I'm not here and it's any other time than now.

[sheisdisastrous]

I'm not going to lie anymore. Sometimes I make up false excuses to cry. I don't know why I'd do such a thing but it happens and I don't regret it. I just stand there and cry and cry and they console. I don't need that. If no one would watch it would go away and of course one day it may come back but for the time being, I would stop. But they don't understand that. They have to instigate and I breathe too heavily and drag my fingers under my eyes. A good cry is healthy every now and then. I don't know why I do it.

Alright, I lied again. I know why I do it. I do it to let it all out. Let it all out and breath it all in, he would reassure me. Then everything that was making you heavy will let go.

Hopefully I'm going to chelseas tomorrow.