(no subject)
ok so i'm really messing up my life. my grades are so bad and i can't seem to care enough to get them back up. well actually i did bring them up a little bit but i hate this! it was so easy to do my work when i like my skool. now that i hate it... fukk the only reason i go any more is to see my baby acuz i cant leave her she'd be very sadly like. i'm sick of leaving people i dont want to do it again just acuz i am stupid. i was thinking last night. listen to country music and i heard a song about this guy who leaves for the army two days after he turns eighteen n i just started crying. my brother leaves two days after he turns eighteen. i love him so much. our relationship is a little tressed because i started so much shit but he was the one that kept me alive when nuthin else would. i swear to all the gods that if anything happens to my brother i will end sum1's life. there are certain people in my life who mean so much to me that i would rather destroy the world then live without them. corey is one of them amongst few others. any ways so it got me thinking. i have like no future anymore no way ill get into college the way im going and i cant stay with my parent (or grandparents) after i turn 18. i mean i could but i wont. so maybe i will join the army too. theres some kind of plan in that. i never wanted to before, but my mother says it would be a good idea. something about me learning dicipline. ehh well i dunno i have a little bit of time to decide. any input would be appeciated. ok well this weekend sucked, i had to work late on friday and saturday, then when i got home sat it was kinda ok acuzme n gramma n sami had a lil family movie thing. then i went in my room n called a hailey she was busy but called me back later. we only talked for a few then she was tired so i said goodbye. i wanna talka her i miss her. wont be able to all week again acuz my fone is gone during week time so i will do my work (yeah right). so yeah. "haileyness i miss the you very muchly so" ok well hmm. i miss aktie too. havent seen her in two days! it sucks acuz shes not having such a good time with her grandparents (parents are in mexico) n i wish i could be there to make things better. hmm well uhm yeah thats pretty much it. now i just wanna write something. ill do it in a different entry tho so i dont confuse n e one. uhmm i love you guys (well most of you) bibi