The "He-Man Is Gay" Evidence Post, Part One (All about Prince Adam, a.k.a. He-Man)
My obsession with Cake brought this one up, seriously.
The other day there was this random comparison between Chris Rich and He-Man in the Cake comm. And I happened to be in a total state of crackjaya when I was reading that with
akari_hayashi. Our conversation (mainly consisted of me being crack and her suffering through my hyperactiveness) led to this theory about He-Man being gay and She-Ra being his wonderful faghag.
This is Prince Adam.
Prince Adam has a great sense of fashion.
He has a full head of smooth, tame blonde hair in bob style, which he probably spends a lot of time taking care of. He wears tight white shirt with coral (not red, not pink) tunic, lavender tights with purple panties on top like Superman, with matching purple boots completed with white fur trims. Oh, and a black belt with golden buckle which helps making the waist looks smaller.
The purple panties really showcase his nice ass.
Prince Adam is picky with his nighties too.
Tight white sleeveless with a deep-V and matching white loincloth (not boxer, trust me) in the same eye-blinding white. And possibly go commando underneath.
Prince Adam cares about his beauty sleep and so does his feline friend Cringer.
(Cringer really is telling Adam that it needs its beauty sleep. No kidding.)
When Prince Adam can't sleep, he takes out his secret sex toy sword from its secret hiding place to play.
Notice how amazing his sex toy sword is. It automatically grows bigger when it's out of its storing place!
Edit #1: Just how could I forgot to include this,
The sextoy is very important to Prince Adam. It is the key to his enlightenment. How could we forget his marvelous introduction at the beginning of every episode: "Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said... By the power of Greyskull!"
And let's not forget, "Only a few others share this secret... The Sorceress, Man-At-Arms and Orko."
Adam's favourite past-time activity besides playing with his sex toys sword also includes going on picnic alone with bedfellow secret-keeper, good friend and mentor Man-At-Arms and his kitten Cringer.
How adorable Adam's pose is.
While we are at Man-At-Arms, just how gay this picture of him is.
(It reminds me of some Eighties gay porn.)
Prince Adam transforms into his warrior alter-ego He-Man.
(We will come to She-Ra later.)
He-Man has a great sense of style, too. He-Man is all tanned and wears a darker blonde hair in the same bob style as Adam. He dresses much sexier than Adam,. He skips the tights and wears only a pair of crimson (not coral, not red) furry panties, with fur-trimmed boots in matching crimson colour. He also wears an armour-ish vest thingy which show-off his great body and arm!porn. Apparently, He-Man works out a lot. And is an exhibitionist.
Edit #2: He-Man doesn't wear a cape like other traditional heroes (e.g. Superman and Batman) or faghag She-Ra and her gangs of faghags girls or Bow who is gay, too.
This is important! Because a cape would block the view of He-Man's nice ass, which his big asset. He-Man is kind of obsessed with showing off his cute butt. He does it in bendy pose, swishy pose, legs open wide, etc. You'll lose count of how many time he shows off his butt in one episode. And I'm betting the back of his knees are extra sensitive.
When Adam transforms into He-Man, Cringer transforms into Battle Cat, which He-Man rides on usually and it's a strong beast.
He-Man adores glitters.
But he doesn't like vaginas.
He-Man: Guuuhhhhh!!! Stop!! Why are you touching!!
He-Man: Right. just one kiss, right? And you sure you're going to let go, right?
He-Man: Okay, Get on with it already!
He-Man: Come on, bitch. Finish it quick!
He-Man: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Seriously, She-Ra's reaction to all these? She is amusedjaya.
She-Ra: 10 bucks on him throwing up right after the kiss.
She-Ra: There it goes!
She-Ra: Oh My God! He looks like he's going to faint!
She-Ra: Te-hee. I win! Happyjaya.
(I kid you not. Check out the episode "Sweet Bee's Home" for more faghag!She-ra and He-Man's dismay at Frosta hitting on him. Copied straight from He-man.org: He-Man's face changes 61 times in this one shot... Usually there would not be that many He-Man expressions in one episode. But in this one shot the director has to have He-Man outraged by his sister's comment; realize that if he says the wrong thing he'll offend Frosta... look at the audience to show his dismay... look back at Frosta; look skyward in annoyance... )
Still, he likes flirting with the laaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddiiiiiieeeessssss like one Mr. Blake Lewis. But he often needs help from faghag and beard Teela to get away from the ladies when the situation gets out of hand.
This is a script of a deleted scene. Obviously, the animators felt the need to cover up He-Man's gayness (Seriously, flirting with two chicks for two hours and no action? I'm not buying it, yo). He needs to learn some survival skills indeed, in order to say no to the vaginas.
Random gay things about He-Man:
Skeletor is his biggest gay enemy who possibly has a crush on He-Man.
Skeletor: *Sigh* Why doesn't He-Man likes me? I am pretty, damn it.
Edit #3: Oh, and just what Skeletor's favourite line is? "Surrender to meeeeeee, He-Man!!!!!!"
This is King Randor, Prince Adam's father, who is totally hot and manly unlike his son
(I just want to post this 'cause he's damn hot and reminds me of Viggo Mortensen.)
Next up: She-Ra and her gang of faghags and gays.