fic: the potted orchid proposition (1/2)

[rj_anderson]

Title: The Potted Orchid Proposition
Spoilers: None
Rating: T
Summary: Sheldon has a plan, but will Penny be willing to go along with it?
Word Count: ~3,400
Notes: Written in response to inanna1130's plot bunny here. Thanks to damalur for her sage beta-reading advice and mad copyediting skills!

***

Comments

[snarky_kat]

omg. only sheldon would go from first kiss to marry-me all in the space of an hour. though I don't doubt it all seems perfectly logical in his mind. oh, sheldon.

WHERE'S THE REST?!

[rj_anderson]

Somewhere in the dark recesses of my brain! But I hope to drag it kicking and screaming into the light at some point in the next few days. :) I'm so glad you liked it, thanks for the comment!

[snarky_kat]

Loved it, bb. I loved it

[fujiidom]

Note: Reputation as a light-hearted prankster appears to have become a liability.

Oh, Sheldon. Oh, Sheldon honey, no. That's what we love most! I love your Sheldon here. He's so earnest and kind and patient (even despite the heartache and lonliness).

"Tell me this isn't some kind of weird experiment," she whispered harshly. "Tell me you really mean it."

I love this. It's kind of how I think any future relationship with them would come out. Penny may not be actively seeking out Sheldon, but if that ever happened ...some part of her would already have considered it. Deep down, she'd answer that nagging question about why he riles her so much more than anyone else (even when nice, HEE).

I'm really looking forward to seeing how the proposal is received. :) Such a gentleman, opting to wait for marriage before she gets too far up his shirt. I love Sheldon and how incredibly in-character and rare that is to see in a guy. Awesome start!

[rj_anderson]

Wow, thank you so much for the kind words! I'm so glad you thought it worked with Sheldon's character and that Penny's reactions made sense.

[renisanz]

Holy crap on a cracker...

Quite on its own, his body had decided that it was ready to select a mate-and for some reason, it had settled on Penny.

Loved this line. I really like how you describes Sheldon thought processes, but at some parts it seems a little too expository. For example, some conclusions I, personally, don't think Sheldon would come to on his own. You did an awesome job, though of conveying Sheldon's trials and errors as he tried to woo Penny, and it was so sweet and poignant that she misconstrued everything he was doing, but he didn't give up. Like this:

Sheldon's stomach twisted into a sickening knot. He had tried to speak her language, but it seemed that this, like all his previous efforts, had been a failure.

Gah...this broke my heart a little.

And then the kiss...Guh.

OMG, an ENGAGEMENT RING, because OF COURSE, once Sheldon reconciled the fact that he had somehow chosen a mate, he would go all out to make it official. That just works.

[rj_anderson]

For example, some conclusions I, personally, don't think Sheldon would come to on his own.

I'd be happy to hear more of your thoughts on this! Right now I'm not sure which parts you mean, and if you would elaborate then that would give me something to work with -- perhaps even being able to address some of those issues in Part Two.

Thanks for your thoughtful comments!

[renisanz]

Yeah, sorry. I didn't want to go into a long concrit since I was distracted and supposed be working, and I didn't know whether you'd be open to suggestions or no...so, I'll get back to you, definitely. :)

[rj_anderson]

No worries, I take suggestions for a living. :) I'll look forward to your further thoughts when you have time to share them.

[artic_fox]

OH MY. MORE PLEASE. What a cliffhanger!

Other than squealing, I have to say I love the narrative. You've made Sheldon's realisation very realistic and in character. I especially loved:

Quite on its own, his body had decided that it was ready to select a mate-and for some reason, it had settled on Penny.

It is so typical of him to think his body is trying to revolt against his mind, hehe.

[rj_anderson]

I really think Sheldon has a love/hate relationship with his body. Part of him would love to be a brain in a vat -- and yet if he were, how could he enjoy eating Indian food or having his tummy rubbed? :D

Anyway, I'm happy you enjoyed the story! Thanks.

[renisanz]

...or having his tummy rubbed?

ROFL. I know! I still have to find some way to incorporate this into...something, be it fic or art, because that's so random.

[patronuscharms]

*does a dance*

Can't wait for the next part!

[rj_anderson]

*dances with you*

Neither can I! I just wish it would write itself and save me the trouble! :)