Noodles, part two of two
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"I told you I could do it!" Sandburg bellowed, glaring.
"Yeah, well, I told you, so could I," Ellison bellowed back.
"Moron! No-one was going to believe you were a civilian observer! You look COP when you're asleep. If we sliced you and diced you it would say COP on the little pieces. I bet it says COP on your underwear."
"It says Calvin Klein on my underwear like everyone else's," Ellison bellowed back, "And I could too have done Bad Cop, I just wouldn't have done it quite like that."
"Well I told you I could do it!" Sandburg bellowed.
"I never said you couldn't, Chief," Ellison bellowed back. The bullpen went a little quieter as if to compensate for the noise, as if the ambient decibels had to remain balanced at a particular level.
"Then why did you use a double-headed penny when we tossed for good cop/bad cop? Six and a half freaking YEARS, Jim, I've been a cop here, and I STILL get no respect!"
"Because I'm ALWAYS THE BAD COP!"
"WELL GET USED TO BEING THE GOOD COP BECAUSE YOUR BAD COP DAYS ARE OVER!"
"LISTEN TO ME CHIEF, IF I SAY I'M THE BAD COP THEN I'M THE BAD COP."
"OH YEAH? SO IF I SAY I'M THE EMPEROR OF CHINA WILL YOU BRING ME NOODLES?"
"Ahem."
Some sounds don't have to be loud. Simon's throat-clearing technique was not only more effective than his bellow, it was easier on the vocal chords. The entire bullpen had made Sandburg get the donuts for a week for suggesting Simon go on that assertiveness training course.
"Gentlemen. My office, if you'd be so kind."
Sarcasm was worse than the old fashioned ass-chewing, too.
"Now. Who did what to who? Sandburg?"
"I caught Jim using a double headed penny when we tossed up to decide who was good cop and who was bad cop for the Webber interrogation."
"Very good report, Sandburg, very succinct. Oh, and good work on the interrogation and rescue, by the way. Ellison?"
Ellison thought about it, then shuffled a little and looked down at the floor.
"I'm ALWAYS the bad cop," he muttered.
"Well, clearly not any more. Today, you're the good cop," Simon explained gently. "And Sandburg here is the Emperor of China, the bullpen is having Chinese for lunch, and you're paying. Oh, and Sandburg is having the noodles."
Sometimes, it's good to be Captain.