Dec 15, 2006 17:26
I haven't forgotten you at all.
In fact, I think about you ever day.
I haven't been going around saying "today's the day" to my friends, simply because I don't want to depress them, and I don't want their pity---that's not what I'm asking for.
I hope that you are proud of me, and I hope that my decisions can make you rest easier. I don't know if you even know of me now, but I remember you every day.
I hope I am making you proud here at Stetson. I just had a big opera, and it was great. The only thing that could have made it better was to have you there. But I believe you had the best seat in the house.
I'm thinking of a lot of things now. I'm in love, isn't that great? I'm in love, and I need to start thinking about who I want to give me away. I want someone who would honor you, and I am so sad that it can't be you. I would have loved it, and Margaret would have, too. I hope that Tina and Tanya (Carl included) realize how much a gift it was for you to be and their weddings, and to give your little girls away. When that day comes for me, if you are indeed there in spirit, know that I would love no other man in my life to walk me down the aisle than for it to be my daddy.
I think I'm becoming a better daughter every day. I'm sad and disheartened that you only got to see the ugly side of me. I was young, and I was learning so much about life. How beautiful it is, and how much we can hate it sometimes. I am still young, and I am still learning, but I believe that I am a much better person at 20 than I was from 17 and before. I was bitter, but I'm not anymore. I just wish you could see me today, and see how many friends I have, to see my lover, to see how much stronger I am and how I love everyone so passionately.
I love you. I miss you. 3 years is such a long time, but it really is only just a moment.
Love,
Hillary