She Paints Me Blue
So the last day or so I've had this lingering sadness that's really difficult to shake, which is annoying because I don't want to be all quiet and withdrawn so I'm doing everything I can possibly think of to shake it. I think it mainly boils down to that recently I've only just come to realise how my mum really is no longer around, which I honestly didn't really notice until recently when everything else started changing, like my dad got a new girlfriend and started changing everything he could about himself to please her and he bought a new car and started going to church and such. Which it's great that he's happy and all, I just hate the feeling that someone so important seems so easy to replace. At the same time I know he's just looking for companionship and never really wanted to replace her, but hey it's my mum, I'm allowed to be a little irrational. I kind of wish we could scatter the ashes, because that's what she wanted. Dad just has them in his room but she wanted to be scattered somewhere like day dream island or a similar place, which I'd really like because I feel like it'd be good to have somewhere to go every year to commemorate her. If anyway watches Chuck they celebrated their version of 'Mothers Day' but him and his sister doing something every year together on the day their mother left them.
In knee related news, I have something called ITB syndrome, which is also known as runners knee, which amuses me because after I had my knee surgery I had patella tendonitis which is also known as jumpers knee. I'm really just going for all the knee related ailments. But ITB syndrome is the swelling and tightening of the iliotibia band which stretches from the glutes to the lateral knee and when you bend your knee it extends over this bone nub, and in some people that really irritates it. So I now have this thing called a foam roller which I use every other day to lengthen and break the scar tissue off the band. It hurts like an absolute bitch to use, but I figure if it means I can keep playing the sport I love and running every day I'm more than happy do to it. It's weird like I could not have the problem at all if I just chose to not exercise, but I couldn't do that. I swear if I couldn't exercise I'd become deeply depressed. I think I have issues in that area, but I think you're allowed to if it's what you love to do.
In knee related news, I have something called ITB syndrome, which is also known as runners knee, which amuses me because after I had my knee surgery I had patella tendonitis which is also known as jumpers knee. I'm really just going for all the knee related ailments. But ITB syndrome is the swelling and tightening of the iliotibia band which stretches from the glutes to the lateral knee and when you bend your knee it extends over this bone nub, and in some people that really irritates it. So I now have this thing called a foam roller which I use every other day to lengthen and break the scar tissue off the band. It hurts like an absolute bitch to use, but I figure if it means I can keep playing the sport I love and running every day I'm more than happy do to it. It's weird like I could not have the problem at all if I just chose to not exercise, but I couldn't do that. I swear if I couldn't exercise I'd become deeply depressed. I think I have issues in that area, but I think you're allowed to if it's what you love to do.