Needing a place to rant even though ive been through it over 20 times this week
Matt has made a decision to move to Barrie.
I am staying in Toronto. I have no car. he has no car. And it is long distance to call to Barrie.
All i can say is that although he and i talked a lot after i freaked a little and we both cried a little, I am still very upset with him for this and i will continue to be for a while i think.
Im just so angry with him for being over optimistic when i can see this being so horribly hard. As is right now, we travel 45 minutes by car to see each other and see each other like once a week during the summer and a little less during the school year. Now, not only will the drive be about 35-40 minutes longer, but he will be long distance to call, making the expenses and obstacles in our way worse.
I just wish he could have taken more time, maybe even give me more warning about this rather than spring it on me in his excitement while all i can think of is how im gonna say good-bye.
Why is it that as soon as i am close to someone, another obstacle is thrown at me. and you know what? i dont even think i see a future with him anymore. Quite honestly i am starting to just not want to be part of his life or have him in mine. Its useless and i really am angry with him right now.
and then when i told him all this he said that if i thought it would end he wouldnt move... which CLEARLY i couldnt let happen cause then id be to blame for him not moving his life in a new direction and holding him back.. so obviously he is moving.
There is really nothing i can do right now is just be angry with him and at the same time wait to see if i was right that we are going to fall apart shortly.
this blows.. im going to go nap..
I am staying in Toronto. I have no car. he has no car. And it is long distance to call to Barrie.
All i can say is that although he and i talked a lot after i freaked a little and we both cried a little, I am still very upset with him for this and i will continue to be for a while i think.
Im just so angry with him for being over optimistic when i can see this being so horribly hard. As is right now, we travel 45 minutes by car to see each other and see each other like once a week during the summer and a little less during the school year. Now, not only will the drive be about 35-40 minutes longer, but he will be long distance to call, making the expenses and obstacles in our way worse.
I just wish he could have taken more time, maybe even give me more warning about this rather than spring it on me in his excitement while all i can think of is how im gonna say good-bye.
Why is it that as soon as i am close to someone, another obstacle is thrown at me. and you know what? i dont even think i see a future with him anymore. Quite honestly i am starting to just not want to be part of his life or have him in mine. Its useless and i really am angry with him right now.
and then when i told him all this he said that if i thought it would end he wouldnt move... which CLEARLY i couldnt let happen cause then id be to blame for him not moving his life in a new direction and holding him back.. so obviously he is moving.
There is really nothing i can do right now is just be angry with him and at the same time wait to see if i was right that we are going to fall apart shortly.
this blows.. im going to go nap..