[ Private ] Late bloomers.
There are still flowers out on the farm. It's not really fall yet, but still, it was such a baking summer that I figured everything would be brown and crispy by now but he managed to find wildflowers I bet he went down by the treehouse cos the crick runs right by it and it's shady and there are probably still flowers and stuff down there but anyway he found daisies and some Queen Anne's lace and Indian paintbrushes and a couple of cattails and something else I dunno the name of and made up a really really pretty bouquet in a vase with a ribbon and when I got back from class today it was on my windowsill with the afternoon sun slanting through and making the leaves and petals all gilded and gorgeous.
And he left a cd and I can tell it's him playing I'd recognize it anywhere but I don't know the songs and I think- I think he wrote them himself. And he gave them to me.
I think he's going to really do it. I didn't believe he was gonna I mean before classes ever started up again he asked me what it was gonna take and I told him but he didn't seem to want to do it but then he told me he just didn't get it and I think now he does, and now he's going to do it.
I'm nervous. I'm scared. He wanted me and I let him have me and then he didn't want me anymore so there is still this doubt, this fear that if I let him have me again he won't want me anymore, again, and I don't think I could live this time. I think it would break me.
Part of me says I shouldn't give him the chance to break me, but I don't think I have a choice, because the rest of me has already decided to.
We'll see what happens. He has a long way to go before he's back in my good graces, but- but it doesn't hurt as much now, to think about him, and it's easier to remember the good things.
The songs are really good. I made one into a ringtone and set it for him in my phone.
And he left a cd and I can tell it's him playing I'd recognize it anywhere but I don't know the songs and I think- I think he wrote them himself. And he gave them to me.
I think he's going to really do it. I didn't believe he was gonna I mean before classes ever started up again he asked me what it was gonna take and I told him but he didn't seem to want to do it but then he told me he just didn't get it and I think now he does, and now he's going to do it.
I'm nervous. I'm scared. He wanted me and I let him have me and then he didn't want me anymore so there is still this doubt, this fear that if I let him have me again he won't want me anymore, again, and I don't think I could live this time. I think it would break me.
Part of me says I shouldn't give him the chance to break me, but I don't think I have a choice, because the rest of me has already decided to.
We'll see what happens. He has a long way to go before he's back in my good graces, but- but it doesn't hurt as much now, to think about him, and it's easier to remember the good things.
The songs are really good. I made one into a ringtone and set it for him in my phone.