(no subject)
So here are the conclusions I reached, roughly in this order.
(1) I'm not gonna finish my Ph.D here at UIUC. There isn't anyone studying within the field I want to study, and though I could make do and work with people who have somewhat similar interests, there are better places out there with people who are interested in exactly (more or less) the things I am.
(2) The plan, upon having taken the spring semester off, was to recuperate and rejoin the ranks in the fall. Thing is, I wouldn't have funding, and chances are, wouldn't have it come the spring of next year. In other words, I'm basically taking a masters here, since I'd be doing roughly the same amount of work and paying for it. Because I am paying for it, I realized, hey wait a minute, I could pay for a masters anywhere, including the school I ultimately would like to end up at.
(3) So the last questions are, how much of a rush am I in and how much security do I want? If I applied to a masters program elsewhere, I wouldn't be guarenteed to get in, and even after that, I would have to apply to Ph.D programs all over again. Who knows what that will yield? Then I thought about it, and realized, I'm not in a hurry. I'm not scared of getting old, of spending a semester or a year earning money that will help make my future endevours easier. I'm tired of being poor anyway, and as a location, Illinois really isn't the place for me to be. So no hurry. As for security, I realized that we all must take risks to get what we really want. I'm not scared of getting locked into a route I'm unhappy with, or of giving up this particular route that could get me where I want to be, cause I believe I can make this other route work too.
(4) Thus, I have decided that I'm gonna leave UIUC and Illinois altogether. I still have to talk to my advisor here, and run things by him to make sure I'm not forgetting about anything, but I'm confident I've thought this through. I'm annoyed I didn't think about it sooner, cause I could have applied to masters programs in the spring and gotten on my way faster. Now, it could be a year before I'm back in school. It's okay though. Everything will start moving come August, when I move back to NY, and either get an apartment in Brooklyn with my sister, or move into the place Sam currently resides in Westchester. Either way though, I'm coming back to the East Coast.
(5) I'm gonna finish that Me series of journal entries next time, and believe me, it'll have an exciting conclusion even if no one reads it. It's theraputic, at least.
(1) I'm not gonna finish my Ph.D here at UIUC. There isn't anyone studying within the field I want to study, and though I could make do and work with people who have somewhat similar interests, there are better places out there with people who are interested in exactly (more or less) the things I am.
(2) The plan, upon having taken the spring semester off, was to recuperate and rejoin the ranks in the fall. Thing is, I wouldn't have funding, and chances are, wouldn't have it come the spring of next year. In other words, I'm basically taking a masters here, since I'd be doing roughly the same amount of work and paying for it. Because I am paying for it, I realized, hey wait a minute, I could pay for a masters anywhere, including the school I ultimately would like to end up at.
(3) So the last questions are, how much of a rush am I in and how much security do I want? If I applied to a masters program elsewhere, I wouldn't be guarenteed to get in, and even after that, I would have to apply to Ph.D programs all over again. Who knows what that will yield? Then I thought about it, and realized, I'm not in a hurry. I'm not scared of getting old, of spending a semester or a year earning money that will help make my future endevours easier. I'm tired of being poor anyway, and as a location, Illinois really isn't the place for me to be. So no hurry. As for security, I realized that we all must take risks to get what we really want. I'm not scared of getting locked into a route I'm unhappy with, or of giving up this particular route that could get me where I want to be, cause I believe I can make this other route work too.
(4) Thus, I have decided that I'm gonna leave UIUC and Illinois altogether. I still have to talk to my advisor here, and run things by him to make sure I'm not forgetting about anything, but I'm confident I've thought this through. I'm annoyed I didn't think about it sooner, cause I could have applied to masters programs in the spring and gotten on my way faster. Now, it could be a year before I'm back in school. It's okay though. Everything will start moving come August, when I move back to NY, and either get an apartment in Brooklyn with my sister, or move into the place Sam currently resides in Westchester. Either way though, I'm coming back to the East Coast.
(5) I'm gonna finish that Me series of journal entries next time, and believe me, it'll have an exciting conclusion even if no one reads it. It's theraputic, at least.