that, she thought darkly.