Of legwarmers and Mini-skirts
Title: Of Legwarmers and Mini-Skirts
Pairings/Characters: Shihanchul, Kangteuk implied, and various other members, Virgin Henry
Rating: Pg-13 for language
Summary: Heechul is jealous.
Warnings: CRACK FIC!
A/N: I started writing this a while back while enjoying a severe sugar rush. I have since come down from that but wanted to finish this anyways. Loosely inspired by my Buin (Kalchan) who wanted Cross dressing Heechul, (it was also she who inspired me to put Siwon in a duck costume, don’t ask me why) and a prompt from my other non-fan girl friend who said “well one of them is jealous because the other one is prettier than them and then turns into a woman”. So yeah…Comments are love always but…I’m not really sure this deserves any kekekek.
OF LEGWARMERS AND MINI-SKIRTS
Heechul was not happy, he was not happy at all.
Now lots of things had the potential to make the resident Princess of Super Junior unhappy, but not everything could make him furious, which this thing was nearly succeeding at. What you might ask could make Heechul lose his temper? Well one should ask what DOESN’T make Heechul lose his temper, as the slightest annoyance could send him into a rage.
The point was Heechul was unhappy and angry and when Heechul was unhappy and angry no one else in the vicinity of Heechul was allowed to be jolly, not even cute cuddly pink loving bunny boys named Sungmin. Especially not cute cuddly pink loving bunny boys named Sungmin, who paraded around in a freaking adorable, freaking PINK, leg warmers. Pink legwarmers, I might add, that reduced all of the women (and some men) to slobbering heaps of goo.
Ok so they were really nearing a fuchsia shade but to Heechul’s mind anything having to do with Sungmin was automatically pink regardless of shade. The point was Sungmin + Leg Warmers= Hot. Hot = Sungmin getting more attention than certain people *cough Heechul Cough* and that meant that Heechul was not happy.
Who told the bunny boy he could wear pink leg warmers anyways? Heechul didn’t and he was fairly sure Siwon didn’t either and that meant by the transitive property that GOD had not told Sungmin it was permissible. If God had not told Sungmin to wear the leg warmers then shouldn’t God be smiting said boy? Because Heechul was pretty sure it was against the law to be looking that good in a pair of leg warmers. God should get on with the smiting already before Sungmin enticed more people to the dark side.
Ok. So maybe Heechul was over reacting a bit.
“Damn those are some sexy leg warmers!” Hangeng remarked, which earned him a death glare from Heechul.
“NO they are NOT sexy. They are HIDEOUS and should BURN in the eternal hell fires of…hell!” Ok. Definitely not over reacting, nope. What was Heechul supposed to do? His BOYFRIEND was even drooling over the bunny boy’s leg warmers. Heechul was contemplating all sorts of tortures he could inflict on Sungmin when Siwon entered the room wearing what can only be described as a lame duck costume, he wasn't wearing a George bush costume, and just a duck costume and it was pretty lame.
Everyone in the room just stared at the pretty boy who smiled broadly (not unlike Donghae when he drinks too much caffeine) and proceeded to sing "CAN CAN CAN YOU DO THE CAN CAN?”. Clearly Siwon had lost his mind.
Heechul, thinking fast, grabbed Suwon’s shoulders and shook the boy. “Hello? Siwon? Are you in there? Because I need you to tell me I’m the most beautiful thing on two legs before I go absolutely bat shit insane and murder one of my dongsaengs!”
Siwon looked thoughtful for a minute before smiling broadly again. “Hyung you know I think you are gorgeous and if I could I would take you right here but I wouldn’t want Hannie to get jealous…so I can’t right now but maybe later if you stop by my room after lights out I can…CAN CAN DO THE CAN CAN!” He winked suggestively at Heechul.
“Um…Right” Clearly Siwon was not well, but he HAD told Heechul that he thought he was gorgeous, and that was what was important right. Not the fact that Siwon had now caught site of Sungmin, who was still prancing about in his leg warmers.
“HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!! THOSE ARE FUCKING HOT!!!!” Siwon exclaimed. What was with him? Heechul wondered. He never swore. Great Not only were the leg warmers turning one of his boyfriends to goo, but now had turned the other one into a potty mouth. Heechul needed to get rid of those leg warmers and fast.
He slowly made his way through the crowd of members who had gathered around to admire Sungmin’s shapely legs and the leg warmers.
“YA! Sungmin!” Heechul began when he was close enough that he could be heard above the “Those are so cute!”S and “You look really hot!” He tried to ignore these compliments, because if anyone should be getting compliments on clothing, or accessorizing it should be HEECHUL not SUNGMIN.
“Yes Hyung?” Sungmin stared cutely at Heechul. Heechul knew that however innocent the boy looked, lurking behind those wide brown eyes was an evil demon child who was planning to steal his spotlight permanently.
“I like your leg warmers” Heechul ground out between gritted teeth.
“Oh thanks Hyung. Aren’t they great! They really show off my legs don’t you guys think?” The boy smirked and turned to the rest of the group who all nodded eagerly. Oh no he didn’t. He did not just play the innocent I’m so cute hyungs love me card. Heechul was at a slight disadvantage because the only one older than him was Eeteuk and Eeteuk played favorites, and Heechul wasn’t his.
Fine if that was how the boy was gonna play then Heechul wouldn’t hold back. He had a few tricks up his sleeve to get the attention back on him where it belonged. Especially Siwon and Hangeng’s attention, which should be reserved for Heechul and Heechul alone.
The Next Day:
Sungmin was still wearing the leg warmers. Damn it! Heechul dug through his closet trying to find an outfit that would outshine the hideous purple monstrosities that were leg warmers. He was trying to decide between the jeans that showed off his perfect ass, or the kaki’s that showed off his perfect ass.
“Hurry up Heechul! We’re gonna be late!” Siwon yelled through the door of Heechul’s closet, where said boy had barricaded himself in order to find something more attractive then the legwarmers.
Heechul was getting desperate. “Kaki’s or jeans?”
“Who cares Chullie we are going to be late!” Oh no he didn’t. Siwon did not just say that no one cared about Heechul’s clothes. Said boy pouted a bit, before he decided to get revenge, not only on the bunny-boy but also Siwon, Hangeng, and anyone else who had admired the leg warmers (i.e. EVERYONE)
So that was how Super Junior ended up running 2 hours behind schedule. The rest of the members waited impatiently in the living room while Heechul tried on every outfit he owned to try and find one that would shock (and awe) everyone.
When the Princess finally emerged from his chambers every jaw in the room dropped. Heechul smirked, just the reaction he had been looking for.
“Heechul…” Eeteuk choked “What on earth are you wearing?”
What Heechul was wearing was a very short, very tight, pink denim skirt, knee high boots and a shirt which dipped indecently low, showing off his collar bone and hiding the lack of feminine curves. The ensemble beat the hell out of pink leg warmers any day of the week, in Heechul’s opinion. The clothes, coupled with the hair style (he had pulled it back into a loose pony tail), and the make-up (Hey it took talent to wear make-up that seemed natural), caused pandemonium.
“Umma! What happened to Heechul Hyung?” Wailed Henry.
“Hot damn! You have some nice legs!” Kangin quipped, earning a smack from Eeteuk. “What about my legs?! You said they were your favorite part of me!”
“I said I liked your feet, that’s different” Kangin replied wiping a bit of spittle from his lips. “And trust me; my favorite part of your body is slightly north of your legs…”
“VIRGIN EARS!!!!!” Henry cried, turning red and covering his ears. Ryewook looked on sympathetically.
“I thought you said you weren’t ever gonna wear a skirt outside of the bedroom” Hangeng remarked casually, wrapping his arms around Heechul from behind. “Not that I’m complaining. But concentrating on the Interview you’ve made us late for is going to be hard when you’re wearing that.” He placed an open mouth kiss to the side of Heechul’s neck.
“VIRGIN EYES!!!!!!!” This time Henry was joined by Ryewook, Kibum and Yesung in covering his eyes.
“I think….” Began Siwon cautiously. “That I have just developed a cross dressing kink”. Heechul pulled the younger man close. “Good. Now you and Hannie have something in common, besides the fact that you’re both fucking me” he said and kissed Siwon full on the lips.
“VIRGIN EYES AND EARS!” Practically every remaining member screamed.
Sungmin crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, fixing Heechul with a glare.
“Did you want something Minnie?” Heechul asked innocently.
“Oh nothing. You look really nice though”. Sungmin’s voice said, but his eyes said “Well played Hyung Well played” Point, set, and match to Heechul.
So, even though they were late, and even though he got a lecture about a million years long, Heechul was happy. Because the attention of the household, his lovers, and the country (at least the part that watched the interview) was back on Heechul, where it belonged.
The end!
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