Re: Prompt-Lamp Team Minds-WC 1,219ravenna_tAugust 13 2010, 20:32:23 UTC
Penny had caught up with him when he fled in horror after realizing what he had done. He tried to explain to her that she was ruining his life. He gave her a long list of symptoms that she caused him to suffer through. She laid her hand on his arm and rubbed small circles on his wrist. And listened quietly as his rant became quieter and less frenzied. His panicked eyes searched hers for understanding. But he was terrible at reading peoples expressions. But she was still smiling at him with the same sweet smile and he thinks she may have looked a little worried. He choked back his words when she leaned forward and kissed his cheek and told him she would wait for him to figure it out. And that she was not upset with what he did, that it made her happy.
And now here he is. At 3 in the morning. Worked into a frenzy and still no closer to a cure than he was before. How is it that in all of the years since modern science began, has no one thought to find a cure for this particular disease? Is it not just as dangerous as any other? Doesn’t its side effects harm people just as much as any other? More so than most?
He thinks about Dennis Kim. If personal relationships can make people behave like that, then there was no hope. If he didn’t have his intellect, then he would be nothing. He doesn’t want to be like Leonard or Wolowitz, who would do anything and everything to be in a relationship. Change themselves to try and fit into someone else’s concept of an ideal mate. He is happy with who he is. He doesn’t want to be any different. If he could be with Penny and still be himself, that would be one thing. His heart swells in his chest at the thought. But he has no experience with these things. Only what he has witnessed with his own eyes.
He drops his head into his hands. He knows he doesn’t want to be like his parents. Who lived 35 years in a terribly unhappy marriage. If love is what he has witnessed, he is terrified. The thought of making Penny unhappy feels like a kick in the stomach. What if he becomes like his father? Its something he has fought against his entire life. What if love is to blame for his parents unhappy life?
Re: Prompt-Lamp Team Minds-WC 1,219ravenna_tAugust 13 2010, 20:34:32 UTC
He allows himself a brief moment of objectivity. Thinks of his Meemaw and how much she loved his Pop-pop. And how even after he passed away, he still made her happy. She would smile at the mere memory of him and would thank Jesus for the small time they had together. His Meemaw is different than anyone else he knows. She is a singularly kind and warm person. But she could also become angry as a bull and twice as scary if you messed with someone she loved. Meemaw’s love made him a better person. Made everyone around her better for it. He has no doubt about that. Meemaw’s love a gift. Not a curse. And if there was anyone else in the world whose love could make him a happier and improved man, it would be Penny. He begins pacing in the dark.
But what about her? Would she be happy with him? He thinks he could make her happy. Could treat her better than any of her other suitors ever have. Would do anything and everything in his power to make her happy and keep that smile on her face.
He needs to speak with her. Make sure she’s perfectly clear about how badly it could go. He needs to explain to her about how love can damage people. Corrupt and destroy them. He suspects she knows all this. She’s very intelligent when it comes to human interaction. But he needs her assurance that they wont end up like those people.
His long strides have him halfway across the room on his way to her apartment when he remembers the time. He doesn’t want to disturb her sleep... He would like to have her completely awake when they have this discussion. It can wait until the morning. He crosses back to his desk and closes his laptop and then shuts off his lamp. He crosses the dark apartment and the knot that has been in his stomach all day finally subsides.
Re: Prompt-Lamp Team Minds-WC 1,219stephaniejane2August 15 2010, 19:21:19 UTC
The tone of this piece really reminds me of Mr Darcy's interior monologue in his "here's why I did what I did" letter to Elizabeth in P&P. Brooding, concerned anguish FTW!
And now here he is. At 3 in the morning. Worked into a frenzy and still no closer to a cure than he was before. How is it that in all of the years since modern science began, has no one thought to find a cure for this particular disease? Is it not just as dangerous as any other? Doesn’t its side effects harm people just as much as any other? More so than most?
He thinks about Dennis Kim. If personal relationships can make people behave like that, then there was no hope. If he didn’t have his intellect, then he would be nothing. He doesn’t want to be like Leonard or Wolowitz, who would do anything and everything to be in a relationship. Change themselves to try and fit into someone else’s concept of an ideal mate. He is happy with who he is. He doesn’t want to be any different. If he could be with Penny and still be himself, that would be one thing. His heart swells in his chest at the thought. But he has no experience with these things. Only what he has witnessed with his own eyes.
He drops his head into his hands. He knows he doesn’t want to be like his parents. Who lived 35 years in a terribly unhappy marriage. If love is what he has witnessed, he is terrified. The thought of making Penny unhappy feels like a kick in the stomach. What if he becomes like his father? Its something he has fought against his entire life. What if love is to blame for his parents unhappy life?
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But what about her? Would she be happy with him? He thinks he could make her happy. Could treat her better than any of her other suitors ever have. Would do anything and everything in his power to make her happy and keep that smile on her face.
He needs to speak with her. Make sure she’s perfectly clear about how badly it could go. He needs to explain to her about how love can damage people. Corrupt and destroy them. He suspects she knows all this. She’s very intelligent when it comes to human interaction. But he needs her assurance that they wont end up like those people.
His long strides have him halfway across the room on his way to her apartment when he remembers the time. He doesn’t want to disturb her sleep... He would like to have her completely awake when they have this discussion. It can wait until the morning. He crosses back to his desk and closes his laptop and then shuts off his lamp. He crosses the dark apartment and the knot that has been in his stomach all day finally subsides.
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