[Dream] Corvidae
I kept walking in the astral twilight, although my feet couldn't step on anything below me. The surrounding stars were my only travel companions and guides. Time passed by, if such a thing existed. There was no road or horizon or something in this galaxy to lead me. I never felt tired, hungry, thirsty, or sleepy. The only thing filling me was the peace and silence.
Could I live my life like that, eternally?
No, I knew I couldn't. I was looking for something.
What was it, though?
I kept walking on.
Years, decades, centuries, millenniums later, I found a shadow. It was staring at me. Before my legs could get closer, its wings spread and it flew away.
Was that it? Was I looking for that? It didn't matter; I lacked the luxury to think it over. I chased it anyway.
I ran below the sombre shadow above me for days, weeks, months, years. There was nothing else in my universe. I couldn't let it get away from me. I wished I could fly, but my material shape was unable to take off the invisible path I was on. Somehow, that depressed me. I wanted to be up there with the shadow.
One fine day, we arrived to a dead tree in the middle of nowhere. The shadow landed on a dark branch. Before I could make a choice, I was already climbing.
The shadow wasn't really a shadow. It was just a black bird. I suppose it was a crow, considering it was too small to be a raven. He stared at me. If he had lips, he'd be grinning as well.
"This place is nice, don't you think?" Said the voice who greeted me when I was born to that world. "Sit on the branch, please."
"So you were the crow all this time?" I asked the voice.
"Yes and no. I took a form since you looked confused. A form you could understand and relate to."
"How can I relate to a crow? I'm a human being."
"It's beyond species. You can be a crow while you're a human. Ku. Rou."
Something about the way it mentioned the word would've made me shudder, if my skin could feel anything. The tree I was on had no texture.
"Do you know," said the crow, "who you are yet?"
"No. The only thing I feel is that I don't really fit in here and I shouldn't be here."
"It's not like you could fit in, caw!"
"How come, my friend?"
"It's a paradox. Besides, you're too material to be in a spiritual plane forever. Nothing here is material but you. Not the tree, not the crow. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. You're the reality in the illusion, matey."
"I see."
Silence.
"Then," I went on," what I look for can't be material. I've been wasting my time trying to seek objects or persons."
"There's no such thing as a waste of time here. Time doesn't matter here, and neither does space."
"Still, I was wrong."
"Were you?" The crow seemed to enjoy himself.
I sighed.
"Are you the most important one here? Or is it this tree? Or something else?"
"I'm not material. I told you. I'm not even a crow."
"It doesn't matter. In an intangible world, the master should also be intangible."
"Pardon me, but that's bullshit. The important one is the creator. This place can't be created by illusions. You know what's necessary for creation in general?"
"M.E.S. which stands for Matter, Energy, and Soul." How did I know that?
"Precisely. Nothing of that can come from something that's not real. You can create something lacking any of those factors, but not all of them."
I meditated about it. There were two possibilities. I went with the least overwhelming one.
"The creator made me?"
"No."
"The creator was the one who made me come here?"
"Absolutely." I was right, then.
"Then the creator is not in this world."
"Oh, but he is. Partially. In a way."
"But if I'm here, and you said I'm the only material here, he cannot be here. Unless..."
"Yes?"
"Unless I'm the creator."
"Caw! It took you long!" The crow flew to me and landed on my leg. His tiny black eyes stared.
Why did I create this place? Why am I there? Why does the crow say I'm only partially inside the twilight?
"This is not something one decides to create; it just exists along with you. You're here and you're not at the same time because your matter cannot enter this world, so your body awaits for you somewhere else until you find again what has always been here."
"Did you read my mind?"
The crow laughed loudly.
"You just open your mouth to 'speak' out of habit. But in this plane, you have no vocal chords for that. You're never talking. They're always thoughts. I can hear you even when you don't move your mouth and tongue. And vice versa. This is why I don't bother to open my beak. Also... your mind isn't something you can read. There are no words on it."
More silence. I stared at the crow's feathers. I decided not to 'speak' anymore.
Why did I create you?
"Because it's easier for you to visually have a two-sided dialogue, and you needed to delude yourself that you aren't alone when, in fact, you are."
Of course. It made sense. Because I'm the only one who can be tangible.
Then... the crow is me?
"Oh please... I'm just a part of you. Get it right!"
Could I live my life like that, eternally?
No, I knew I couldn't. I was looking for something.
What was it, though?
I kept walking on.
Years, decades, centuries, millenniums later, I found a shadow. It was staring at me. Before my legs could get closer, its wings spread and it flew away.
Was that it? Was I looking for that? It didn't matter; I lacked the luxury to think it over. I chased it anyway.
I ran below the sombre shadow above me for days, weeks, months, years. There was nothing else in my universe. I couldn't let it get away from me. I wished I could fly, but my material shape was unable to take off the invisible path I was on. Somehow, that depressed me. I wanted to be up there with the shadow.
One fine day, we arrived to a dead tree in the middle of nowhere. The shadow landed on a dark branch. Before I could make a choice, I was already climbing.
The shadow wasn't really a shadow. It was just a black bird. I suppose it was a crow, considering it was too small to be a raven. He stared at me. If he had lips, he'd be grinning as well.
"This place is nice, don't you think?" Said the voice who greeted me when I was born to that world. "Sit on the branch, please."
"So you were the crow all this time?" I asked the voice.
"Yes and no. I took a form since you looked confused. A form you could understand and relate to."
"How can I relate to a crow? I'm a human being."
"It's beyond species. You can be a crow while you're a human. Ku. Rou."
Something about the way it mentioned the word would've made me shudder, if my skin could feel anything. The tree I was on had no texture.
"Do you know," said the crow, "who you are yet?"
"No. The only thing I feel is that I don't really fit in here and I shouldn't be here."
"It's not like you could fit in, caw!"
"How come, my friend?"
"It's a paradox. Besides, you're too material to be in a spiritual plane forever. Nothing here is material but you. Not the tree, not the crow. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. You're the reality in the illusion, matey."
"I see."
Silence.
"Then," I went on," what I look for can't be material. I've been wasting my time trying to seek objects or persons."
"There's no such thing as a waste of time here. Time doesn't matter here, and neither does space."
"Still, I was wrong."
"Were you?" The crow seemed to enjoy himself.
I sighed.
"Are you the most important one here? Or is it this tree? Or something else?"
"I'm not material. I told you. I'm not even a crow."
"It doesn't matter. In an intangible world, the master should also be intangible."
"Pardon me, but that's bullshit. The important one is the creator. This place can't be created by illusions. You know what's necessary for creation in general?"
"M.E.S. which stands for Matter, Energy, and Soul." How did I know that?
"Precisely. Nothing of that can come from something that's not real. You can create something lacking any of those factors, but not all of them."
I meditated about it. There were two possibilities. I went with the least overwhelming one.
"The creator made me?"
"No."
"The creator was the one who made me come here?"
"Absolutely." I was right, then.
"Then the creator is not in this world."
"Oh, but he is. Partially. In a way."
"But if I'm here, and you said I'm the only material here, he cannot be here. Unless..."
"Yes?"
"Unless I'm the creator."
"Caw! It took you long!" The crow flew to me and landed on my leg. His tiny black eyes stared.
Why did I create this place? Why am I there? Why does the crow say I'm only partially inside the twilight?
"This is not something one decides to create; it just exists along with you. You're here and you're not at the same time because your matter cannot enter this world, so your body awaits for you somewhere else until you find again what has always been here."
"Did you read my mind?"
The crow laughed loudly.
"You just open your mouth to 'speak' out of habit. But in this plane, you have no vocal chords for that. You're never talking. They're always thoughts. I can hear you even when you don't move your mouth and tongue. And vice versa. This is why I don't bother to open my beak. Also... your mind isn't something you can read. There are no words on it."
More silence. I stared at the crow's feathers. I decided not to 'speak' anymore.
Why did I create you?
"Because it's easier for you to visually have a two-sided dialogue, and you needed to delude yourself that you aren't alone when, in fact, you are."
Of course. It made sense. Because I'm the only one who can be tangible.
Then... the crow is me?
"Oh please... I'm just a part of you. Get it right!"