Hm...
Sigh... Still no yahoo account. I've pretty much given up at this point, even though it was really fucking hard and moved onto a different account.
Anyways, in other news, I had this party last weekend. Totally not what I expected. I didn't even drink all that much, I had like 3 screwdrivers and 2 rum and cokes. Well there might of been more rum and cokes but that is all I remember. Anyways, I've dranken way more then that and not been all that fucked up. Some people said that it could of been something to do with the altitude here, but it could also have to do with that all I ate all day was a steak and a frozen burrito. Anyways, so the last thing I remember is going into the kitchen for more rum and coke, and seeing Jerry and Chris fucking around with matches. And the next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, in a puddle of my vomit. Mostly that burrito I ate. I kinda wake up and scoot out of the mess, but I was so tired and confused that I just passed out again. I'm still trying to peice together what happened that night. Supposedly I went out to the futon and sat down and Chris sat down on my lap. Which seems unlikely since he never shows any sort of affection unless we're fucking or something. He doesn't remember either cause the same thing happened to him. And then I guess I went to my room, and Chris stayed out there, like twitching on the floor and I guess he knocked over some vodka. And then he came in here, which is when I moved. And then supposedly I kept going into the bathroom all night throwing up, but I don't remember that either. When I woke up the next morning I was sooo fucking sick, and I had these like chuncks of vomit in my hair. I was so sick that I couldn't even manage a shower. So I went out to the futon and layed down most of the morning until I got up the strength to go make some soup and stuff. Then as I'm eating my soup, and chris is like half laying on the floor, the cable guy comes over. I don't know if it smelled like alcohol or vomit, but he immediatly laughed about us parting. I guess I still had chunky hair. Anyways eventually I go into the bathroom and I'm like undressing for my shower. And I take off my shirt, and there is vomit on my bra, like lots of it. Which I found strange at the time, because I also realized that my shirt was clean. So after the shower I go out and ask my roommates if I had my shirt on that night. They conveniantly left out that I was walking around in my bra all night. It's funny that I didn't even notice that I woke up with a different shirt on. But yeah, that was my weekend, I keep finding bits of vomit in weird places. Like the back of my planner. When I'm really bored at work I like to pick it off. Heh, and now I want to have another party in a few weeks. Sigh, will I ever learn.
Besides that everything kinda sucks. My roommates can't stand me, and I've pretty much given up on trying. I hate this not having any friends thing. And Chris has gotten all weird. I think he's pushing me away. Well, no, I know he is. Sigh, it kinda hurts too. Pain has become all too familiar latly...
And ween, if you read this, alcohol is bad, it makes you all fucked up and makes you forget stuff. It makes you wake up your children in the middle of the night just to tell them that you love them, with tears on your face, and lies in your eyes. And it kills people, which we both know all too well. I just don't want you to forget. In all honesty I'm really freaked out that this happened this weekend, what if I wasn't lieing on my side when I passed out and I was lieing on my back and I threw up, I'm not entirly certain that I would be ok. No one here would of noticed. I've never blacked out before and I've never gotten so drunk that I've thrown up. I'm deffinatly not going to be getting that drunk ever again. And really at the moment I can't even look or smell alcohol without it making me feel sick (which made work tonight a pain in the ass). I just don't want you to get any ideas. I really wish that you wouldn't be as into drugs as you are, but I've never exactly set a great example. And seeing as how both your parents and your older sister were at one point junkies, I just really hope that you don't get into that. Sigh, I don't know what else to say. But I don't want to edit out my life to you, and tell you that I'm sober and dealing with mom just fine, or any of that other crap I feed the rest of the family. I better go, this has become way too long as it is. I luff you...
Jes
Anyways, in other news, I had this party last weekend. Totally not what I expected. I didn't even drink all that much, I had like 3 screwdrivers and 2 rum and cokes. Well there might of been more rum and cokes but that is all I remember. Anyways, I've dranken way more then that and not been all that fucked up. Some people said that it could of been something to do with the altitude here, but it could also have to do with that all I ate all day was a steak and a frozen burrito. Anyways, so the last thing I remember is going into the kitchen for more rum and coke, and seeing Jerry and Chris fucking around with matches. And the next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed, in a puddle of my vomit. Mostly that burrito I ate. I kinda wake up and scoot out of the mess, but I was so tired and confused that I just passed out again. I'm still trying to peice together what happened that night. Supposedly I went out to the futon and sat down and Chris sat down on my lap. Which seems unlikely since he never shows any sort of affection unless we're fucking or something. He doesn't remember either cause the same thing happened to him. And then I guess I went to my room, and Chris stayed out there, like twitching on the floor and I guess he knocked over some vodka. And then he came in here, which is when I moved. And then supposedly I kept going into the bathroom all night throwing up, but I don't remember that either. When I woke up the next morning I was sooo fucking sick, and I had these like chuncks of vomit in my hair. I was so sick that I couldn't even manage a shower. So I went out to the futon and layed down most of the morning until I got up the strength to go make some soup and stuff. Then as I'm eating my soup, and chris is like half laying on the floor, the cable guy comes over. I don't know if it smelled like alcohol or vomit, but he immediatly laughed about us parting. I guess I still had chunky hair. Anyways eventually I go into the bathroom and I'm like undressing for my shower. And I take off my shirt, and there is vomit on my bra, like lots of it. Which I found strange at the time, because I also realized that my shirt was clean. So after the shower I go out and ask my roommates if I had my shirt on that night. They conveniantly left out that I was walking around in my bra all night. It's funny that I didn't even notice that I woke up with a different shirt on. But yeah, that was my weekend, I keep finding bits of vomit in weird places. Like the back of my planner. When I'm really bored at work I like to pick it off. Heh, and now I want to have another party in a few weeks. Sigh, will I ever learn.
Besides that everything kinda sucks. My roommates can't stand me, and I've pretty much given up on trying. I hate this not having any friends thing. And Chris has gotten all weird. I think he's pushing me away. Well, no, I know he is. Sigh, it kinda hurts too. Pain has become all too familiar latly...
And ween, if you read this, alcohol is bad, it makes you all fucked up and makes you forget stuff. It makes you wake up your children in the middle of the night just to tell them that you love them, with tears on your face, and lies in your eyes. And it kills people, which we both know all too well. I just don't want you to forget. In all honesty I'm really freaked out that this happened this weekend, what if I wasn't lieing on my side when I passed out and I was lieing on my back and I threw up, I'm not entirly certain that I would be ok. No one here would of noticed. I've never blacked out before and I've never gotten so drunk that I've thrown up. I'm deffinatly not going to be getting that drunk ever again. And really at the moment I can't even look or smell alcohol without it making me feel sick (which made work tonight a pain in the ass). I just don't want you to get any ideas. I really wish that you wouldn't be as into drugs as you are, but I've never exactly set a great example. And seeing as how both your parents and your older sister were at one point junkies, I just really hope that you don't get into that. Sigh, I don't know what else to say. But I don't want to edit out my life to you, and tell you that I'm sober and dealing with mom just fine, or any of that other crap I feed the rest of the family. I better go, this has become way too long as it is. I luff you...
Jes