You've given more than one gift in this fic since you shine the spotlight on a topic that was booby trapped from the beginning and was butchered after that. The result was ambiguous, frustrating and just hollow and disappointing, but you avoid all of those pitfalls here. You also give us something so rare- and much beloved, especially by me: Ryan/Kirsten interaction with actual connectivity that includes real involvement and engagement on Kirsten's part. That's what Ryan needs to know someone cares and is granting him permission to respond in kind. How I longed to see that sort of exchange and tentative bonding without so much stilted distance and discomfort from Kirsten. I never stopped hoping...
You've managed to capture and convey so many of the intangibles that Ben brought to Ryan that make him such a compelling and layered character. There's a real expressiveness in his movements, no matter how measured, and you've described his more reflective side so well. I've never thought of him as a brooder in the dark, wallowing, depressive sense, but rather as someone who had been left to his own devices and, without support, had been forced to develop his methods for assessing issues and problems. Since he has no one to turn to for guidance or advice or even as a sounding board, that necessitated a silent approach. That aspect of him is so evident here, with the way you have him first reacting in the airport- mind reeling and spinning at a fevered pitch as he attempts to maintain a calm facade. It's there with the introspection on the ride home, and especially with what I would consider to be his "thinking place" where he might feel most relaxed and safe. I'd like to think he had one- or something close to it, in Chino.
This calls for many facets of Ryan to be explored and displayed while he processes, revisits and tries to find a way to cope with potential outcomes, all with the underlying presence of key issues such as trust, honesty, and betrayal. That's a tall order, but one you fill quite effectively with all the subtle touches.
There's no way this can be neat with a simple resolution, but you stress the growth on Theresa's part, even if she didn't take the initiative to be truthful with Ryan, and the acceptance that balances the hurt Ryan feels. Nothing can ever be the same, but at least there are some answers and maybe a way to salvage a friendship. Ryan can't know what she would have done had Daniel been his child- and maybe she doesn't either, but he has to begin with acknowledging her intentions to correct the mistakes she recognized during that painful summer, even if he doesn't agree with or understand the methods.
Thanks for this- and for the spectrum of emotions you've incoporated so vividly. The pensive tone at the end works as a perfect anchor to Ryan's contemplative musings at the beginning. It's almost as if he's had a preview of two possible futures at once.
I'm so glad you liked this story - I always wanted more from Ryan and Kirsten's relationship than we got on the show (they were one of my favorite combos - must be the mother in me - Ryan needed lots of mothering). And though I never liked Theresa (or her manipulation of Ryan's feelings), I did appreciate her letting Ryan go.
I was desperate for more Ryan/Kirsten interaction and connectivity. Watching them circle one another was so frustrating. They had the largest gap to close with her as the linchpin upon whom his stay was contingent from the beginning. Sadly, we were shown so little progress. I really felt that she erected barriers based on her guilt for judging and rejecting him and then her doubts in terms of letting him get too close, not knowing what role to take and just being intimidated. She let the guardian responsibilities fall in Sandy's lap and kept her distance- which meant Ryan had to respect her parameters and comply. He certainly had to be terrified when he blatantly overstepped and spoke to her at the intervention, and God only knows how long he walked on eggshells afterwards. She seemed to undo any real gains in that one sentence.
What's so unfortunate is that it was clear that Ryan was in awe of Kirsten and took any crumbs of attetnion or affection as treasures. It was as if he could never believe she actually would acknowledge him or spare him a thought or time, so it was all precious. He certainly needed a mother, although the Kirsten we saw seemed to think that wasn't her place. It would have been amazing to watch them bridge the gap. At times, I thought it was painful how longingly Ryan would look at times, even when he would risk initiating a hug and she seemed so rehearsed and stilted just talking to him. Yeah, time to stop. I just kept hoping, figuring surely the writers were aware.
Theresa is certainly not one of my favorites: that would be a gross understatement. I think you know that I view her as someone who manipulated him from the start and did it masterfully, without bothering to consider just why he was so vulnerable. Instead of helping him when he confessed how hurt he was after the Oliver Twisted incident, she saw her opening all the more and took advantage when he was so alienated. I've got no sympathy for her, and didn't from when we first met her and she wasn't angry/hurt/concerned, but more upset that she'd been "stood up." She didn't sound like his oldest friend who knew some of his history and had been searching for him, but a jilted girlfriend- who had her own boyfriend. Riiiiiiiiiiight. Good riddance. I do like that she let Ryan go, but I wish she had done so far sooner. I keep wondering if it was her, or if it was her mother. It's hard to tell if her mother is reassuring her in "The Distance," or if she had directed her daughter to act and was then offering some firm comfort.
You've managed to capture and convey so many of the intangibles that Ben brought to Ryan that make him such a compelling and layered character. There's a real expressiveness in his movements, no matter how measured, and you've described his more reflective side so well. I've never thought of him as a brooder in the dark, wallowing, depressive sense, but rather as someone who had been left to his own devices and, without support, had been forced to develop his methods for assessing issues and problems. Since he has no one to turn to for guidance or advice or even as a sounding board, that necessitated a silent approach. That aspect of him is so evident here, with the way you have him first reacting in the airport- mind reeling and spinning at a fevered pitch as he attempts to maintain a calm facade. It's there with the introspection on the ride home, and especially with what I would consider to be his "thinking place" where he might feel most relaxed and safe. I'd like to think he had one- or something close to it, in Chino.
This calls for many facets of Ryan to be explored and displayed while he processes, revisits and tries to find a way to cope with potential outcomes, all with the underlying presence of key issues such as trust, honesty, and betrayal. That's a tall order, but one you fill quite effectively with all the subtle touches.
There's no way this can be neat with a simple resolution, but you stress the growth on Theresa's part, even if she didn't take the initiative to be truthful with Ryan, and the acceptance that balances the hurt Ryan feels. Nothing can ever be the same, but at least there are some answers and maybe a way to salvage a friendship. Ryan can't know what she would have done had Daniel been his child- and maybe she doesn't either, but he has to begin with acknowledging her intentions to correct the mistakes she recognized during that painful summer, even if he doesn't agree with or understand the methods.
Thanks for this- and for the spectrum of emotions you've incoporated so vividly. The pensive tone at the end works as a perfect anchor to Ryan's contemplative musings at the beginning. It's almost as if he's had a preview of two possible futures at once.
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What's so unfortunate is that it was clear that Ryan was in awe of Kirsten and took any crumbs of attetnion or affection as treasures. It was as if he could never believe she actually would acknowledge him or spare him a thought or time, so it was all precious. He certainly needed a mother, although the Kirsten we saw seemed to think that wasn't her place. It would have been amazing to watch them bridge the gap. At times, I thought it was painful how longingly Ryan would look at times, even when he would risk initiating a hug and she seemed so rehearsed and stilted just talking to him. Yeah, time to stop. I just kept hoping, figuring surely the writers were aware.
Theresa is certainly not one of my favorites: that would be a gross understatement. I think you know that I view her as someone who manipulated him from the start and did it masterfully, without bothering to consider just why he was so vulnerable. Instead of helping him when he confessed how hurt he was after the Oliver Twisted incident, she saw her opening all the more and took advantage when he was so alienated. I've got no sympathy for her, and didn't from when we first met her and she wasn't angry/hurt/concerned, but more upset that she'd been "stood up." She didn't sound like his oldest friend who knew some of his history and had been searching for him, but a jilted girlfriend- who had her own boyfriend. Riiiiiiiiiiight. Good riddance. I do like that she let Ryan go, but I wish she had done so far sooner. I keep wondering if it was her, or if it was her mother. It's hard to tell if her mother is reassuring her in "The Distance," or if she had directed her daughter to act and was then offering some firm comfort.
Thanks again!
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