Fic: The Civilization of Sheldon Cooper (1/?)

Aug 18, 2009 21:45

***

“It’s 6:15.”

“Leonard, all our watches work just fine - we really don’t need you to announce the time every two minutes!” Howard muttered as he rose from the couch and went to grab a drink from the fridge.

“Dude - I’m with Leonard on this. There’s only fifteen minutes to Halo and no word from Sheldon?” Raj admonished his friend. “Wait - no one knows better than Sheldon that the drive home takes 13 minutes at this time of night. Maybe he grabbed a cab.”

“Raj,” Leonard looked at him in surprise.

“Oh, all right, maybe I’m grasping at straws!”

“I’ll try his cell again,” Howard flipped his phone open and pressed re-dial. Sheldon’s phone rang for the requisite five times before his voicemail kicked in. “Nada.”

They fretted as they retried Sheldon’s number a few more times, all three of them jumping to attention when the apartment door was suddenly thrown open, and then deflating in unison to see it was only Penny. She flopped down on the couch without preamble, and was immediately subjected to three identical looks of consternation. With a long-suffering sigh, she scooted over from the left side of couch and on to the middle seat.

“All right, let’s get it on!” She inhaled deeply and yelled in the direction of Sheldon’s room, “Come on out, moonpie - and prepare to die - mua-ha-ha.”

“He’s not here,” Leonard informed her.

“Who’s not here?’ Penny asked absently as she picked up a controller. Then she looked up at them, and noted one very significant absence. “Sheldon? Sheldon’s not here yet? Where the hell is he? I thought you were picking him up?” She stared at Leonard accusingly, as if this was somehow his fault.

“He said he would call me when he was done,” Leonard said defensively.

“Leonard,” she sprang up from the couch and grabbed his wrist. “It’s 6:28!”

“Technically, he has two more minutes to get here,” Howard informed them. “Who knows - maybe he figured out teleportation in his spare time.”

Penny’s foot started tapping. Leonard stared at his watch, his stomach churning in anxiety. Howard pulled out his phone again, his fingers automatically hitting re-dial. Raj stared at the floor, wringing his hands and biting his lip.

“You don’t think anything happened to him, do you?” Penny asked, putting their collective fears into words.

“No!” Leonard vehemently declared and Raj shook his head vigorously.

“Nah!” Howard lamented. “He’s too mean to die!”

“Who said anything about dying?” Penny cried. She opened her mouth to berate Howard but Leonard cut her off.

“It’s 6:30.”

Four pairs of eyes turned to the door and stared intently at it as the seconds ticked by.

“Good God - it’s 6:31 on Halo night and no Sheldon!” Leonard exclaimed.

“Okay - no need to panic,” Penny declared in a voice that sounded slightly panicked, “Leonard - head back to work and see if he’s still there. Howard, Raj - you guys check the comic book store - take Howard’s bike. Raj - I’ll take your car and check out the restaurants. It’s a long shot but we have to find him.”

They were - rather efficiently - out of the apartment within a minute, only to return two hours later, their search fruitless and their minds frantic with worry for their missing friend.

“I don’t care how crazy they think I am, I’m calling the police,” Penny announced as she used her key to let them into the boys’ apartment. Leonard, Howard and Raj soberly agreed. All four of them, however, froze on the threshold at the sight that greeted them within.

It was Sheldon Cooper, PhD. - and he was laughing.

***

fan: fiction, rating: pg-13

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