i'd rather be a mystery...
There's something very soothing about John Mayer's 'Any Given Thursday' album. It takes me back to sitting in my car parked on West Cliff listening to it. I found peace, a small bit of peace, listening to this album while looking at the ocean. I need some of that now -- I feel overwhelmed, tired, irritated, slow, drained, exhausted, bored, dull ... and everything that can be used to describe fatigue and burn out. I love my job, but I'm very tired of doing it.
And so I've been seeing movies. Lots of movies. Borat. Casino Royale. The Queen. Stranger Than Fiction. I love going to the movies. I like buying the ticket, I like finding a seat. I like chit chatting before the previews. I love the previews. I like being engrossed in a movie. I like laughing out loud. I like being excited and pleased with on screen romance. I like understanding the plot or feeling appreciative of the creativity. And I like discussing it afterwards with my movie buddy. I like quoting back funny bits or analyzing the subtle nuances. I like the pleasure of sharing my review with someone else.
I'm glad Devin is in town right now. I am happy to hang out with him and go see movies. It's easy, chill, no pressure. I like no pressure. I dislike planning, organizing, stroking someone's ego, being cautious of someone's ego. I like just being me and not being judged or feeling like I might be judged.
I crave sunshine, sand, ocean waves, freedom and being carefree. I need it. But I also just need to see movies with my friends and take pleasure in that. I need to not think about work, about AGC, about growing up, responsibilities, money and being lonely. (Just as 'Love Song for No One' starts). I need to not think about that and ... focus on the fun, the escape. Great, I need to be avoidant and live in a fantasy world. No ... I need to just take pleasure in the simple things and not get too wrapped up in the stuff that just is what it is.
Since I fail daily/nightly to update my day to day journal, here are my star reviews for the movies:
Borat - 4 stars of 5. Wonderfully hilarious.
Casino Royale - 3.5 stars of 5. The new Bond is good. He's beefy. Overall I liked the film. The opening chase stunts were amazing (he springboarded off a building piece!) The girl was very pretty. I'd try to look like her if I could...
The Queen - 3 of 5. Very slow and I wasn't in the mood for slow. Well done, very interesting and an insightful look into the British monarchy. Too bad people no longer like Blair. I wonder if the Queen or Blair saw this movie.
Stranger Than Fiction - 3 stars of 5. Clever. How was his watch going to lead to his death? Because it was set 3 minutes off! Brilliant. I didn't catch that. Maggie G. was the best of all. Will Ferrell wasn't enough into the role. Though as Dev suggested, Jim Carrey for the role might have been better. I say he would have been too much. Clever, clever.
I love the movies. I can't get enough. And yet ... I thankfully don't just want to live watching movies. I just don't know what I really want or how to go about finding it. I just go day by day doing what I do and somehow that's life. Should I have a plan?
And by the way, I LOVE this Powerbook keyboard. I need to type so, so, so much more. Too bad I didn't have this during college, it's an absolutely fan-fucking-tastic keyboard. This is why I bought it. Love, love, love.
"If I can go anywhere at all..." Top 5:
1. Santa Monica beach
2. London
3. Hawai'i
4. Greek Isles
5. John Mayer/Maroon 5 concert from July 2004
I feel happier than I have in a long time. But I know I'm still tired and I need to talk to Mike/Desi about it. They may not have a solution, but they need to find one. I will get through this weird time. I will make changes in my life that will slowly change me and my actions. It may be minute details, possibly they will go unnoticed, but it will lead to a new Shelley. Shelley will evolve? Nah, Shelley will be Shelley, but a little happier.
Off to brush my teeth, wash my face, climb into my comfy warm bed and dream of the beach and lying in the sun. Forget the cold, wind, rain and dream of blue skies instead.
Good night.
And so I've been seeing movies. Lots of movies. Borat. Casino Royale. The Queen. Stranger Than Fiction. I love going to the movies. I like buying the ticket, I like finding a seat. I like chit chatting before the previews. I love the previews. I like being engrossed in a movie. I like laughing out loud. I like being excited and pleased with on screen romance. I like understanding the plot or feeling appreciative of the creativity. And I like discussing it afterwards with my movie buddy. I like quoting back funny bits or analyzing the subtle nuances. I like the pleasure of sharing my review with someone else.
I'm glad Devin is in town right now. I am happy to hang out with him and go see movies. It's easy, chill, no pressure. I like no pressure. I dislike planning, organizing, stroking someone's ego, being cautious of someone's ego. I like just being me and not being judged or feeling like I might be judged.
I crave sunshine, sand, ocean waves, freedom and being carefree. I need it. But I also just need to see movies with my friends and take pleasure in that. I need to not think about work, about AGC, about growing up, responsibilities, money and being lonely. (Just as 'Love Song for No One' starts). I need to not think about that and ... focus on the fun, the escape. Great, I need to be avoidant and live in a fantasy world. No ... I need to just take pleasure in the simple things and not get too wrapped up in the stuff that just is what it is.
Since I fail daily/nightly to update my day to day journal, here are my star reviews for the movies:
Borat - 4 stars of 5. Wonderfully hilarious.
Casino Royale - 3.5 stars of 5. The new Bond is good. He's beefy. Overall I liked the film. The opening chase stunts were amazing (he springboarded off a building piece!) The girl was very pretty. I'd try to look like her if I could...
The Queen - 3 of 5. Very slow and I wasn't in the mood for slow. Well done, very interesting and an insightful look into the British monarchy. Too bad people no longer like Blair. I wonder if the Queen or Blair saw this movie.
Stranger Than Fiction - 3 stars of 5. Clever. How was his watch going to lead to his death? Because it was set 3 minutes off! Brilliant. I didn't catch that. Maggie G. was the best of all. Will Ferrell wasn't enough into the role. Though as Dev suggested, Jim Carrey for the role might have been better. I say he would have been too much. Clever, clever.
I love the movies. I can't get enough. And yet ... I thankfully don't just want to live watching movies. I just don't know what I really want or how to go about finding it. I just go day by day doing what I do and somehow that's life. Should I have a plan?
And by the way, I LOVE this Powerbook keyboard. I need to type so, so, so much more. Too bad I didn't have this during college, it's an absolutely fan-fucking-tastic keyboard. This is why I bought it. Love, love, love.
"If I can go anywhere at all..." Top 5:
1. Santa Monica beach
2. London
3. Hawai'i
4. Greek Isles
5. John Mayer/Maroon 5 concert from July 2004
I feel happier than I have in a long time. But I know I'm still tired and I need to talk to Mike/Desi about it. They may not have a solution, but they need to find one. I will get through this weird time. I will make changes in my life that will slowly change me and my actions. It may be minute details, possibly they will go unnoticed, but it will lead to a new Shelley. Shelley will evolve? Nah, Shelley will be Shelley, but a little happier.
Off to brush my teeth, wash my face, climb into my comfy warm bed and dream of the beach and lying in the sun. Forget the cold, wind, rain and dream of blue skies instead.
Good night.