[Private] Scribbles
While I was looking for my Psych notes from sixth year on the chaos that is the manor's library, I found an old leather-cover notebook. The pages were yellow, and some of them looked as though they were about to break free from the binding. The words were written in alternate languages and symbols, but each of them looked alive, full of power and history.
Clow's handwriting. In Latin, and Cantonese, and something that looked like modern English but I wasn't sure. Messy and almost savage.
There are quite a few of these notes hidden between the bookshelves. Even when I remembered, I never paid a lot of attention to them. Spinel was the only one reading them, with something similar to reverence in his eyes. I never needed them since everything on them was already on my head. Now it isn't.
How strange. I can read the words, but I can't get a damn from the meaning behind them. All esoterism is gone from my head. I have no idea what he was writing about in those. I wonder if this is supposed to be liberating or depressing. I feel a but of both.
Sometimes I think I should gather all these notes and burn them, as they come from Clow and I dislike to be surrounded by his insane mind, fearing I could also become mad just by the link. Then I think I'm being silly. His life -his excess of life- was what brought him there, and my existence can't be following those footsteps. Besides, those notes were written in a time Clow was as normal as I was -which is not exactly sanity, but you know. I like to think I do follow a logical pattern of conduct. Except when I'm drunk.
So I left the notebook where I found it. As a memento.
I wonder whether I should buy SimCity 4. Ages of Empire is growing old on me. I want to create something instead of destroying, for a change. And those The Sims games are not of my taste; there's not so much of free will on them.