fic: resistance is futile
Title: Resistance is Futile
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Spoilers: Nope
Word Count: 2,136
Summary: Lieutenant Cooper, Science Officer aboard the USS Intrepid, is preparing for his first deep-space mission. Little does he expect to encounter an old (irritating) friend... Star Trek AU.
A/N - Okay, I started writing this with the intention of it being a porny PWP oneshot along the lines of 'Sheldon and Penny have sex in a jeffries tube'... instead, I kept writing plot, so I thought sod it! and wrote this instead. I intend to write one or two sequels one day, because I LOVE the idea of this AU, but this should just be regarded as a snapshot, rather than the first chapter of something.
Also, thanks to everyone who chimed in with ideas about where Sheldon went to college - I chose Harvard and Yale for his PhDs, as I've been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls lately, and Rice University, because I like the name :)
Futile
Lieutenant Dr Sheldon Cooper stood alone on the observation deck of Space Dock, looking down at the planet Earth. The Dock was currently in orbit above the USA, and Sheldon’s eyes roamed across the land, taking in all the places he had called home. First, Texas - born and raised in that vast, dry state, it was a part of him in more ways than just his voice. He had undertaken his first degree in that state, unable to convince his mother to let him go further afield - as though he as an eleven year-old was not far more capable than most eighteen year-olds, and as if shuttles didn’t make even the longest commutes less than half an hour. Still, it didn’t matter, and Rice University had served him well. He’d managed to talk his mother into Harvard for his first doctorate, and so his eyes travelled up the East coast to Massachusetts, which he remembered fondly as being the first place he was able to let his intellect roam free. And then his first taste of life outside the United States of America - Heidelberg as a visiting professor when he was fifteen - Germany and the rest of Europe was only visible as bright lights in the shade of night, but Sheldon looked all the same. Then, his eyes travelled back to America, to Connecticut, and Yale, where he studied for his second doctorate. His eyes then skipped clear across the country to California. To Pasadena, where he had spent several years as a post-doc researcher at CalTech - and then to San Francisco.
Enlisting in Star Fleet was by far the soundest decision Sheldon had ever made. Yes, it was dangerous (as his mother kept reminding him); yes, he could be away from Earth for a long time (as his Meemaw kept reminding him); yes, he was about as much use in a fire-fight as a rubber tree plant (Missy); but at the Academy, for the first time, Sheldon had really felt as though he belonged. There, he was among people who, though not his intellectual equals (apart, perhaps, from the small number of Vulcans enlisted... and even then, only perhaps) at least appreciated his intellectual gifts for what they were.
Well, almost everyone. Fleeting memories of being called ‘whackadoodle’ by certain annoying dorm neighbours were quickly shook off and replaced by pleasant reminisces of his valedictorian speech at graduation six months ago (thank science for advances in nerve suppressants), and how it had felt to step on board of the USS Intrepid (NCC-38907) as a part of its crew. Six months Sheldon had explored the far... well, okay, the reaches of the quadrant, and now they were back, though only for two days. Sheldon had dutifully returned to his mother’s home in Galveston to see her before shipping out again, this time for three years.
Sheldon took one last look at Texas, then turned on his heel and left the Observation Deck. He took the turbolift to Hangar 5, where the Intrepid was being loaded with supplies and new personnel. Sheldon could see Captain Deighan by one of the cargo bay ramps, talking to Admiral Binns... Sheldon smiled to himself and directed his feet towards that entrance instead, attempting to appear as nonchalant as possible.
It worked.
“Ah, Cooper!” Exclaimed the Captain as Sheldon drew near. “Admiral Binns, may I present Lieutenant Sheldon Cooper? Joined the crew six months ago, fresh from the Academy, and is already giving Rozhenko a run for his money...”
Sheldon stopped in front of the Admiral and snapped to attention.
“At ease, Lieutenant,” the Admiral said, holding out his hand. “Pleased to meet you son.”
Sheldon nodded and shook the older man’s hand. “Pleased to meet you, sir,” he said completely truthfully - Binns wasn’t anything particularly special but he was an Admiral, and that wasn’t to be sniffed at. Networking was everything in Star Fleet, and Sheldon had learned to play the game in the last four and a half years, in a way he never had at Caltech - at least Star Fleet Admirals had made a tangible contribution to their chosen field, unlike his so-called ‘superiors’ at the university.
“Did you make the most of your shore leave?” The Admiral asked.
“I visited my family,” Sheldon said, skirting the question. The Admiral didn’t seem to notice, and smiled.
“Good man,” he said. “Where’s home for you?”
“My mother, brother, sister and grandmother live in Texas,” Sheldon said, once again not giving a direct answer.
Admiral Binns’ eyes widened. “Wait - you’re that Cooper, the Texan whizz-kid who had a doctorate by the time he was seventeen, right?”
“Sixteen,” Sheldon corrected him. “It would have been earlier, but I was asked to spend a semester in Heidelberg as a visiting professor when I was fifteen, and that set me back a few months.”
The Admiral gave Captain Deighan a significant look, to which the Captain responded with a wry grin. “Yeah, he runs circles around the rest of the science division,” he said.
That was putting it mildly, but Sheldon let it slide. As his mother had always told him, people didn’t like it when he pointed out that he significantly smarter than them... but really, Sergey Rozhenko was the only scientist on the Intrepid that Sheldon could stand to talk to.
“Well, Cooper, I’ll be watching your career with great interest,” Admiral Binns said, holding out his hand again. “God speed.”
Watching your career with great interest... it was exactly the phrase that ever Star Fleet officer wanted to hear from the higher ranks - and no less than Sheldon deserved, of course. Trying to keep any trace of smugness off his face, Sheldon reached out a hand to shake the Admiral’s hand again.
“Moonpie!”
Sheldon recognised the voice instantly and froze, his hand inches away from the Admiral’s. “Oh dear lord no,” he said faintly.
Admiral Binns and Captain Reighan were looking over Sheldon’s shoulder in the direction of the voice, and Sheldon stayed frozen, trying to decide whether to turn around as well or to carry on as though he hadn’t heard anything.
A few seconds later the decision was made for him as solid mass collided with his back, knocking him forward a good two inches at least, and two tanned arms wrapped themselves around his torso. They squeezed, tightly, and then a mass of blonde ringlets bounced into view by his left elbow.
Sheldon glared. “Don’t call me Moonpie,” he said through gritted teeth.
Penny just laughed delightedly and gave him another squeeze. “I thought I was going to have to spend hours looking for you, but here you are!” She said with a grin. “This is going to be so much fun!”
She let go of Sheldon and stepped back, and Sheldon noticed that she was wearing the red uniform of a Starship Yeoman, and there were two large duffel bags on the ground behind her. Sheldon’s eyes widened.
“You’re assigned to the Intrepid?!” He exclaimed.
Penny nodded, still grinning. “Yep!” She said. “Surprise!”
Penny was assigned to the Intrepid, to Sheldon’s ship, Sheldon’s refuge. They were leaving for a three-year deep-space mission, and Penny would be there, the entire time. Really, he should have expected it - she had somehow wormed her way into almost every aspect of his life at the Academy, due first to his roommate’s infatuation with her, and later to her belief that they were friends. And... well, yes, they were. Eventually. But just because she was his friend, didn’t mean that Sheldon didn’t find Penny incredibly irritating. She was messy, and she never knocked. She was always invading his living space, and she frequently beat him at computer games. She had looked after him when he was sick, but she had also given him a black eye. She insisted on calling him Moonpie. She hugged.
There were so many different reactions that Sheldon could have to the news that she would be his colleague for the next three years, most of them involving words his mother would hit him for or tears, but he settled on the calmest he could manage.
“New personnel were expected to report an hour and a half ago,” he said.
Penny rolled her eyes. “I know, there was a transporter malfunction in Omaha - sorry Captain,” she said, turning to Reighan, who was looking highly amused. “I hope you got my message.”
“I did, Ensign, glad you made it,” the Captain said. “I see you two know each other.”
Penny grinned. “We lived across the hall from each other at the Academy,” she said. “He helped me with my Subspace Communicative Physics assignments, and I helped him dress properly.”
Sheldon flushed with equal parts annoyance and embarrassment, while the Captain and Admiral laughed. He scowled at Penny, who just winked at him.
“Well, Cooper, why don’t you help Yeoman Forbes get settled in?” The Captain said. “I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do.”
Hardly - Penny sent him ridiculously long communiqués every single week - but Sheldon knew better than to try to refuse. It seemed he had lost Admiral Binns’ attention anyway, as he only had eyes for Penny. Typical.
“Good luck Penny,” he said fondly.
Sheldon did a double-take at that, and then saw Penny give him an affectionate smile. “Thanks Ron,” she said. “Take care.”
She picked up one of her duffel bags and pushed it towards Sheldon, who caught it clumsily around the middle. She picked up her other bag and started up the ramp onto the ship. Sheldon shook his head and turned back to the Admiral.
“Um, goodbye, Admiral.”
The Admiral nodded. “Take care of Penny, Cooper - best Yeoman I ever had,” he said.
Sheldon had no answer for that, so he just shouldered Penny’s duffel bag and followed her onboard.
~*~
An hour later, Sheldon sat down in front of computer terminal in his quarters and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Computer, hail Lieutenant Junior Grade Leonard Hofstadter, Starbase Six.”
The computer beeped, and a few moments later the soothing voice of the computer announced that the hail was being received, and Leonard’s face flickered into view on the small screen in front of him.
“Hey... I think I know what this is about,” Leonard said straight away.
Sheldon glared at him. “Why didn’t you tell me Penny was assigned to the Intrepid?” He demanded.
Leonard didn’t even bother trying to deny knowledge of it - he just held up his hands. “She made me promise not to,” he said. “She wanted it to be a surprise.”
“I hate surprises,” Sheldon stated coldly.
Leonard shrugged. “Well, she’s there, and there’s not much you can do about it,” he said truthfully. Damn him. “Anyway, it’s not a big deal, is it? I mean, you get on with Penny.”
“Well yes, in small doses,” Sheldon said. “But she’s already planned our coinciding free shifts for the next one-hundred-and-twenty hours!”
Leonard smiled. “It’s a big ship Sheldon, and you work in completely different divisions,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll be able to avoid her if that’s what you...” His voice trailed off as he caught sight of the look of mingled annoyance and despair on Sheldon’s face, and he suddenly seemed to fighting back a grin. “She’s living opposite you, isn’t she?”
“Directly opposite,” Sheldon said drily.
Leonard tried to cover his laugh with a cough, but it was a poor attempt. Sheldon glared again. “This is not funny.”
“It kinda is.”
“No, it is not!” Sheldon exclaimed. “I spent the last six months aboard this ship cultivating professional relationships with my colleagues, and developing a strict routine, and you just know that the first thing Penny will do will be to wantonly destroy my routines and worm her way into my private and professional life... it’s what she always does.”
Leonard was still (infuriatingly!) smiling, and just shrugged again when Sheldon had finished talking. “You know what, you should count yourself lucky that you’ve got a friend on board,” he said. “Three years is a long time, Sheldon.”
Sheldon pursed his lips, refusing to acknowledge the point, but unwilling to directly oppose it either.
“So... when are you arriving at Starbase Six?” Leonard asked.
“Four weeks.”
“Cool, looking forward to it,” Leonard said. “I gotta go.”
“Very well, I will see you then.”
“Bye Leonard!”
Both Sheldon and Leonard jumped at the sound of Penny’s voice in the room with Sheldon, and Leonard failed once again in disguising his laugh as he disconnected their call. Sheldon turned in his seat to find Penny sitting at one end of his low-slung couch, smiling at him.
“How long have you been sitting there?”
“Only a few seconds,” Penny said. “Why? Ooh - were you talking about me?”
Sheldon scowled. “You’re sitting in my spot.”
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Spoilers: Nope
Word Count: 2,136
Summary: Lieutenant Cooper, Science Officer aboard the USS Intrepid, is preparing for his first deep-space mission. Little does he expect to encounter an old (irritating) friend... Star Trek AU.
A/N - Okay, I started writing this with the intention of it being a porny PWP oneshot along the lines of 'Sheldon and Penny have sex in a jeffries tube'... instead, I kept writing plot, so I thought sod it! and wrote this instead. I intend to write one or two sequels one day, because I LOVE the idea of this AU, but this should just be regarded as a snapshot, rather than the first chapter of something.
Also, thanks to everyone who chimed in with ideas about where Sheldon went to college - I chose Harvard and Yale for his PhDs, as I've been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls lately, and Rice University, because I like the name :)
Futile
Lieutenant Dr Sheldon Cooper stood alone on the observation deck of Space Dock, looking down at the planet Earth. The Dock was currently in orbit above the USA, and Sheldon’s eyes roamed across the land, taking in all the places he had called home. First, Texas - born and raised in that vast, dry state, it was a part of him in more ways than just his voice. He had undertaken his first degree in that state, unable to convince his mother to let him go further afield - as though he as an eleven year-old was not far more capable than most eighteen year-olds, and as if shuttles didn’t make even the longest commutes less than half an hour. Still, it didn’t matter, and Rice University had served him well. He’d managed to talk his mother into Harvard for his first doctorate, and so his eyes travelled up the East coast to Massachusetts, which he remembered fondly as being the first place he was able to let his intellect roam free. And then his first taste of life outside the United States of America - Heidelberg as a visiting professor when he was fifteen - Germany and the rest of Europe was only visible as bright lights in the shade of night, but Sheldon looked all the same. Then, his eyes travelled back to America, to Connecticut, and Yale, where he studied for his second doctorate. His eyes then skipped clear across the country to California. To Pasadena, where he had spent several years as a post-doc researcher at CalTech - and then to San Francisco.
Enlisting in Star Fleet was by far the soundest decision Sheldon had ever made. Yes, it was dangerous (as his mother kept reminding him); yes, he could be away from Earth for a long time (as his Meemaw kept reminding him); yes, he was about as much use in a fire-fight as a rubber tree plant (Missy); but at the Academy, for the first time, Sheldon had really felt as though he belonged. There, he was among people who, though not his intellectual equals (apart, perhaps, from the small number of Vulcans enlisted... and even then, only perhaps) at least appreciated his intellectual gifts for what they were.
Well, almost everyone. Fleeting memories of being called ‘whackadoodle’ by certain annoying dorm neighbours were quickly shook off and replaced by pleasant reminisces of his valedictorian speech at graduation six months ago (thank science for advances in nerve suppressants), and how it had felt to step on board of the USS Intrepid (NCC-38907) as a part of its crew. Six months Sheldon had explored the far... well, okay, the reaches of the quadrant, and now they were back, though only for two days. Sheldon had dutifully returned to his mother’s home in Galveston to see her before shipping out again, this time for three years.
Sheldon took one last look at Texas, then turned on his heel and left the Observation Deck. He took the turbolift to Hangar 5, where the Intrepid was being loaded with supplies and new personnel. Sheldon could see Captain Deighan by one of the cargo bay ramps, talking to Admiral Binns... Sheldon smiled to himself and directed his feet towards that entrance instead, attempting to appear as nonchalant as possible.
It worked.
“Ah, Cooper!” Exclaimed the Captain as Sheldon drew near. “Admiral Binns, may I present Lieutenant Sheldon Cooper? Joined the crew six months ago, fresh from the Academy, and is already giving Rozhenko a run for his money...”
Sheldon stopped in front of the Admiral and snapped to attention.
“At ease, Lieutenant,” the Admiral said, holding out his hand. “Pleased to meet you son.”
Sheldon nodded and shook the older man’s hand. “Pleased to meet you, sir,” he said completely truthfully - Binns wasn’t anything particularly special but he was an Admiral, and that wasn’t to be sniffed at. Networking was everything in Star Fleet, and Sheldon had learned to play the game in the last four and a half years, in a way he never had at Caltech - at least Star Fleet Admirals had made a tangible contribution to their chosen field, unlike his so-called ‘superiors’ at the university.
“Did you make the most of your shore leave?” The Admiral asked.
“I visited my family,” Sheldon said, skirting the question. The Admiral didn’t seem to notice, and smiled.
“Good man,” he said. “Where’s home for you?”
“My mother, brother, sister and grandmother live in Texas,” Sheldon said, once again not giving a direct answer.
Admiral Binns’ eyes widened. “Wait - you’re that Cooper, the Texan whizz-kid who had a doctorate by the time he was seventeen, right?”
“Sixteen,” Sheldon corrected him. “It would have been earlier, but I was asked to spend a semester in Heidelberg as a visiting professor when I was fifteen, and that set me back a few months.”
The Admiral gave Captain Deighan a significant look, to which the Captain responded with a wry grin. “Yeah, he runs circles around the rest of the science division,” he said.
That was putting it mildly, but Sheldon let it slide. As his mother had always told him, people didn’t like it when he pointed out that he significantly smarter than them... but really, Sergey Rozhenko was the only scientist on the Intrepid that Sheldon could stand to talk to.
“Well, Cooper, I’ll be watching your career with great interest,” Admiral Binns said, holding out his hand again. “God speed.”
Watching your career with great interest... it was exactly the phrase that ever Star Fleet officer wanted to hear from the higher ranks - and no less than Sheldon deserved, of course. Trying to keep any trace of smugness off his face, Sheldon reached out a hand to shake the Admiral’s hand again.
“Moonpie!”
Sheldon recognised the voice instantly and froze, his hand inches away from the Admiral’s. “Oh dear lord no,” he said faintly.
Admiral Binns and Captain Reighan were looking over Sheldon’s shoulder in the direction of the voice, and Sheldon stayed frozen, trying to decide whether to turn around as well or to carry on as though he hadn’t heard anything.
A few seconds later the decision was made for him as solid mass collided with his back, knocking him forward a good two inches at least, and two tanned arms wrapped themselves around his torso. They squeezed, tightly, and then a mass of blonde ringlets bounced into view by his left elbow.
Sheldon glared. “Don’t call me Moonpie,” he said through gritted teeth.
Penny just laughed delightedly and gave him another squeeze. “I thought I was going to have to spend hours looking for you, but here you are!” She said with a grin. “This is going to be so much fun!”
She let go of Sheldon and stepped back, and Sheldon noticed that she was wearing the red uniform of a Starship Yeoman, and there were two large duffel bags on the ground behind her. Sheldon’s eyes widened.
“You’re assigned to the Intrepid?!” He exclaimed.
Penny nodded, still grinning. “Yep!” She said. “Surprise!”
Penny was assigned to the Intrepid, to Sheldon’s ship, Sheldon’s refuge. They were leaving for a three-year deep-space mission, and Penny would be there, the entire time. Really, he should have expected it - she had somehow wormed her way into almost every aspect of his life at the Academy, due first to his roommate’s infatuation with her, and later to her belief that they were friends. And... well, yes, they were. Eventually. But just because she was his friend, didn’t mean that Sheldon didn’t find Penny incredibly irritating. She was messy, and she never knocked. She was always invading his living space, and she frequently beat him at computer games. She had looked after him when he was sick, but she had also given him a black eye. She insisted on calling him Moonpie. She hugged.
There were so many different reactions that Sheldon could have to the news that she would be his colleague for the next three years, most of them involving words his mother would hit him for or tears, but he settled on the calmest he could manage.
“New personnel were expected to report an hour and a half ago,” he said.
Penny rolled her eyes. “I know, there was a transporter malfunction in Omaha - sorry Captain,” she said, turning to Reighan, who was looking highly amused. “I hope you got my message.”
“I did, Ensign, glad you made it,” the Captain said. “I see you two know each other.”
Penny grinned. “We lived across the hall from each other at the Academy,” she said. “He helped me with my Subspace Communicative Physics assignments, and I helped him dress properly.”
Sheldon flushed with equal parts annoyance and embarrassment, while the Captain and Admiral laughed. He scowled at Penny, who just winked at him.
“Well, Cooper, why don’t you help Yeoman Forbes get settled in?” The Captain said. “I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do.”
Hardly - Penny sent him ridiculously long communiqués every single week - but Sheldon knew better than to try to refuse. It seemed he had lost Admiral Binns’ attention anyway, as he only had eyes for Penny. Typical.
“Good luck Penny,” he said fondly.
Sheldon did a double-take at that, and then saw Penny give him an affectionate smile. “Thanks Ron,” she said. “Take care.”
She picked up one of her duffel bags and pushed it towards Sheldon, who caught it clumsily around the middle. She picked up her other bag and started up the ramp onto the ship. Sheldon shook his head and turned back to the Admiral.
“Um, goodbye, Admiral.”
The Admiral nodded. “Take care of Penny, Cooper - best Yeoman I ever had,” he said.
Sheldon had no answer for that, so he just shouldered Penny’s duffel bag and followed her onboard.
~*~
An hour later, Sheldon sat down in front of computer terminal in his quarters and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Computer, hail Lieutenant Junior Grade Leonard Hofstadter, Starbase Six.”
The computer beeped, and a few moments later the soothing voice of the computer announced that the hail was being received, and Leonard’s face flickered into view on the small screen in front of him.
“Hey... I think I know what this is about,” Leonard said straight away.
Sheldon glared at him. “Why didn’t you tell me Penny was assigned to the Intrepid?” He demanded.
Leonard didn’t even bother trying to deny knowledge of it - he just held up his hands. “She made me promise not to,” he said. “She wanted it to be a surprise.”
“I hate surprises,” Sheldon stated coldly.
Leonard shrugged. “Well, she’s there, and there’s not much you can do about it,” he said truthfully. Damn him. “Anyway, it’s not a big deal, is it? I mean, you get on with Penny.”
“Well yes, in small doses,” Sheldon said. “But she’s already planned our coinciding free shifts for the next one-hundred-and-twenty hours!”
Leonard smiled. “It’s a big ship Sheldon, and you work in completely different divisions,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll be able to avoid her if that’s what you...” His voice trailed off as he caught sight of the look of mingled annoyance and despair on Sheldon’s face, and he suddenly seemed to fighting back a grin. “She’s living opposite you, isn’t she?”
“Directly opposite,” Sheldon said drily.
Leonard tried to cover his laugh with a cough, but it was a poor attempt. Sheldon glared again. “This is not funny.”
“It kinda is.”
“No, it is not!” Sheldon exclaimed. “I spent the last six months aboard this ship cultivating professional relationships with my colleagues, and developing a strict routine, and you just know that the first thing Penny will do will be to wantonly destroy my routines and worm her way into my private and professional life... it’s what she always does.”
Leonard was still (infuriatingly!) smiling, and just shrugged again when Sheldon had finished talking. “You know what, you should count yourself lucky that you’ve got a friend on board,” he said. “Three years is a long time, Sheldon.”
Sheldon pursed his lips, refusing to acknowledge the point, but unwilling to directly oppose it either.
“So... when are you arriving at Starbase Six?” Leonard asked.
“Four weeks.”
“Cool, looking forward to it,” Leonard said. “I gotta go.”
“Very well, I will see you then.”
“Bye Leonard!”
Both Sheldon and Leonard jumped at the sound of Penny’s voice in the room with Sheldon, and Leonard failed once again in disguising his laugh as he disconnected their call. Sheldon turned in his seat to find Penny sitting at one end of his low-slung couch, smiling at him.
“How long have you been sitting there?”
“Only a few seconds,” Penny said. “Why? Ooh - were you talking about me?”
Sheldon scowled. “You’re sitting in my spot.”