(no subject)
i have had a revelation..i think.
so jess and i have been broken up for a little over 2 months now..but in those 2 months i have hated her for everything she is. sounds terrible i know, but if you have ever had your heart broken by you're love, then you know how i feel.
but saturday, and this may be from a mix of alcohol, but i felt a wave of sadness wash over me. i had forgiven her for everything i held against her. all the drug crap, the lies, and the betrayal. and i started to remember the little things that i do now miss. the way she held me, the way she smelled...all those little comforting things. it is sort of a shock however. i still cannot forgive craig and i have long forgiven trey, only because there was no hope for him lol. but i have finally come at peace with jess. i really dont care what she does or who she's with. every emotion of letting go has gone. it makes me sad to admit that, but i'm happy i can admit that with full confidence. granted, i still worry about her..but she does have a place in my heart. so yay..one burden to lift off these old, weighed down shoulders.
jon got a new puppy! she is sooooooooo cuuuuute! she's a mix between a pomeranian? and pitbull. ARU? you might say, but she is a lot cuter than i thought she would be. she is built like a pitbull but is smaller and has the little curly tail. we named her Cloe. AH! so cute. we took her to Petco yesterday and got her all her stuff and i bought her a little spiked collar. proof of a badass is a spiked collar lol. jon acts like such a daddy, its amazing lol. just goes to show you what a little puppy can do to a man hehe.
anyways, my brother has hockey finals tonight so imma go watch. YAY #36! w00t.
miss you all<3
so jess and i have been broken up for a little over 2 months now..but in those 2 months i have hated her for everything she is. sounds terrible i know, but if you have ever had your heart broken by you're love, then you know how i feel.
but saturday, and this may be from a mix of alcohol, but i felt a wave of sadness wash over me. i had forgiven her for everything i held against her. all the drug crap, the lies, and the betrayal. and i started to remember the little things that i do now miss. the way she held me, the way she smelled...all those little comforting things. it is sort of a shock however. i still cannot forgive craig and i have long forgiven trey, only because there was no hope for him lol. but i have finally come at peace with jess. i really dont care what she does or who she's with. every emotion of letting go has gone. it makes me sad to admit that, but i'm happy i can admit that with full confidence. granted, i still worry about her..but she does have a place in my heart. so yay..one burden to lift off these old, weighed down shoulders.
jon got a new puppy! she is sooooooooo cuuuuute! she's a mix between a pomeranian? and pitbull. ARU? you might say, but she is a lot cuter than i thought she would be. she is built like a pitbull but is smaller and has the little curly tail. we named her Cloe. AH! so cute. we took her to Petco yesterday and got her all her stuff and i bought her a little spiked collar. proof of a badass is a spiked collar lol. jon acts like such a daddy, its amazing lol. just goes to show you what a little puppy can do to a man hehe.
anyways, my brother has hockey finals tonight so imma go watch. YAY #36! w00t.
miss you all<3