(no subject)
“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight, Shane.”
“The decision was rather taken out of my hands, as it were,” Shane replies quietly, keeping his eyes on the drink in his hand.
Harry had told him the night previous, in no uncertain terms that he was to go with him and Draco to Arthur Weasley’s birthday dinner so that he could see Charlie and set things right. His decision to put things on hold where their developing relationship was concerned had been, at the time, well thought out and perfectly rational.
Now, however, he can’t think of one good reason why he doesn’t deserve someone like Charlie - both for himself and for Amelia. When Charlie finally approaches him, as he stands quietly in the corner observing the Potters and Weasleys coo over the newest addition to the family, he feels not a small amount of embarrassment.
“I’m glad that you did come, regardless of who made the decision for you,” Charlie answers, leaning in closer and brushing him slightly with his shoulder.
Shane swallows thickly, looking up at Charlie for the first time that evening and seeing apprehension in those beautiful brown eyes; the eyes that he had grown to adore for all their honesty and openness and gentle gazes.
“Could we talk? Somewhere private?” Shane finds himself asking, somewhat surprised by his own resolve.
When Charlie doesn’t answer right away, frissons of fear begin to crawl their way down his spine. It’s too late, I’ve lost my chance already, he thinks. He looks down at his half-empty glass again, determined not to let his disappointment show.
“Sure,” Charlie says quietly, leaning in close.
Shane can feel Charlie’s breath on his neck and fights to keep from sighing.
“Let’s go upstairs. I’m pretty sure mum hasn’t completely filled my old room with junk just yet. There should still be room to stand,” Charlie jokes, his soft laugh making Shane’s cheeks flush.
He follows Charlie to the other side of the room where the staircase begins, pausing for a moment to glance over at the sofa where Harry and everyone except for Draco and Emma have gathered.
Harry winks, smirking slightly, and turns his attention back to little James. Shane can’t help but grin, and takes a moment to blow his daughter a kiss as she bounces on Hermione’s knee.
I hope that I’m doing the right thing for you, precious, he thinks soberly.
He continues up the stairs, not ashamed to enjoy the view on his way up as he follows Charlie. They make it to the fifth landing, finally, and Charlie opens a door to a room that, sure enough, is stuffed full with everything from discarded and broken furniture to what looks like several sets of old Hogwarts robes with the house crests removed.
“It’s a bit dusty, but it’ll give us the most privacy,” he says to Shane, his hand on the small of his back as he leads him inside.
Now that they’re truly alone, nervousness overcomes Shane again as he struggles with exactly how to begin.
How did I muck this up so badly? he wonders, avoiding Charlie’s eyes once more.
“Is everything all right, Shane?”
He looks up at Charlie now - sees him leaning on an old bureau on the other side of the room and can’t help but let his eyes travel up and down the other man’s body.
I want this. I can have it. He isn’t like Darren, he says to himself, solidifying the decision he’s already made.
“No it isn’t, Charlie,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting.
"You don't look as though you've been sleeping well. Is Amelia feeling okay? She hasn't been keeping you up, has she? I thought she had gotten over her cold a couple of weeks ago."
And this, thinks Shane, is just one more way in which Charlie has proven himself to be the exactly what he needs.
What his daughter needs.
“Amelia’s fine. It's nothing to do with her, actually,” Shane begins, taking a few steps forward to bridge the gap between them. “Well, that's not entirely true. It's everything to do with her. Everything that I do is about her and for her and because of her."
Charlie looks down at the floor, his shoulders slumping slightly in what Shane can only define as defeat; instantly Shane knows that he’s said the wrong thing.
“And there's no room for me in your lives right now. It's okay, Shane. I understand that, really I do,” Charlie says, voice barely above a whisper.
Shane takes another step forward, determined to correct Charlie’s assumption but finds the words stuck in his throat, unsure of what to say.
“I can’t imagine the position that you must be in,” Charlie starts again, looking into Shane’s eyes. “Being on your own after what that arsehole did to you, leaving you to fend for yourself with a child,” he continues, running his hands through his hair. “I’d string him up by his pathetic little balls if I had the chance. It’s no wonder you’re scared to get involved again. I get that.”
Shane’s mouth hangs open at this, wishing more than ever that he had Draco’s way with words.
Charlie moves forward, clearly intent on leaving the room. Shane grabs his wrist, determined to make him understand how wrong he is.
“That’s not what I’m saying, Charlie! You’ve misunderstood. Not that I’ve given you much reason to understand anything from me of late, and I’m sorry for that,” he begins to ramble, tightening his grip on Charlie’s wrist.
“Then what are you saying, Shane?” Charlie interrupts, “because I’ll do whatever it is that you need me to do to make this easier on you,” he says, turning to face Shane and encouraging him to meet his gaze.
“I want you to-“ Shane starts, his heart suddenly racing with the hope that Charlie had just given him. “I want you. I just want you.”
“You’ve already got me,” Charlie replies, his voice low as he moves even closer, “in case that escaped your notice.”
“I know, Charlie. I know,” Shane whispers, allowing his eyes to flutter closed as he reaches up to trace that strong jaw, and pulls him into a kiss.
Charlie responds immediately, gripping Shane’s hips and pushing him back against the dusty, wooden door. The kiss is unlike any others they’ve shared, both fighting for dominance; both wanting to reassure the other, to say This isn’t over, this is only the beginning, if you’ll just let me in.
Shane pushes against Charlie’s chest, loving the way the strong muscles move beneath his palms and silently thanking Harry for giving him the courage to come here tonight, bringing him back to this man. Charlie follows his lead, walking backwards and toward the long-outgrown bed that sits in the corner of the room, letting himself fall onto the mattress and tugging Shane along.
They both can’t help but chuckle at the cloud of dust that envelops them, their lips never parting through their smiles. Shane wants control, and Charlie lets him have it as two hands trail down the hard planes of his stomach to the buckle of his leather belt.
This is what I want. This is who I want. He needs to be mine, Shane thinks as he looks into Charlie’s eyes, moving slowly down his body to show him exactly how much he wants it all.
~*~
“I’m pretty sure that I can handle that, thanks,” Charlie laughs, Shane’s fingers at his waist and tickling slightly as he fastens the button.
“Oh, I think that I know just how well you can handle things, Mr Weasley,” he smirks in reply as Charlie smoothes out his shirt across his shoulders.
He looks up for just a moment and catches the suddenly serious expression on Charlie’s face.
“I really hope that you know how much I care about you and Amelia, and that you can trust me,” Charlie says earnestly, his fingers brushing back the fringe from Shane’s face. “I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to, and I really hope that you’re not going to want that for a very, very long time.”
Shane finds himself without words again, and so he tells Charlie with a soft, gentle kiss that he’s exactly where he wants to be.