The Fail Tales of Paper Towns.

[shel_chan]

You know these kinds of situations when you tell yourself - this kind of epic failure can only happen to me? Do you feel like you could use a laugh? Why not let me tell you my latest story? The one when I arrive home and instead of five rat females I left in the closed cage, I only find four.

It starts with how I left the flat in yesterday morning, to attend the shared wedding of the two of my cousins, and I left the rats here, as well. I'll skip the details on the weddings - same old bored, boring and antisocial Sheltie, that's nothing new; besides, it's all on Twitter. And then I got back this evening and went straight to the cage to check on my girls - and no matter how I counted, there were only four of them, Merlin nowhere to be seen. Of course, Merlin is the one I rather hope have been awaiting babies with Bendy.

After searching through the whole flat, I found her... on the worst place possible, of course: under/behind the kitchen counter. One that proved to be impossible to be moved or dismantled to see if there are any rat babies under it (I tried).

So: two possible scenarios. Let's make this into a diagram:

1. Merlin has already given birth to the babies
   1.  I'll have to get them out of there -> proved impossible
   2. we'll have to let her feed them and wait for her / make her to carry them out by herself -> no idea how
2. Merlin is still in waiting
   •  we'll have to catch her and put her in the cage -> already done

As you can see, those two options are diametrally different. Thus

• I have to find out if she's still pregnant or not any more

How to do that? Oh, let's compare her weight to previous data.

1. borrow a pair of kitchen scales from a neighbour
2. get the rat from under the counter
3. find out how to determine weight of a rat in bowl when it's squirming terribly on that rather wibbly kind of old scales

Alright, check all three points. What did I find out?

• weight of rat + bowl = 325 g, means rat = approx. 275 g
• weight of rat before the time of mating: 277 g
• weight of rat a week ago: 305 g

What does it mean? It means she lost all the weight I made her gain OTL What can that mean, pray tell?

1. bad possibility: she's already given birth
2. less bad possibility: she's just hungry

How do we determine? Can't. There's another pointing aspect, though!!!

1. length of gestation period in rats: 28 days according to darcia_alpha
2.  check calendary: today's exactly the day
3. freak out
4. try to reason and calm down, because it's unlikely they mated right on the first day
5. recheck
6. length of gestation period in rats according to darcia_alpha after consulting the internet: 21 - 24 days
7. freak out again from the very start, because it's extremely possible her date was either today or even yesterday

...Then we thought of another pointing aspect - and guess what? It could be actually helpful!

• good thing: little rats squeak
• bad thing: only when they don't sleep, which is for majority of the day
• good thing: they feed incredibly often
• conclusion: if we take Merlin away, they WILL eventually squeak
• ...until they're dead OTL

So - whatever. I've taken Merlin outta there and into a cage, and if I hear the kids squeaking under the counter, Imma panic again. No sooner. Enough drama for one night (even when it made me... feel... idk, alive? I mean, I had to THINK. And take some kind of action. And and... anyway.)
I think I'll take her to ultrasonography tomorrow, just to be sure, fuck.
Because, you know...

• she may not be pregnant at all 8DDD

Seriously, I'm just laughing by now. I can't even. This kind of shit can only happen to me, I swear.
Everyone, have a nice evening. I should indulge myself in studying Gentics now OTL

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EDIT (2011-06-27): Passed the Genetics exam! I got only E, but fffff idec! Also got B from Grooming and Exterior Judging. And my last exam is on Thursday. Me gusta.
On other news, I went to clinics today - finished the internships! Also, took Merlin with me and to USG. She probably isn't pregnant - and she hasn't been. Oh well.