VM fic: Home Is Where the Heart Is (mini!Lilly [Duncan's daughter]) PG-13
Title: Home Is Where the Heart Is
Author: Shealynn88
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~10000 words
Spoilers: up to Donut Run
Characters: mini!Lilly and the Mannings, other peripheral characters
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I'm just playing.
Summary: (future!fic) After five years the law catches up with Duncan, and little Lilly Kane finds herself with a new family to adjust to.
Author's Note: written for the Twisted Tales challenge. The fairy tale it's based on and the 'twist' are both listed at the end of the fic.
Thanks to laiquendai, caalan, taken_with_you and snoopypez for their help with 5-year-old characterization (I took a few liberties) and encouragement, and to mandilyn for Spanish assistance and general hand-holding.
"Tell me about Mama, again," Lilly begged, settling back against her pillow for the night.
Her papa just smiled. "All right. But then you have to promise to go to sleep."
She nodded hastily and her papa lay down next to her, combing her hair with his fingers as he told her the story again: how her mama had been brave and had loved her and wanted her to be safe with Papa…how there had been an accident, and Mama had gone to heaven. How Mama couldn't sit with Lilly and tell her bedtime stories, but she loved her just the same, and watched over her, even if Lilly couldn't see.
It made her a little sad, sometimes, that she'd never be able to see her mama, but Papa said that Mama could still hear her, and that made it better.
The story ended the same way it always did. "So, Mama watches over you every day and every night, making sure that you're happy and safe." Papa kissed her on the forehead and she giggled.
"Now," he said with mock-sternness, grabbing the ever-present photo from her bedside table. "Say goodnight."
The photo was worn and a little faded in its frame, but Lilly loved it. Her mama looked like an angel, with her hair shining in the sun like a halo.
"Goodnight, Mama," Lilly said softly, kissing the smudged glass.
"Say Buenos noches to Señor Gato."
"Buenos noches, Señor Gato," she said to the huge grey cat at the foot of her bed. He stretched and winked at her in response.
"Say Buenos noches to Mantequillo."
"Buenos noches, Mantequillo," she whispered to the dog stretched out in her doorway. He thumped his tail and smiled at her.
"Now get some sleep, chiquita. Nana is going to take you to the beach tomorrow."
"Oh, Papa! Will there will be shells?"
He chucked her under the chin and she giggled. "I'll bet there will."
She yawned suddenly. "Why does Nana have to go away at night? I wish she could stay here forever and ever."
"She has to take care of her own family, chiquita. She'll be here tomorrow in time to make you breakfast."
"Okay," Lilly agreed sleepily.
"Buenos noches, Lillita," he whispered, kissing her forehead again. "Dulces sueños."
"Y tú, Papa," she murmured, her eyelids fluttering closed.
***
Lilly woke in the middle of the night to Mantequillo's furious barking. Bright red and blue lights flashed through her window and she slipped out of bed fearfully. She had to find her papa-he would know how to make the lights go away.
Her papa was arguing with policemen on the front lawn, and she screamed when one of them grabbed him and pushed him to the ground. "Lilly!" he yelled, fighting to get away from them.
"Papa!" she cried, running to him. The men moved away a little and he sat up, but when she threw her arms around his neck he didn't hug her back and she was desperately afraid.
"Papa, what's happening?" she asked, trying not to cry.
He curled his chin over her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, sweetie. Let me talk to the policemen, okay?"
She nodded slowly and let him go. When he stood, she saw metal glinting around his wrists, and she sobbed. She wanted to be brave, but she couldn't help it. The policemen were arguing and looking at her strangely, and they wouldn't let her papa hug her… She clung to his leg as tears ran down her cheeks.
"Please," her papa said softly to the men. "I'll come with you. Just, take these off. She's scared enough already."
A pale policeman stepped forward. "Take them off. We don't need her crying all the way to Neptune." Lilly glared at him, but he didn't even notice. He turned to her papa. "She's tiny, Duncan. This is Faith?"
"Her name is Lilly," her papa said, sounding angry as one of the other policemen freed his hands.
Lilly's tears slowed when he swept her up into his arms.
"Ready?" the pale policeman asked.
Lilly felt him nod against her and he carried her to one of the cars, murmuring softly. "Hush, sweetie, we'll figure this out."
***
Her papa held her tightly as the car bounced over the dirt roads. His voice sounded funny when he finally spoke. "When we get where we're going, I'm gonna have to leave you for a little while, okay? But I don't want you to worry."
Her lips puckered in confusion. "You'll be gone?" she asked softly, locking her fingers possessively behind his neck.
He nodded slowly. "For a while," he said softly.
"Like Mama?" she whispered.
He squeezed her tight and she wormed up under his chin. "No, sweetie. Not like Mama. I'll come back for you as soon as I can." He made a funny gulpy noise in his throat and she looked up at him.
"Papa?"
"It's all right, sweetie."
It didn't seem alright, but she trusted him.
Lilly was just starting to relax when she thought of her friends at home. "Papa! If we're going away for a while, who's going to take care of Mantequillo and Señor Gato?"
He laughed a little and held her tighter. "I'm sure Nana will take care of them for us. Don't worry, Lillita."
She nodded slowly and let her head fall onto his shoulder. Finally, the motion of the car soothed her into sleep.
***
Her papa kissed her goodbye and said he'd see her again, but she was still scared when the policeman took her out of the car and held her shoulder while it drove away with her papa still inside.
When they couldn't see the car anymore the policeman pulled her away gently, leading her up a walkway to a big house. Lilly kept looking over her shoulder, hoping to see the car pull up again, but it never did.
"Papa," she whispered as she stumbled up the steps to the front door.
When the policeman knocked, an older woman answered the door. Her face twisted up for a second before she raised her hands to cover her mouth. "This is her? This is Faith?"
Lilly looked up to see the policeman nod.
"She's so small," the woman said sadly, and Lilly hunched closer to the policeman as the woman stared at her. Suddenly, the woman bent and pulled Lilly against her. "Faith! My God, what has he done to you?" the woman exclaimed, grabbing hold of her shoulders and holding her at arm's length to look her up and down.
Lilly looked up at the policeman. "He took my papa away," she said softly.
The woman pulled her close again and Lilly tried to wriggle away, but the woman only held her tighter.
"Oh, honey, we're going to take great care of you. You're going to love it here, I promise." She released Lilly and stood to shake the policeman’s hand and thank him. Lilly watched in confusion. The policeman had taken her away from her papa. Why was the woman thanking him?
The policeman turned to leave and the woman led Lilly inside, shutting the door loudly and making Lilly jump.
The woman bent down again to talk to her. "Faith, I'm your grandmother, Rose. Your grandfather and I have always wanted to take care of you, honey. It's like a dream come true to have you home with us."
Lilly looked around her, confused. She had been home, and then the policemen had taken her away, and these people kept calling her the wrong name.
"I don't think I'm supposed to be here," she said. She wanted to tell the woman about her home and tell her that Papa would be back for her any minute now, but then a stern man stepped into the room and she was quiet.
"This is her?" he asked the woman. Rose. He shook his head, looking angry, and Lilly edged backward. "This can't be her! They must have made a mistake."
"Stewart,” Rose chided. “This is her. This is Faith."
He shook his head again and crouched down in front of Lilly. "How old are you, honey?" he asked in a gravely voice.
Lilly shivered and held up her hand, spreading her fingers to show them all.
"Five?" he asked.
She nodded.
He stood up and turned back to the woman. "This can't be right. She looks like she's three."
Lilly held her hand up, trying to spread her fingers wider. She wasn't three!
"It's her, Stewart. It's really her."
The two of them hugged for a moment and Lilly missed her papa. She just wanted him to pick her up and hold her and tell her again that everything would be okay, because it didn't feel okay. It felt strange and the house was too big and the woman kept crying…
"Oh, honey, you must be so tired," Rose finally said. "Why don't you come upstairs and I'll show you your room?"
She led Lilly up the stairs slowly and stopped at the first door. "This is the bathroom if you need it. You can just call us if you need help."
She moved to the next room and tapped on the door. "This is our room. Your grandfather and me. You can come in any time, okay, if you're scared or worried or if you need something…?"
She waited expectantly and Lilly finally nodded, not knowing what else to do. The woman nodded back, looking satisfied.
Finally, they walked to a room near the back of the house. When Rose opened the door to one of the rooms there, Lilly shrunk back in confusion.
Pictures of her mama hung on the walls. She'd only ever seen the one papa had her kiss every night, and this was suddenly too much. She was crying again, heavy sobs that scared and embarrassed her.
"Oh, honey, shhh…" The woman picked her up and cradled her against her shoulder. "It's okay, it's all right. This was your mother's room, sweetheart. We saved it for you. She would have wanted you to have it. She wanted you to stay with us, honey, she wanted us to be your family."
"But, my papa…"
"Your daddy's sick, sweetie. He needs to get better before he can see you again. That's why your mommy wanted us to take care of you-he should never have taken you away, but it's all better now. You're safe here, okay?"
Lilly took a shuddering breath. She'd been safe before, at home with her papa. Now he was sick and she couldn't see him and she was scared. "What's wrong with him? Will they give him med’cine? When I'm sick, Papa puts a cold cloth on my forehead and rubs my belly."
"Oh, it's not that kind of sick, honey. He just…needs some time."
"I want to go home," Lilly whispered. She missed Papa, and Nana, and her house, and the beach, and Mantequillo and Señor Gato.
The woman tucked her into bed carefully and kissed her on the forehead. "It's going to take some time to get used to things here. But this is your home, honey. Your real home. Get a good night's sleep, Faith. Tomorrow we'll go shopping and get you whatever you need, okay?"
Lilly tried not to be scared. After all, the pictures on the wall were familiar; it must be okay if her mama had lived here.
Lilly pretended the woman's hand was her papa's as it smoothed her hair back from her forehead. "Goodnight, Mama," she murmured to the pictures on the wall. Finally, she fell asleep.
***
Lilly woke with bright light in her eyes, coming through the big windows of the room. When she looked up, she saw a figure in the doorway with shining blonde hair and a wide smile.
"Mama?" she whispered, sitting up.
"Hi, there," the woman said as she walked into the room. "I'm your aunt Grace. It's Lilly, right?"
Lilly nodded, looking around at the pictures on the wall. Pictures of her mama. They looked a lot like the lady who was sitting at the bottom of the bed. "Aunt Grace?" she repeated hesitantly.
"That's me." The lady smiled again, and Lilly smiled back. She'd never had an aunt before. All the kids she knew at home had big families-sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles. It was sort of exciting to have an aunt of her very own, even though she missed her papa awfully.
"So," Aunt Grace continued, "I guess my mom's taking you shopping today, huh? You like to shop?"
Lilly thought about the market at home, with all the people talking and laughing, and the smells, and the strays at the edge of the crowd waiting for scraps.
She nodded shyly.
Her aunt leaned forward. "You should have a great time, then. Pick the good stuff! Mom will spare no expense." Lilly didn't quite understand, but she smiled when her aunt winked at her.
Grace stood up. "Well, I've got to get to school," she said. "I'll see you later."
Lilly just nodded shyly, picking at her covers.
Grace walked to the door and then turned back, and her voice was very quiet. "I know this must be strange for you, but it'll get better."
Lilly nodded as her aunt disappeared from the doorway, and then she slipped out of bed and pulled her long pajama shirt straight. Finally, she walked slowly down the long staircase, looking at the careful arrangement of books and little figurines around the house. It was different from home, where everything was soft and the tables and the chairs were worn and comfortable. Everything here was so pretty and shiny and untouchable.
"Faith!" The woman, Rose, called from nearby.
Lilly turned. "My name is Lilly," she said softly.
The woman took her hand, leading her into a brightly lit kitchen. "No, honey, it's not," she said gently. "Your name is Faith. It's what we named you before-before."
The man with the gray hair was sitting at the table, and he looked up over a newspaper at Lilly. "Morning," he said.
She lifted one hand in a shy wave. "But I've always been Lilly," she said to her grandmother.
The man set his paper down. "Your name is not Lilly," he said gruffly. "That is completely inappropriate! He should never have named you after that-"
Lilly shrunk back against her grandmother, who interrupted the man sharply. "Stewart!"
He looked down sternly at Lilly. "Your name is Faith."
She wanted to protest, but she was too scared. She felt the tears build in her eyes, and tried not to let them fall.
Her grandmother scooped her up. "Here's what we're going to do. We'll get you some breakfast, and find some old clothes of Grace's, and then we'll go out and get you clothes and games and whatever else you want. Okay?"
Lilly sniffed and nodded. "Okay."
"Good!" Her grandmother smiled warmly, and some of the fear went away.
***
Lilly had never seen a mall before. It was huge, bright and full of people, all going too fast and shouting a little too loud. Lilly clung to her grandmother's hand, afraid she'd get lost if she let go even for a second.
When they got to one of the smaller shops her grandmother made her let go, and followed her as she tried to find some clothes like the soft pants and shirts she had at home.
When she finally found what she wanted, she held it up.
"Oh, honey, you don't want that! Let's get you something nice, okay? Something you can wear to school or church."
"But, I like these," Lilly said.
"Faith," her grandmother said, pulling the clothes away. "We have a lot of old clothes that you can play in. Let's get some nice dresses for you."
"My name isn't Faith," Lilly said.
Her grandmother's lips thinned in annoyance. "We've talked about this. Faith is the name on your birth certificate. It is your name. Believe me, Lilly is not a good name for you to have in this town."
Lilly clenched her little fists, getting angry. "My papa says I'm Lilly! I don't wanna be anyone else!"
Her grandmother tugged her arm, hard. "Don't you raise your voice, young lady! We will discuss this later!" She pulled Lilly away from the stack of pants toward the dresses, and Lilly stumbled along after her, a little stunned and hurt.
***
Her grandmother had bought her an ice cream cone on the way home, and Lilly ate it in silence. She was wearing one of the new dresses, and the seams rubbed uncomfortably on her shoulders. She'd wanted to wear the comfy clothes her grandmother had finally bought her, but her grandmother had insisted that she dress up. Lilly shifted in the seat, and the ice cream dripped on her new dress.
"Oh, do be careful," her grandmother said, looking over. "Make sure you wipe that up."
Lilly dabbed at it with the fistful of napkins she had in her hand.
"Here we are, honey. We're home," her grandmother said as they rode over a big bump and the car stopped. Lilly pulled herself up to the window excitedly, and was disappointed to see the house she'd stayed in last night.
When her grandmother lifted her out of her seat, Lilly followed her quietly to the house.
"Do you want to play in the yard for a bit, honey? There's a swing in the back that Gracie used to play on."
Lilly smiled and nodded. She'd always found things to do outside at home. She would throw a stick for Mantequillo, or go exploring with Señor Gato while Nana trailed behind and cautioned her in Spanish. Sometimes, Papa would take her out and they'd take long walks on the beach.
"When will Papa be better?" she asked.
Her grandmother turned and knelt in front of her. "It's going to be a long time, honey. You have to be patient. Why don't you play? Here, I'll show you."
Lilly's grandmother walked her to the back of the house and opened a big door with pretty glass in it. "I need you to stay inside the fence, okay? I'll be watching you from the window. If you need anything, just come inside or wave to me, okay?"
Lilly nodded. "Okay."
She walked out into the big yard and looked around. The fence was lined with little trees in perfect squares. It looked funny, like they were big building blocks or something. Lilly had never seen trees that grew in shapes before.
There was a tree near the fence on one side and it had a swing on it like one of the parks her papa used to bring her to. She pulled herself onto the wooden seat using one of the ropes it hung by. When she settled down, her legs dangled down and she waved them back and forth the way her papa had taught her.
A rustling sound startled her and she pulled her legs up, looking around. It took a minute for her to figure out where the noise was coming from, and then she noticed two of the trees moving. "Hello?" she called out uncertainly.
The trees moved again, and a big dog limped forward, so his front half was just exposed through the slight gap in the trees. He had short, sharp little ears and a graying muzzle, and he was a pretty red color, like one of the chestnut horses Lilly's friend at home had owned. His lips drooped down and he looked hurt.
Lilly jumped down from the swing and ran over to him. "Are you okay?" she asked, raising a hand to touch his shoulder. He snuffled in response and she leaned forward, trying to understand. "Your foot looks like it has an ouchie," she said. "Sit down, I'll get some water. One time, when Mantequillo had an ouchie, we had to wash it and give him med’cine on it. He got better," she assured.
She ran into the kitchen to find her grandmother.
"There you are, dear. You looked like you were having fun on the swing. Is there anything I can get you?"
Lilly looked down, licking her lips. She wanted to make the dog feel better, but things didn't seem to work the same way, here, and she wasn't sure if her grandmother would understand. "Can I have a glass of water?" she asked finally.
"Of course, dear," her grandmother said with a smile. She turned away to fill a cup.
"Can I have a dog?" Lilly asked as she took the cup.
Her grandmother looked surprised. "A dog? Did your daddy have a dog for you?"
Lilly nodded. "Mantequillo. He plays fetch with me."
"Well, honey, I don't think a dog would be a good idea here. Dogs can be very messy and sometimes they can hurt children. I don't want you to be near any dogs here, okay?"
Lilly took a little sip of the water as she wondered what to do. The dog really needed help, and it would only take a minute. She wouldn't bring him inside or anything. And she'd stay clean, just like her grandmother wanted.
Lilly looked up. "I hurt my knee on the swing. Do you have med’cine? My Nana used to put med’cine on my ouchies and make them better." She pulled her dress up to show her grandmother the small cut on her knee she’d gotten a few days ago.
"Oh, dear! Of course, honey. Are you all right?"
"It just hurts a little," Lilly said quietly, taking another sip of water.
"Well, you come with me. We'll fix it right up."
Her grandmother sat her down in the bathroom and put thick medicine on her knee. Lilly slipped the small tube into her pocket.
"Is that better?" her grandmother asked, putting a bandage over the cut.
"Thank you," Lilly said politely. She grabbed the cup of water from the sink and followed her grandmother to the back door. She was a little worried when she didn't see the dog right away, but he crawled out from under one of the square trees when her grandmother went back inside.
"I got you med’cine," she said, sitting cross-legged next to him and taking the tube out of her pocket. "Let me see your paws." He looked at her blankly, and she leaned forward. "I want to help. Give me your paw."
It was easier to talk to Mantequillo. She could understand every head tilt, every tail wag. He was her friend. Mantequillo was a very smart dog, but this dog was a stranger and she wasn't sure how much he understood.
She made a rolling motion with her hand and touched his leg. "I'll help," she said again, pulling gently.
Finally, he rolled to the side, giving her his paw.
The thick part was red and one of his toes had a thorn stuck in it. "Oh, no," she said. She touched it tentatively, looking at the dog’s trusting face. "This might hurt," she warned.
She plucked the thorn out of the dog's foot and he whimpered and pulled his paw away. "Lo siento," she said softly, holding out her hand. "Come here, I'll make it better."
He stretched his foot out again, setting it in her lap, and she cleaned it carefully with the water and dried it with the underside of her dress, keeping any dirt on the inside. Her grandmother couldn't be mad at her for a stain no one would see.
Finally, she used ointment on the bottom of his paw everywhere it was red. She gave him a quick kiss when she let his paw go. "There. All better?"
The dog got up carefully, putting weight on the foot. He took a few steps, and Lilly clapped. He pranced around after that, running in little circles around her, and she laughed. "It is better!"
He stopped finally, and licked her face in thanks.
"You're welcome," she said, holding his huge face in her hands. She kissed him on the nose. "I'm Lilly," she said. "You should come visit me. I'm a little lonely sometimes."
The dog tilted his head and then leaned forward, grabbing her dress sleeve and tugging gently.
Lilly giggled. "I can't leave, silly! I have to stay until my papa comes back to get me."
He tugged more fiercely, and Lilly pursed her lips. "No! I can't come with you! I have to stay here-my mama wanted me here."
He growled a little bit and she tapped him on the nose. "I helped you! Be nice!"
The dog's ears flattened against his head and his lips drooped in a pout as he let go of her. His head fell sadly.
"It's okay," Lilly said, rubbing his ear. "I'm not mad at you. I wish I could come play, but I need to stay in the yard." She walked toward the swing to sit and the dog followed her slowly.
"What's your name?" Lilly asked, pulling herself onto the swing.
He turned his head at her again, as if he wondered what she was saying, and she tried Spanish. "¿Como se llamo?" she asked.
His head tilted the other way.
She pointed at herself. "Lilly." Then she pointed at him.
He bowed as if he finally understood, and then stood tall, pointing his ears and looking off with wide eyes. Then he crouched down and slunk along the ground, eyes moving every which way. Finally, he moved to Lilly's side, his back to her, and growled at non-existent enemies.
She clapped again. "Guardian!"
He nodded his big head and licked her hand.
Her grandmother yelled at her from the doorway. "Faith!"
Lilly turned to see her grandmother running out the back door, waving a broom. "Faith, just stay where you are! Don't move, honey!"
Lilly looked at her, not understanding. Then her grandmother swatted Guardian hard on the back end, sending him scurrying off into the bushes and through the fence. "Guardian," Lilly yelled. "Wait!" She turned to her grandmother whose face was all red and blotchy. "Why did you hit him?" Lilly asked, sniffling. "He was a nice dog."
"He is not a nice dog, Faith! He's a monster, and he shouldn't be here! Come inside."
Her grandmother's hand shook around hers as she pulled her into the house. "Stewart! Stewart." They walked to the living room, where the older man was sitting on the couch. "Stewart, that Mars dog nearly attacked Faith! You need to call Sherriff Lamb and take care of this. And we need to have someone repair the fence. There must be a hole in it somewhere."
The man's eyes narrowed, and Lilly shrunk back. "I'll call," he said shortly. "Why don't you start her with the notebook?" he said.
Her grandmother started to pull her away when the man called out to them. "Rose? Did you call the doctor today?"
Her grandmother looked down at her for a moment, then back up. "We have an appointment tomorrow."
He nodded. "Good. The sooner we get her treated, the better."
Lilly was pulled into the kitchen again, and her grandmother sat her in a chair. "Are you okay?" her grandmother asked. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
Lilly crinkled her forehead. "He wanted to play," she said, confused.
"Did he get you anywhere? Did he bite or scratch?"
Lilly shook her head. "No, no. He was nice."
Her grandmother took a deep breath. "If you ever see him again, Lilly, I need you to tell me. And you won't be going outside again until he's taken care of." Her grandmother pulled her into a tight hug, and Lilly struggled to lift her head to breath.
"Oh, honey," her grandmother said, "I was so scared for you." She took a deep breath, her entire chest moving against Lilly's little body, and Lilly was relieved when Rose finally released her.
"Now, honey, before dinner, we were going to have you learn to write your new name. We thought it would be a nice project for you, to get you used to it."
“I can write my name. Papa taught me.”
"Well, we want you to learn your new name, now, honey. It's a little longer, but you're a smart girl. I'm sure you'll pick it up just like that." She snapped her fingers and smiled.
Lilly looked up at her uncertainly. "But I don't want-"
"Honey," her grandmother said sternly. "Don't start this again. We've explained it to you. Your name is Faith."
"I don't want you to call me that," Lilly said stubbornly. "My name is Lilly!" She sat up straight, glaring at her grandmother.
"Hey, guys," Aunt Grace greeted from the doorway. Lilly looked over at her. "What's going on?"
Lilly's grandmother continued to stare at her. "Faith here was just going to learn to write her name."
"Oh, fun." Grace sat down in a chair, setting a bag against the wall. "I can help her if you want, Mom," she said, winking at Lilly.
Lilly looked back at her grandmother, who still looked angry. "Why don't you do that, Gracie. I have to work on dinner."
"Why don't we go upstairs, and you can work at my desk? It's a little quieter up there."
Lilly nodded, looking nervously at her grandmother as they walked by, but she let them leave the room without saying anything.
***
Aunt Grace knelt in front of her when they got up to the room. "Sorry about that. My mom can be kind of intense sometimes. I know she's being weird about your name. Makes you mad, huh?"
"I don't want to be Faith," Lilly said quietly, worried that her aunt would yell at her, too.
Her aunt rubbed her arm gently. "I know. It must be awful, being taken out of your home and everything. Bet you miss your dad, huh?"
Lilly nodded.
"He's okay, I promise. He just can't come see you right now."
"What if he doesn't know I'm me when he comes back?" Lilly whispered. "What if they change my name and I'm not the same?"
"Oh, sweetie, don't worry. Whatever they call you, it won't change you on the inside. You'll still be Lilly where it counts. And your dad will know you no matter what, okay? I promise."
"Why don't they like me?" Lilly asked.
"Who? My folks? Oh, they like you. They just worry about things sometimes that they shouldn't. And, sometimes it's just easier to agree with them. Let them call you Faith, okay? It won't change anything, it'll just get them off your back."
Lilly reached a hand over her shoulder curiously and her aunt laughed.
"Sorry. Figure of speech. They won't bother you so much if you just let them call you Faith." She stood up. "Come here, I'll show you how to write it." She lifted Lilly easily onto the chair at the desk. Lilly couldn't quite see over the edge of it.
Her aunt giggled. "Here, let me grab some books." She set Lilly down and put some big books on the chair. When she lifted Lilly up again, she could rest her elbows on the desk. "There you are."
Aunt Grace showed her the loopy letters of her new name, and she practiced in the thick book for a few minutes, printing the word over and over, carefully.
"Perfect! Just think, you learned a new word today."
Her aunt ruffled her hair, and Lilly smiled a little.
***
The next day was a little better. Lilly answered quietly when her grandmother called her Faith, and her grandmother praised her work in the notebook and let her wear her comfortable clothes.
Then they went for a ride in the car, and Lilly's grandmother took her hand as they walked into a building as big as the mall, down long, long hallways that were bright white. Lilly moved closer to her grandmother when the smell in the hallway got funny.
"Where are we going?" Lilly asked again, quietly.
"We're just getting you a checkup with the doctor."
Lilly slowed. "Doctors help sick people. I'm not sick." She tugged slightly on her grandmother's hand.
"Faith, we need to do this. It won't take long, but you need to see the doctor."
"I'm not sick," Lilly repeated, stopping in the hallway.
Her grandmother picked her up. "It's just a checkup, honey."
Lilly tried to relax as they walked down the hallway, and then her grandmother carried her through a door into a big office, and it still smelled funny and she was scared.
"Please don't make me," she whispered, clinging to her grandmother. "I'm not sick."
"Honey, you're very small for your age. You must know that, right? Don't you want to be like the other kids?"
"But Papa said I was perfect, just like this," Lilly said, burying her face into her grandmother's shoulder.
"Of course he did, sweetie," said her grandmother, rubbing her back. "He didn't want to make you feel bad. But what if we can make you better? That's what the doctor is for. He just wants to make you grow like the other kids."
"I'm scared."
"I'll be right here with you, honey."
Lilly sobbed quietly against her grandmother's shoulder until someone led them to another room, where the doctor was.
Her grandmother talked about hormones and diets and disorders as Lilly hid her head. None of the big words made sense, but they didn't sound good.
"There's a possibility that this may not work," Lilly heard the doctor say. "If her pituitary hormones are normal, the injections won't help. She'd need multiple surgical procedures to lengthen her bones, and even then, her stature would be abnormal."
"Well we have to try something," her grandmother snapped. "Look at her!"
"Let us start the lab-work and I'll give the first injection, but, Mrs. Manning, there's a limit to what science can do."
"We just want her to be a normal girl, doctor."
Lilly cried into her grandmother's shirt. Her papa had liked that she was special. Her papa had said she was perfect.
She screamed for him when they took her blood; she cried desperately when they jabbed another needle high in her arm. There was a mark where the nurse had held onto her, and that hurt, too.
Lilly wondered if her mama could see her anymore, now that she wasn't home and they'd changed her name. Because she wasn't happy, and she didn't feel safe, and surely her mama would do something if she could see, wouldn't she?
***
Lilly was more hurt and lost than she'd been since she'd watched the police car drive away with her papa inside.
Her grandmother offered her ice cream on the way out of the doctor's, but Lilly just shook her head. "I'm tired," she said quietly.
"When we get home, I'll get you an ice pack, and you can go lie down with it. It'll help your arm feel better."
Lilly nodded hesitantly and stared out the window at the sky.
When her grandmother stopped the car and helped her out, Lilly refused to take her hand and walked up the sidewalk on her own.
Her grandmother touched her head, petting her like she would pet Mantequillo or Guardian. Lilly moved her head away and went inside as soon as her grandmother opened the door.
There was an older woman in the living room who reminded Lilly of Nana. When the woman looked up and smiled, Lilly smiled back shyly.
Her grandmother moved past both of them to get to the kitchen, and Lilly curtseyed like her Nana had taught her. "Hola, Señora, mucho gusto," she said.
The woman's smile got wider. "Hola, señorita. Eres Lilly?"
"Si!" Lilly exclaimed. The woman knew her name! "¿Como sabe mi nombre?"
"Yo conocia a tú papa, y-"
"Faith!" Her grandmother's voice was stern as she came out of the kitchen with an ice pack and led Lilly up the stairs, pulling her away from the nice woman in the living room. The woman waved at her with a sad smile as Lilly watched over her shoulder, stumbling up the stairs.
Her grandmother lifted Lilly onto her bed and settled the ice pack against the sorest spot on Lilly's arm, where the needle had stuck. "There you are, dear. Why don't you lie down?"
"Can I talk to the nice lady later?" Lilly asked.
Her grandmother looked at her curiously. "The nice-oh, Mrs. Navarro? You don't need to talk to her, honey. She comes and cleans the house sometimes, that's all. And, Faith? Don't speak Spanish. You don't need it, and people will make fun of you. Here, you'll be expected to use English, so it's best that you get used to that, okay?"
Lilly frowned. She missed talking to people at the market, missed talking to the kids at school. "I'm sleepy, now," Lilly finally said, wanting her grandmother to leave her alone.
"All right, dear." Her grandmother kissed her forehead gently. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."
Lilly nodded and leaned into her pillows, trying not to hurt her arm again. The tears came fast, rolling hot down her cheeks as she cried. She didn't want to be here! She wanted to go home and be with Papa and Nana, and run on the beach, and be called by her own name. Everything hurt and she didn't understand why she couldn't talk to the nice Señora downstairs, who had seemed so nice, like home.
"Hey, what's going on?" her aunt asked softly from the doorway.
Lilly rolled over, wiping her nose. "I want to go home, Aunt Grace! I don't want to be here anymore!"
Her aunt looked at the ice pack against her arm and came into the room. "What happened?" she asked again.
"They stuck me with needles and I can't talk to the lady downstairs and I don't want to be Faith, and I want my papa to come back and take me home!" Lilly was sobbing again, and she leaned against her aunt when Grace put an arm around her.
Lilly wiped her nose again and looked up at the pictures on the walls. Her voice was small and ragged. "My papa told me that Mama watches me to make sure I'm happy and safe. But I'm not, Aunt Grace, I'm not happy, and I don't think she's here."
Her aunt held her close. "Oh, honey, believe me, if she could, your mama would help you." Her voice was funny and it sounded like she had the hiccups. When Lilly looked up, she saw a tear on her aunt's face.
"Are you okay?" she asked, sitting up.
Her aunt smiled, wiping away the tear with her hand. "Yeah, I'm okay. I've got to go downstairs for a few. You're gonna be fine. I'm gonna make sure." She helped Lilly lie back down before she left.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. Lilly's grandmother checked on her, and the older man, her grandfather, told her to be brave, and her aunt came back and fed her ice cream.
Lilly talked to the pictures of her mama when she was alone, but it was only because she was lonely. She knew her mama couldn't hear her anymore.
***
The next day, Lilly woke up and heard loud voices. She slipped out of bed carefully, cradling her arm, and crept to the top of the stairs.
"You can't just put her in there! You'll scare her!"
"Gracie, she's not ready for church. She's led a Godless existence with that Kane boy, and she needs time. She's been pouting at your mother and ignoring our requests…she needs a time out. She needs to think about her life and how it needs to change."
"Dad, you can't do this to her! How do you think-"
"Grace! This is not up for discussion. She'll be fine. She just needs to learn her place."
"Fine!" Her aunt sounded very angry, and Lilly ran to her room when she heard footsteps coming closer. "Just let me talk to her."
Lilly climbed into her bed and pulled the covers over herself, frightened.
"Hey, you awake?" her aunt asked. Lilly felt the bed move when her aunt sat down.
"Yeah?" she said, pushing the covers back a little.
"Look, we're going to go away for a little while, and…" She looked down, and Lilly noticed her eyes looked funny. Shiny and scrunched up.
Her aunt looked up again. "When my dad comes up here, he's gonna have you go in a little room, okay? And it's gonna be dark, and it might be a little scary." She reached over and took Lilly's hand gently, and Lilly held on tight. "I don't want you to worry, though, all right? When he has you go in there, I need you to count as high as you can. How high can you count?"
Lilly looked up shyly. "20."
Her aunt smiled. "Great. That's great. I need you to count to twenty three times, okay? I'm going to unlatch the door before we go, and you can come out after you count. When you hear us come back, I need you to go back in the room and shut the door."
"Why?"
Her aunt sighed. "It's just better that way, sweetie. Don't worry, all right? We'll get you out of this, somehow. Just…please. Do this for now."
Lilly gulped and nodded. "I…I'll try," she said quietly.
"Good girl."
***
She tried to be quiet when the man came upstairs and put her in the little room, but it was dark, and it was scary, and she kept losing count. "Aunt Grace?" she finally called out. "Aunt Grace, please let me out! Please, I don't want to be in here anymore! It's so dark…"
Lilly didn't know what she'd counted to, she was too scared to remember her numbers, and she just wanted to get away from the musty smells and the darkness. She pulled at the little door and it finally slid aside, and she was free.
Nowhere in the house felt safe. The bed was too close to the little room, so Lilly crept down the stairs.
Her grandmother had yelled at her in the kitchen, and the man was usually in the living room. She didn't like that room.
Finally, Lilly headed to the back door, standing on tip-toe to twist the knob and let herself out. She tried to be quiet as she crept out to sit under the square trees.
Lilly shivered. It had been so dark in there, and so small, and it had smelled like an old book her papa had on one of his shelves. She didn't ever want to go in there again. She wanted to be Lilly. She wanted her mama to know where she was, and she wanted her papa to take her home.
She was curled up under the tree, crying, when she felt a nudge at her shoulder.
Lilly looked up. "Guardian!" she said, smiling a little.
He snuffled and nudged her arm playfully, jumping back when she yelled in pain.
"It's okay," she reassured him finally. "I just…they poked me with a needle and it hurts, still."
He moved a little closer, sniffing and then nuzzling, and Lilly threw her arms around his thick neck. "Oh, Guardian, you're my best friend," she told him.
He was smiling when she backed away and she smiled back. "I wish you could stay here with me forever and ever. But my grandmother doesn't like dogs. She's going to be mad if she finds out you're here."
Guardian growled a little bit, looking at the back door.
"I'm sorry she hit you," Lilly whispered. "She thought you were mean. She doesn't understand." Lilly sniffled and wiped her nose. "I miss my papa. He'd understand. He'd let me keep you."
Guardian tilted his head at her and then circled around, nudging her forward with his nose, pushing her further into the trees, toward the fence.
Lilly hesitated. "I'm supposed to stay here," she said softly.
Guardian growled a little bit and then licked her cheek. He nudged her again.
Lilly had wanted to stay because they'd said her mama wanted her there. But she knew her mama wasn't watching her anymore. If her mama had wanted her to stay, wouldn't she be here? Wouldn't she be making sure Lilly was safe and happy?
Even Aunt Grace had said she'd get her out. Maybe this was what she was supposed to do. Maybe this was what Aunt Grace had meant.
"Okay," Lilly finally said, moving forward under the trees, trying to keep her dress clean. "I'll come with you."
The trip was long, and hard on her bare feet. When Lilly couldn't walk anymore, Guardian bent down and let her climb on his back. She held tight to his neck as he walked down the wide streets, past huge houses and more funny-shaped bushes.
Finally, he walked up the steps to a small, brown house with a porch and a little patterned rug in front of the door that looked like the one in front of her door at home.
"This is your house?" Lilly asked as she slid down off Guardian's back.
He nodded, and then barked loudly at the door. Lilly covered her ears and looked at him crossly.
Before she could say anything, the door opened, and a pale woman with yellow hair came out looking angry. "Backup, for crying out loud-" and then the woman saw Lilly and stopped yelling.
Lilly ducked her head and moved closer to Guardian. Finally she waved shyly.
The woman bent down. "Hi, sweetie. Are you lost?"
Lilly looked up at the soft tone in the woman's voice and ran her hand nervously over Guardian's shoulder. "Guardian told me to come here."
The woman tilted her head, a lot like Guardian did. "Who-Lilly?"
The woman was suddenly looking at her with wide eyes, and Lilly looked away, staring at the ground.
"Lilly, is that you?" The woman stood up and Lilly leaned against Guardian again, holding the skin on his shoulder possessively. "Why don't you come inside, sweetie," the woman said, looking around like she was afraid someone was coming.
Lilly wasn't sure, but when Guardian walked into the house, Lilly followed. She trusted him. They'd helped each other. He was her friend.
"Can I get you something to drink, or eat?" the woman asked.
Lilly found that she was a little thirsty. "Water, please," she said quietly.
"Now," the woman said quietly, filling a cup for her, "Who did you say told you to come here?"
Lilly looked over at Guardian, who gave her a quick encouraging nudge. "Guardian. Your dog?"
The woman smiled and her eyes squinted up as she handed Lilly the cup. "You named him Guardian?"
Lilly shrugged, looking down. "No, he said that was his name," she mumbled, hoping the woman wouldn't make her go away, hoping that Guardian had brought her to the right place.
"Really? Well, we call him Backup, but Guardian sounds a bit more noble, doesn't it?"
Lilly gave her a little smile.
A low voice came from the doorway. "Hey V, I heard Backup. Did he finally get-oh. Hello there." Lilly turned, gripping Guardian's shoulder hard as she looked up at the man in the doorway. He had dark eyes and skin and no hair on his head, kind of like the man at the market that her papa bought vegetables from sometimes. When he bent down in front of her, he gave her a nice smile.
She lifted a hand to wave at him. "Hola," she said softly, sparing a quick glance at the yellow haired woman to see if she'd be scolded.
The man seemed surprised, and then he laughed a little. "Hola, señorita. ¿Como te llamas?"
Lilly smiled gently, loosening her grip on Guardian's shoulder. "Me llamo Lilly."
The smile faded away as the man looked up behind her at the yellow haired girl, and Lilly corrected herself quickly. "I mean, Faith!"
"No," the woman said from behind her. Lilly felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned fearfully. The woman was kneeling behind her, smiling. "Your name is Lilly." The woman hugged her gently, and Lilly relaxed a little bit when she didn't get yelled at, though she still kept a hand on Guardian's shoulder.
"I'm Veronica," the woman said, releasing Lilly. "That's Eli. We knew your dad when you were just a baby."
Lilly looked up at the woman. Veronica. "Do you know where he is? I want to go home."
Veronica hugged her again. "Let me see what I can do, okay?"
Lilly stared at her. "Really? I can go home?" Was it really that easy?
"I don't know about that, honey, but we'll see if we can't get you in to see your dad." Veronica looked up at the man in the doorway. Eli. "Can you take her for a few? I need to call Cliff." She stood up and walked away, and Lilly moved to lean against Guardian again.
"Is Papa better now?" Lilly asked Eli quietly.
"Better?"
"They said he was sick. That he had to get better before I could see him."
Eli shook his head and laughed a little. "Well, there's a difference of opinion, there, I guess. Your papa is fine. He's just…he's not able to come and see you right now. Veronica's gonna try to make it so you can visit him, okay?"
Lilly smiled. "Really? I can see him?"
"We're gonna try, chiquita."
She smiled and looked down. "My papa calls me that."
He smiled back. "Yeah? Your papa's a good guy." He put out his hand, and after a moment Lilly took it. "Why don't you tell me about what happened to bring you out here. We can sit down in the other room."
When Lilly shrunk away he let go, and Guardian nuzzled her comfortingly. "Or we can talk right here, about your home. Whatever you want," Eli said quietly.
It seemed safer, somehow, to tell him in Spanish, because they wouldn't understand her if they heard. She felt a little bad for leaving her grandmother, and she missed her Aunt Grace. But Veronica and Eli seemed nice, and Guardian was her friend, and she wanted to see her papa.
Eli's face got funny when she told him about the dark closet, and he took her hand. "We're gonna make sure that doesn't happen again. Can you tell someone else what you just told me?"
Lilly shrugged. "I guess so." She looked up. "Is my grandmother going to be in trouble? I don't want them to be mad at me."
He squeezed her hand. "I know, chiquita. We just want to make sure you don't have to stay with them if you don't want to. That's all."
"I don't want to go back," she said fearfully.
"Shhh…you don't have to. Veronica will make sure."
Lilly nodded and smiled, thinking about her papa.
She wasn't as worried or scared, and she was very sleepy. When Guardian crawled up on the couch next to her, she leaned on him and fell asleep.
***
"Lilly?"
"Papa?" Lilly called out sleepily.
"It's Eli, Lilly. There's someone here to talk to you, okay? Her name is Elena, and she's a social worker. She's going to help us. You just need to tell her what you told me."
She opened her eyes slowly, and when she felt Guardian move under her, she remembered her trip and her new friends. "Eli," she said quietly.
"Yeah, chiquita?"
"I won't have to go back?"
"Just tell her what you told me. I'll be right here."
Lilly told the story again to the tall woman in a fancy suit who had a pad of paper in front of her that she kept drawing on. Her face got stormy as Lilly told her the story, and Lilly got worried and stopped.
"You can tell her," Eli reassured.
"She looks mad," Lilly whispered.
Eli smiled and ruffled her hair. "She's not mad at you."
When she looked back at Elena, the woman smiled, and Lilly told her the rest in a quiet voice.
The woman asked a lot of questions after that, mostly about the man who'd put her in the closet, and Lilly tried to answer as much as she could.
"Eli, I'm tired," she finally murmured, and he hugged her gently.
"We're almost done."
The woman with the questions nodded. "We should be all set." She stood up. "I need to consult with Mr. Kane's lawyers, and speak to the Mannings. I'll do what I can."
"Thank you," Eli said, and he let go of Lilly's hand to walk the woman to the door.
***
Lilly was just getting used to the new house and the new people when Veronica took her away to the hospital again. Lilly pulled fearfully at the door of the car. "Please, I don't want to go! Please don't make me, don't make me!"
She got frantic when Veronica carried her down the hall with the scary smells, and Veronica finally set her down. "Lilly. Lilly!"
"I'm not sick," Lilly said fearfully.
"I know. But I'm worried about your arm, honey, and we need to be sure that it's okay."
"It's getting better. It feels better already!" She tried to show Veronica by moving it, but it hurt too much.
Veronica smiled. "See? Don't you want it to feel better?"
"I'm scared. They made it hurt," Lilly admitted quietly.
"I'm going to be right there with you."
"I don't want to," Lilly whispered.
Veronica hugged her. "I know. I'm sorry."
Lilly cried when they went into the room with doctor, and the doctor used big words and she was sure they were going to hold her down again and poke her with needles.
Lilly struggled to get down as the doctor talked. "…no lasting damage from the injection. Alternate heat and cold, use massage it if she's comfortable with that." Lilly heard the doctor shift toward her and she squirmed harder to get away. Veronica held her tightly.
The doctor continued. "Mr. Kane had her records forwarded to us, and there's no sign of a disorder. She's small. If they'd waited for the blood-work, they would have known that the injections wouldn't help. Mr. Kane was very cautious with her medical care. He did everything he could."
"Thank you," Veronica said, and she stood with Lilly still squirming in her arms.
The doctor moved around to look Lilly in the eye, and she peeked at him over Veronica's shoulder. "You're a perfectly healthy girl, Lilly," the doctor said. "And you get a sticker for being so good today." He held out his hand with a bright red sticker on it, and Lilly took it slowly.
"Thank you," she whispered. She clung to Veronica as they left, winding her fingers together around Veronica's neck.
Her papa had always said that, too, that she was perfect just the way she was.
***
It was two days later that Lilly finally saw her papa again. Eli and Veronica took her to a big place with lots of policemen and loud noises, and when she got scared, Eli carried her.
Finally, they got to a little room with seats and funny cabinets and big windows across the middle of the room.
She saw him after a minute, on the other side of one of the windows, and she yelled excitedly. "Papa!" She tried to jump out of Eli's arms, but he held her tight and carried her over to the window.
Eli held her up to the glass and she pushed at it, trying to get to him. "Papa! I missed you!"
He looked like he was talking, and he looked sad with his face all scrunched up. He reached out and put his big hand on the glass against her tiny one.
"Remember, you'll need to use this to talk to him," Eli said gently, handing her the phone from the wall of the cabinet. Lilly hadn't talked on the phone before, and Eli helped her hold it as she yelled into it. "Papa! Hello?"
Eli laughed. "You don't have to yell, he'll hear you."
When she looked up again, her papa had a phone in his hand, too, and his voice sounded funny, and it was coming from next to her ear, even though she could see him talking across from her.
"Lillita! How are you?"
"I’m okay," she said, her lips trembling as she started to cry. "I want to go home, papa."
His fingers moved against the glass. "I know sweetie, but you need to stay with Eli and Veronica for a little while. Are they being good to you?"
Lilly swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, papa. They were going to take me to the beach today."
"Will you pick out a shell for me?"
She smiled, sniffing back her tears. "I'll find the perfect one," she promised.
"That's my girl," he said with a smile.
"Papa?"
"What, sweetie?"
"That shirt looks funny on you."
He laughed. "It does, doesn't it?"
"I wish you could come out and see me. I miss you."
"I miss you, too, sweetie. But you can come and see me every week, okay? I'm counting on you."
"I'll come see you," she promised.
They talked for a while longer, and then he asked to talk to Veronica, and Eli bounced Lilly on his knee while she made funny faces at her papa and made him laugh.
She wanted to be able to sit in his lap and feel him hug her, but he had told her everything was going to be all right, and she had to believe him. Papa was always right.
***
When they got back from the beach, Lilly ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Veronica had made, and sat on the couch with Guardian.
When the door bell rang, Veronica got up, and came back with Aunt Grace.
"Aunt Grace!" Lilly called out. She started to slide off the couch and then changed her mind. What if her aunt was here to take her back? What if she was angry?
"Hey, Lilly!" her aunt called, and Lilly smiled. She sounded happy. "I brought you something," her aunt said, and Lilly slid off the couch and ran over, her last doubts allayed by thoughts of a present.
"What? What did you get me?" Lilly asked.
Her aunt held out a big book, and Lilly struggled to carry it to the low table in front of the couch. She opened it carefully, and found the pictures of her mama pressed in the pages.
Lilly looked up in amazement. "It's Mama!"
"Yeah. I thought you'd want those, so you can say goodnight properly."
Lilly turned back and flipped the pages carefully. Her mama looked like an angel.
She heard her aunt talking quietly with Veronica, something about hearings and testimony. Lilly didn't care. She had pictures of her mama, in a book that she could take with her wherever she went.
She had just gotten to the last page and was getting up when she saw Veronica hug her aunt.
"Grace," Veronica said. "Thank you so much. It means a lot."
Grace smiled, but Lilly thought she looked a little sad. "It's what Meg would have wanted." She turned to Lilly and waved at her. "I'll see you soon, okay?"
Lilly ran over and hugged her leg. "Okay, Aunt Grace. Thank you for the pictures."
"You got it, sweetie. Love you." Her aunt bent down and kissed her quickly on the forehead. "She's still watching over you," her aunt said quietly.
"I know," Lilly said, reaching out. Guardian slid under her outstretched hand, and Veronica moved a little closer to her as her aunt stood up.
Lilly still missed her papa, but she felt happy and safe again just like her mama wanted, and Papa had promised that everything would be okay.
THE END
fairy tale: Thumbelina
twist: a character has to make him-/ herself understood in a foreign language
Author: Shealynn88
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~10000 words
Spoilers: up to Donut Run
Characters: mini!Lilly and the Mannings, other peripheral characters
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I'm just playing.
Summary: (future!fic) After five years the law catches up with Duncan, and little Lilly Kane finds herself with a new family to adjust to.
Author's Note: written for the Twisted Tales challenge. The fairy tale it's based on and the 'twist' are both listed at the end of the fic.
Thanks to laiquendai, caalan, taken_with_you and snoopypez for their help with 5-year-old characterization (I took a few liberties) and encouragement, and to mandilyn for Spanish assistance and general hand-holding.
"Tell me about Mama, again," Lilly begged, settling back against her pillow for the night.
Her papa just smiled. "All right. But then you have to promise to go to sleep."
She nodded hastily and her papa lay down next to her, combing her hair with his fingers as he told her the story again: how her mama had been brave and had loved her and wanted her to be safe with Papa…how there had been an accident, and Mama had gone to heaven. How Mama couldn't sit with Lilly and tell her bedtime stories, but she loved her just the same, and watched over her, even if Lilly couldn't see.
It made her a little sad, sometimes, that she'd never be able to see her mama, but Papa said that Mama could still hear her, and that made it better.
The story ended the same way it always did. "So, Mama watches over you every day and every night, making sure that you're happy and safe." Papa kissed her on the forehead and she giggled.
"Now," he said with mock-sternness, grabbing the ever-present photo from her bedside table. "Say goodnight."
The photo was worn and a little faded in its frame, but Lilly loved it. Her mama looked like an angel, with her hair shining in the sun like a halo.
"Goodnight, Mama," Lilly said softly, kissing the smudged glass.
"Say Buenos noches to Señor Gato."
"Buenos noches, Señor Gato," she said to the huge grey cat at the foot of her bed. He stretched and winked at her in response.
"Say Buenos noches to Mantequillo."
"Buenos noches, Mantequillo," she whispered to the dog stretched out in her doorway. He thumped his tail and smiled at her.
"Now get some sleep, chiquita. Nana is going to take you to the beach tomorrow."
"Oh, Papa! Will there will be shells?"
He chucked her under the chin and she giggled. "I'll bet there will."
She yawned suddenly. "Why does Nana have to go away at night? I wish she could stay here forever and ever."
"She has to take care of her own family, chiquita. She'll be here tomorrow in time to make you breakfast."
"Okay," Lilly agreed sleepily.
"Buenos noches, Lillita," he whispered, kissing her forehead again. "Dulces sueños."
"Y tú, Papa," she murmured, her eyelids fluttering closed.
***
Lilly woke in the middle of the night to Mantequillo's furious barking. Bright red and blue lights flashed through her window and she slipped out of bed fearfully. She had to find her papa-he would know how to make the lights go away.
Her papa was arguing with policemen on the front lawn, and she screamed when one of them grabbed him and pushed him to the ground. "Lilly!" he yelled, fighting to get away from them.
"Papa!" she cried, running to him. The men moved away a little and he sat up, but when she threw her arms around his neck he didn't hug her back and she was desperately afraid.
"Papa, what's happening?" she asked, trying not to cry.
He curled his chin over her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, sweetie. Let me talk to the policemen, okay?"
She nodded slowly and let him go. When he stood, she saw metal glinting around his wrists, and she sobbed. She wanted to be brave, but she couldn't help it. The policemen were arguing and looking at her strangely, and they wouldn't let her papa hug her… She clung to his leg as tears ran down her cheeks.
"Please," her papa said softly to the men. "I'll come with you. Just, take these off. She's scared enough already."
A pale policeman stepped forward. "Take them off. We don't need her crying all the way to Neptune." Lilly glared at him, but he didn't even notice. He turned to her papa. "She's tiny, Duncan. This is Faith?"
"Her name is Lilly," her papa said, sounding angry as one of the other policemen freed his hands.
Lilly's tears slowed when he swept her up into his arms.
"Ready?" the pale policeman asked.
Lilly felt him nod against her and he carried her to one of the cars, murmuring softly. "Hush, sweetie, we'll figure this out."
***
Her papa held her tightly as the car bounced over the dirt roads. His voice sounded funny when he finally spoke. "When we get where we're going, I'm gonna have to leave you for a little while, okay? But I don't want you to worry."
Her lips puckered in confusion. "You'll be gone?" she asked softly, locking her fingers possessively behind his neck.
He nodded slowly. "For a while," he said softly.
"Like Mama?" she whispered.
He squeezed her tight and she wormed up under his chin. "No, sweetie. Not like Mama. I'll come back for you as soon as I can." He made a funny gulpy noise in his throat and she looked up at him.
"Papa?"
"It's all right, sweetie."
It didn't seem alright, but she trusted him.
Lilly was just starting to relax when she thought of her friends at home. "Papa! If we're going away for a while, who's going to take care of Mantequillo and Señor Gato?"
He laughed a little and held her tighter. "I'm sure Nana will take care of them for us. Don't worry, Lillita."
She nodded slowly and let her head fall onto his shoulder. Finally, the motion of the car soothed her into sleep.
***
Her papa kissed her goodbye and said he'd see her again, but she was still scared when the policeman took her out of the car and held her shoulder while it drove away with her papa still inside.
When they couldn't see the car anymore the policeman pulled her away gently, leading her up a walkway to a big house. Lilly kept looking over her shoulder, hoping to see the car pull up again, but it never did.
"Papa," she whispered as she stumbled up the steps to the front door.
When the policeman knocked, an older woman answered the door. Her face twisted up for a second before she raised her hands to cover her mouth. "This is her? This is Faith?"
Lilly looked up to see the policeman nod.
"She's so small," the woman said sadly, and Lilly hunched closer to the policeman as the woman stared at her. Suddenly, the woman bent and pulled Lilly against her. "Faith! My God, what has he done to you?" the woman exclaimed, grabbing hold of her shoulders and holding her at arm's length to look her up and down.
Lilly looked up at the policeman. "He took my papa away," she said softly.
The woman pulled her close again and Lilly tried to wriggle away, but the woman only held her tighter.
"Oh, honey, we're going to take great care of you. You're going to love it here, I promise." She released Lilly and stood to shake the policeman’s hand and thank him. Lilly watched in confusion. The policeman had taken her away from her papa. Why was the woman thanking him?
The policeman turned to leave and the woman led Lilly inside, shutting the door loudly and making Lilly jump.
The woman bent down again to talk to her. "Faith, I'm your grandmother, Rose. Your grandfather and I have always wanted to take care of you, honey. It's like a dream come true to have you home with us."
Lilly looked around her, confused. She had been home, and then the policemen had taken her away, and these people kept calling her the wrong name.
"I don't think I'm supposed to be here," she said. She wanted to tell the woman about her home and tell her that Papa would be back for her any minute now, but then a stern man stepped into the room and she was quiet.
"This is her?" he asked the woman. Rose. He shook his head, looking angry, and Lilly edged backward. "This can't be her! They must have made a mistake."
"Stewart,” Rose chided. “This is her. This is Faith."
He shook his head again and crouched down in front of Lilly. "How old are you, honey?" he asked in a gravely voice.
Lilly shivered and held up her hand, spreading her fingers to show them all.
"Five?" he asked.
She nodded.
He stood up and turned back to the woman. "This can't be right. She looks like she's three."
Lilly held her hand up, trying to spread her fingers wider. She wasn't three!
"It's her, Stewart. It's really her."
The two of them hugged for a moment and Lilly missed her papa. She just wanted him to pick her up and hold her and tell her again that everything would be okay, because it didn't feel okay. It felt strange and the house was too big and the woman kept crying…
"Oh, honey, you must be so tired," Rose finally said. "Why don't you come upstairs and I'll show you your room?"
She led Lilly up the stairs slowly and stopped at the first door. "This is the bathroom if you need it. You can just call us if you need help."
She moved to the next room and tapped on the door. "This is our room. Your grandfather and me. You can come in any time, okay, if you're scared or worried or if you need something…?"
She waited expectantly and Lilly finally nodded, not knowing what else to do. The woman nodded back, looking satisfied.
Finally, they walked to a room near the back of the house. When Rose opened the door to one of the rooms there, Lilly shrunk back in confusion.
Pictures of her mama hung on the walls. She'd only ever seen the one papa had her kiss every night, and this was suddenly too much. She was crying again, heavy sobs that scared and embarrassed her.
"Oh, honey, shhh…" The woman picked her up and cradled her against her shoulder. "It's okay, it's all right. This was your mother's room, sweetheart. We saved it for you. She would have wanted you to have it. She wanted you to stay with us, honey, she wanted us to be your family."
"But, my papa…"
"Your daddy's sick, sweetie. He needs to get better before he can see you again. That's why your mommy wanted us to take care of you-he should never have taken you away, but it's all better now. You're safe here, okay?"
Lilly took a shuddering breath. She'd been safe before, at home with her papa. Now he was sick and she couldn't see him and she was scared. "What's wrong with him? Will they give him med’cine? When I'm sick, Papa puts a cold cloth on my forehead and rubs my belly."
"Oh, it's not that kind of sick, honey. He just…needs some time."
"I want to go home," Lilly whispered. She missed Papa, and Nana, and her house, and the beach, and Mantequillo and Señor Gato.
The woman tucked her into bed carefully and kissed her on the forehead. "It's going to take some time to get used to things here. But this is your home, honey. Your real home. Get a good night's sleep, Faith. Tomorrow we'll go shopping and get you whatever you need, okay?"
Lilly tried not to be scared. After all, the pictures on the wall were familiar; it must be okay if her mama had lived here.
Lilly pretended the woman's hand was her papa's as it smoothed her hair back from her forehead. "Goodnight, Mama," she murmured to the pictures on the wall. Finally, she fell asleep.
***
Lilly woke with bright light in her eyes, coming through the big windows of the room. When she looked up, she saw a figure in the doorway with shining blonde hair and a wide smile.
"Mama?" she whispered, sitting up.
"Hi, there," the woman said as she walked into the room. "I'm your aunt Grace. It's Lilly, right?"
Lilly nodded, looking around at the pictures on the wall. Pictures of her mama. They looked a lot like the lady who was sitting at the bottom of the bed. "Aunt Grace?" she repeated hesitantly.
"That's me." The lady smiled again, and Lilly smiled back. She'd never had an aunt before. All the kids she knew at home had big families-sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles. It was sort of exciting to have an aunt of her very own, even though she missed her papa awfully.
"So," Aunt Grace continued, "I guess my mom's taking you shopping today, huh? You like to shop?"
Lilly thought about the market at home, with all the people talking and laughing, and the smells, and the strays at the edge of the crowd waiting for scraps.
She nodded shyly.
Her aunt leaned forward. "You should have a great time, then. Pick the good stuff! Mom will spare no expense." Lilly didn't quite understand, but she smiled when her aunt winked at her.
Grace stood up. "Well, I've got to get to school," she said. "I'll see you later."
Lilly just nodded shyly, picking at her covers.
Grace walked to the door and then turned back, and her voice was very quiet. "I know this must be strange for you, but it'll get better."
Lilly nodded as her aunt disappeared from the doorway, and then she slipped out of bed and pulled her long pajama shirt straight. Finally, she walked slowly down the long staircase, looking at the careful arrangement of books and little figurines around the house. It was different from home, where everything was soft and the tables and the chairs were worn and comfortable. Everything here was so pretty and shiny and untouchable.
"Faith!" The woman, Rose, called from nearby.
Lilly turned. "My name is Lilly," she said softly.
The woman took her hand, leading her into a brightly lit kitchen. "No, honey, it's not," she said gently. "Your name is Faith. It's what we named you before-before."
The man with the gray hair was sitting at the table, and he looked up over a newspaper at Lilly. "Morning," he said.
She lifted one hand in a shy wave. "But I've always been Lilly," she said to her grandmother.
The man set his paper down. "Your name is not Lilly," he said gruffly. "That is completely inappropriate! He should never have named you after that-"
Lilly shrunk back against her grandmother, who interrupted the man sharply. "Stewart!"
He looked down sternly at Lilly. "Your name is Faith."
She wanted to protest, but she was too scared. She felt the tears build in her eyes, and tried not to let them fall.
Her grandmother scooped her up. "Here's what we're going to do. We'll get you some breakfast, and find some old clothes of Grace's, and then we'll go out and get you clothes and games and whatever else you want. Okay?"
Lilly sniffed and nodded. "Okay."
"Good!" Her grandmother smiled warmly, and some of the fear went away.
***
Lilly had never seen a mall before. It was huge, bright and full of people, all going too fast and shouting a little too loud. Lilly clung to her grandmother's hand, afraid she'd get lost if she let go even for a second.
When they got to one of the smaller shops her grandmother made her let go, and followed her as she tried to find some clothes like the soft pants and shirts she had at home.
When she finally found what she wanted, she held it up.
"Oh, honey, you don't want that! Let's get you something nice, okay? Something you can wear to school or church."
"But, I like these," Lilly said.
"Faith," her grandmother said, pulling the clothes away. "We have a lot of old clothes that you can play in. Let's get some nice dresses for you."
"My name isn't Faith," Lilly said.
Her grandmother's lips thinned in annoyance. "We've talked about this. Faith is the name on your birth certificate. It is your name. Believe me, Lilly is not a good name for you to have in this town."
Lilly clenched her little fists, getting angry. "My papa says I'm Lilly! I don't wanna be anyone else!"
Her grandmother tugged her arm, hard. "Don't you raise your voice, young lady! We will discuss this later!" She pulled Lilly away from the stack of pants toward the dresses, and Lilly stumbled along after her, a little stunned and hurt.
***
Her grandmother had bought her an ice cream cone on the way home, and Lilly ate it in silence. She was wearing one of the new dresses, and the seams rubbed uncomfortably on her shoulders. She'd wanted to wear the comfy clothes her grandmother had finally bought her, but her grandmother had insisted that she dress up. Lilly shifted in the seat, and the ice cream dripped on her new dress.
"Oh, do be careful," her grandmother said, looking over. "Make sure you wipe that up."
Lilly dabbed at it with the fistful of napkins she had in her hand.
"Here we are, honey. We're home," her grandmother said as they rode over a big bump and the car stopped. Lilly pulled herself up to the window excitedly, and was disappointed to see the house she'd stayed in last night.
When her grandmother lifted her out of her seat, Lilly followed her quietly to the house.
"Do you want to play in the yard for a bit, honey? There's a swing in the back that Gracie used to play on."
Lilly smiled and nodded. She'd always found things to do outside at home. She would throw a stick for Mantequillo, or go exploring with Señor Gato while Nana trailed behind and cautioned her in Spanish. Sometimes, Papa would take her out and they'd take long walks on the beach.
"When will Papa be better?" she asked.
Her grandmother turned and knelt in front of her. "It's going to be a long time, honey. You have to be patient. Why don't you play? Here, I'll show you."
Lilly's grandmother walked her to the back of the house and opened a big door with pretty glass in it. "I need you to stay inside the fence, okay? I'll be watching you from the window. If you need anything, just come inside or wave to me, okay?"
Lilly nodded. "Okay."
She walked out into the big yard and looked around. The fence was lined with little trees in perfect squares. It looked funny, like they were big building blocks or something. Lilly had never seen trees that grew in shapes before.
There was a tree near the fence on one side and it had a swing on it like one of the parks her papa used to bring her to. She pulled herself onto the wooden seat using one of the ropes it hung by. When she settled down, her legs dangled down and she waved them back and forth the way her papa had taught her.
A rustling sound startled her and she pulled her legs up, looking around. It took a minute for her to figure out where the noise was coming from, and then she noticed two of the trees moving. "Hello?" she called out uncertainly.
The trees moved again, and a big dog limped forward, so his front half was just exposed through the slight gap in the trees. He had short, sharp little ears and a graying muzzle, and he was a pretty red color, like one of the chestnut horses Lilly's friend at home had owned. His lips drooped down and he looked hurt.
Lilly jumped down from the swing and ran over to him. "Are you okay?" she asked, raising a hand to touch his shoulder. He snuffled in response and she leaned forward, trying to understand. "Your foot looks like it has an ouchie," she said. "Sit down, I'll get some water. One time, when Mantequillo had an ouchie, we had to wash it and give him med’cine on it. He got better," she assured.
She ran into the kitchen to find her grandmother.
"There you are, dear. You looked like you were having fun on the swing. Is there anything I can get you?"
Lilly looked down, licking her lips. She wanted to make the dog feel better, but things didn't seem to work the same way, here, and she wasn't sure if her grandmother would understand. "Can I have a glass of water?" she asked finally.
"Of course, dear," her grandmother said with a smile. She turned away to fill a cup.
"Can I have a dog?" Lilly asked as she took the cup.
Her grandmother looked surprised. "A dog? Did your daddy have a dog for you?"
Lilly nodded. "Mantequillo. He plays fetch with me."
"Well, honey, I don't think a dog would be a good idea here. Dogs can be very messy and sometimes they can hurt children. I don't want you to be near any dogs here, okay?"
Lilly took a little sip of the water as she wondered what to do. The dog really needed help, and it would only take a minute. She wouldn't bring him inside or anything. And she'd stay clean, just like her grandmother wanted.
Lilly looked up. "I hurt my knee on the swing. Do you have med’cine? My Nana used to put med’cine on my ouchies and make them better." She pulled her dress up to show her grandmother the small cut on her knee she’d gotten a few days ago.
"Oh, dear! Of course, honey. Are you all right?"
"It just hurts a little," Lilly said quietly, taking another sip of water.
"Well, you come with me. We'll fix it right up."
Her grandmother sat her down in the bathroom and put thick medicine on her knee. Lilly slipped the small tube into her pocket.
"Is that better?" her grandmother asked, putting a bandage over the cut.
"Thank you," Lilly said politely. She grabbed the cup of water from the sink and followed her grandmother to the back door. She was a little worried when she didn't see the dog right away, but he crawled out from under one of the square trees when her grandmother went back inside.
"I got you med’cine," she said, sitting cross-legged next to him and taking the tube out of her pocket. "Let me see your paws." He looked at her blankly, and she leaned forward. "I want to help. Give me your paw."
It was easier to talk to Mantequillo. She could understand every head tilt, every tail wag. He was her friend. Mantequillo was a very smart dog, but this dog was a stranger and she wasn't sure how much he understood.
She made a rolling motion with her hand and touched his leg. "I'll help," she said again, pulling gently.
Finally, he rolled to the side, giving her his paw.
The thick part was red and one of his toes had a thorn stuck in it. "Oh, no," she said. She touched it tentatively, looking at the dog’s trusting face. "This might hurt," she warned.
She plucked the thorn out of the dog's foot and he whimpered and pulled his paw away. "Lo siento," she said softly, holding out her hand. "Come here, I'll make it better."
He stretched his foot out again, setting it in her lap, and she cleaned it carefully with the water and dried it with the underside of her dress, keeping any dirt on the inside. Her grandmother couldn't be mad at her for a stain no one would see.
Finally, she used ointment on the bottom of his paw everywhere it was red. She gave him a quick kiss when she let his paw go. "There. All better?"
The dog got up carefully, putting weight on the foot. He took a few steps, and Lilly clapped. He pranced around after that, running in little circles around her, and she laughed. "It is better!"
He stopped finally, and licked her face in thanks.
"You're welcome," she said, holding his huge face in her hands. She kissed him on the nose. "I'm Lilly," she said. "You should come visit me. I'm a little lonely sometimes."
The dog tilted his head and then leaned forward, grabbing her dress sleeve and tugging gently.
Lilly giggled. "I can't leave, silly! I have to stay until my papa comes back to get me."
He tugged more fiercely, and Lilly pursed her lips. "No! I can't come with you! I have to stay here-my mama wanted me here."
He growled a little bit and she tapped him on the nose. "I helped you! Be nice!"
The dog's ears flattened against his head and his lips drooped in a pout as he let go of her. His head fell sadly.
"It's okay," Lilly said, rubbing his ear. "I'm not mad at you. I wish I could come play, but I need to stay in the yard." She walked toward the swing to sit and the dog followed her slowly.
"What's your name?" Lilly asked, pulling herself onto the swing.
He turned his head at her again, as if he wondered what she was saying, and she tried Spanish. "¿Como se llamo?" she asked.
His head tilted the other way.
She pointed at herself. "Lilly." Then she pointed at him.
He bowed as if he finally understood, and then stood tall, pointing his ears and looking off with wide eyes. Then he crouched down and slunk along the ground, eyes moving every which way. Finally, he moved to Lilly's side, his back to her, and growled at non-existent enemies.
She clapped again. "Guardian!"
He nodded his big head and licked her hand.
Her grandmother yelled at her from the doorway. "Faith!"
Lilly turned to see her grandmother running out the back door, waving a broom. "Faith, just stay where you are! Don't move, honey!"
Lilly looked at her, not understanding. Then her grandmother swatted Guardian hard on the back end, sending him scurrying off into the bushes and through the fence. "Guardian," Lilly yelled. "Wait!" She turned to her grandmother whose face was all red and blotchy. "Why did you hit him?" Lilly asked, sniffling. "He was a nice dog."
"He is not a nice dog, Faith! He's a monster, and he shouldn't be here! Come inside."
Her grandmother's hand shook around hers as she pulled her into the house. "Stewart! Stewart." They walked to the living room, where the older man was sitting on the couch. "Stewart, that Mars dog nearly attacked Faith! You need to call Sherriff Lamb and take care of this. And we need to have someone repair the fence. There must be a hole in it somewhere."
The man's eyes narrowed, and Lilly shrunk back. "I'll call," he said shortly. "Why don't you start her with the notebook?" he said.
Her grandmother started to pull her away when the man called out to them. "Rose? Did you call the doctor today?"
Her grandmother looked down at her for a moment, then back up. "We have an appointment tomorrow."
He nodded. "Good. The sooner we get her treated, the better."
Lilly was pulled into the kitchen again, and her grandmother sat her in a chair. "Are you okay?" her grandmother asked. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
Lilly crinkled her forehead. "He wanted to play," she said, confused.
"Did he get you anywhere? Did he bite or scratch?"
Lilly shook her head. "No, no. He was nice."
Her grandmother took a deep breath. "If you ever see him again, Lilly, I need you to tell me. And you won't be going outside again until he's taken care of." Her grandmother pulled her into a tight hug, and Lilly struggled to lift her head to breath.
"Oh, honey," her grandmother said, "I was so scared for you." She took a deep breath, her entire chest moving against Lilly's little body, and Lilly was relieved when Rose finally released her.
"Now, honey, before dinner, we were going to have you learn to write your new name. We thought it would be a nice project for you, to get you used to it."
“I can write my name. Papa taught me.”
"Well, we want you to learn your new name, now, honey. It's a little longer, but you're a smart girl. I'm sure you'll pick it up just like that." She snapped her fingers and smiled.
Lilly looked up at her uncertainly. "But I don't want-"
"Honey," her grandmother said sternly. "Don't start this again. We've explained it to you. Your name is Faith."
"I don't want you to call me that," Lilly said stubbornly. "My name is Lilly!" She sat up straight, glaring at her grandmother.
"Hey, guys," Aunt Grace greeted from the doorway. Lilly looked over at her. "What's going on?"
Lilly's grandmother continued to stare at her. "Faith here was just going to learn to write her name."
"Oh, fun." Grace sat down in a chair, setting a bag against the wall. "I can help her if you want, Mom," she said, winking at Lilly.
Lilly looked back at her grandmother, who still looked angry. "Why don't you do that, Gracie. I have to work on dinner."
"Why don't we go upstairs, and you can work at my desk? It's a little quieter up there."
Lilly nodded, looking nervously at her grandmother as they walked by, but she let them leave the room without saying anything.
***
Aunt Grace knelt in front of her when they got up to the room. "Sorry about that. My mom can be kind of intense sometimes. I know she's being weird about your name. Makes you mad, huh?"
"I don't want to be Faith," Lilly said quietly, worried that her aunt would yell at her, too.
Her aunt rubbed her arm gently. "I know. It must be awful, being taken out of your home and everything. Bet you miss your dad, huh?"
Lilly nodded.
"He's okay, I promise. He just can't come see you right now."
"What if he doesn't know I'm me when he comes back?" Lilly whispered. "What if they change my name and I'm not the same?"
"Oh, sweetie, don't worry. Whatever they call you, it won't change you on the inside. You'll still be Lilly where it counts. And your dad will know you no matter what, okay? I promise."
"Why don't they like me?" Lilly asked.
"Who? My folks? Oh, they like you. They just worry about things sometimes that they shouldn't. And, sometimes it's just easier to agree with them. Let them call you Faith, okay? It won't change anything, it'll just get them off your back."
Lilly reached a hand over her shoulder curiously and her aunt laughed.
"Sorry. Figure of speech. They won't bother you so much if you just let them call you Faith." She stood up. "Come here, I'll show you how to write it." She lifted Lilly easily onto the chair at the desk. Lilly couldn't quite see over the edge of it.
Her aunt giggled. "Here, let me grab some books." She set Lilly down and put some big books on the chair. When she lifted Lilly up again, she could rest her elbows on the desk. "There you are."
Aunt Grace showed her the loopy letters of her new name, and she practiced in the thick book for a few minutes, printing the word over and over, carefully.
"Perfect! Just think, you learned a new word today."
Her aunt ruffled her hair, and Lilly smiled a little.
***
The next day was a little better. Lilly answered quietly when her grandmother called her Faith, and her grandmother praised her work in the notebook and let her wear her comfortable clothes.
Then they went for a ride in the car, and Lilly's grandmother took her hand as they walked into a building as big as the mall, down long, long hallways that were bright white. Lilly moved closer to her grandmother when the smell in the hallway got funny.
"Where are we going?" Lilly asked again, quietly.
"We're just getting you a checkup with the doctor."
Lilly slowed. "Doctors help sick people. I'm not sick." She tugged slightly on her grandmother's hand.
"Faith, we need to do this. It won't take long, but you need to see the doctor."
"I'm not sick," Lilly repeated, stopping in the hallway.
Her grandmother picked her up. "It's just a checkup, honey."
Lilly tried to relax as they walked down the hallway, and then her grandmother carried her through a door into a big office, and it still smelled funny and she was scared.
"Please don't make me," she whispered, clinging to her grandmother. "I'm not sick."
"Honey, you're very small for your age. You must know that, right? Don't you want to be like the other kids?"
"But Papa said I was perfect, just like this," Lilly said, burying her face into her grandmother's shoulder.
"Of course he did, sweetie," said her grandmother, rubbing her back. "He didn't want to make you feel bad. But what if we can make you better? That's what the doctor is for. He just wants to make you grow like the other kids."
"I'm scared."
"I'll be right here with you, honey."
Lilly sobbed quietly against her grandmother's shoulder until someone led them to another room, where the doctor was.
Her grandmother talked about hormones and diets and disorders as Lilly hid her head. None of the big words made sense, but they didn't sound good.
"There's a possibility that this may not work," Lilly heard the doctor say. "If her pituitary hormones are normal, the injections won't help. She'd need multiple surgical procedures to lengthen her bones, and even then, her stature would be abnormal."
"Well we have to try something," her grandmother snapped. "Look at her!"
"Let us start the lab-work and I'll give the first injection, but, Mrs. Manning, there's a limit to what science can do."
"We just want her to be a normal girl, doctor."
Lilly cried into her grandmother's shirt. Her papa had liked that she was special. Her papa had said she was perfect.
She screamed for him when they took her blood; she cried desperately when they jabbed another needle high in her arm. There was a mark where the nurse had held onto her, and that hurt, too.
Lilly wondered if her mama could see her anymore, now that she wasn't home and they'd changed her name. Because she wasn't happy, and she didn't feel safe, and surely her mama would do something if she could see, wouldn't she?
***
Lilly was more hurt and lost than she'd been since she'd watched the police car drive away with her papa inside.
Her grandmother offered her ice cream on the way out of the doctor's, but Lilly just shook her head. "I'm tired," she said quietly.
"When we get home, I'll get you an ice pack, and you can go lie down with it. It'll help your arm feel better."
Lilly nodded hesitantly and stared out the window at the sky.
When her grandmother stopped the car and helped her out, Lilly refused to take her hand and walked up the sidewalk on her own.
Her grandmother touched her head, petting her like she would pet Mantequillo or Guardian. Lilly moved her head away and went inside as soon as her grandmother opened the door.
There was an older woman in the living room who reminded Lilly of Nana. When the woman looked up and smiled, Lilly smiled back shyly.
Her grandmother moved past both of them to get to the kitchen, and Lilly curtseyed like her Nana had taught her. "Hola, Señora, mucho gusto," she said.
The woman's smile got wider. "Hola, señorita. Eres Lilly?"
"Si!" Lilly exclaimed. The woman knew her name! "¿Como sabe mi nombre?"
"Yo conocia a tú papa, y-"
"Faith!" Her grandmother's voice was stern as she came out of the kitchen with an ice pack and led Lilly up the stairs, pulling her away from the nice woman in the living room. The woman waved at her with a sad smile as Lilly watched over her shoulder, stumbling up the stairs.
Her grandmother lifted Lilly onto her bed and settled the ice pack against the sorest spot on Lilly's arm, where the needle had stuck. "There you are, dear. Why don't you lie down?"
"Can I talk to the nice lady later?" Lilly asked.
Her grandmother looked at her curiously. "The nice-oh, Mrs. Navarro? You don't need to talk to her, honey. She comes and cleans the house sometimes, that's all. And, Faith? Don't speak Spanish. You don't need it, and people will make fun of you. Here, you'll be expected to use English, so it's best that you get used to that, okay?"
Lilly frowned. She missed talking to people at the market, missed talking to the kids at school. "I'm sleepy, now," Lilly finally said, wanting her grandmother to leave her alone.
"All right, dear." Her grandmother kissed her forehead gently. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."
Lilly nodded and leaned into her pillows, trying not to hurt her arm again. The tears came fast, rolling hot down her cheeks as she cried. She didn't want to be here! She wanted to go home and be with Papa and Nana, and run on the beach, and be called by her own name. Everything hurt and she didn't understand why she couldn't talk to the nice Señora downstairs, who had seemed so nice, like home.
"Hey, what's going on?" her aunt asked softly from the doorway.
Lilly rolled over, wiping her nose. "I want to go home, Aunt Grace! I don't want to be here anymore!"
Her aunt looked at the ice pack against her arm and came into the room. "What happened?" she asked again.
"They stuck me with needles and I can't talk to the lady downstairs and I don't want to be Faith, and I want my papa to come back and take me home!" Lilly was sobbing again, and she leaned against her aunt when Grace put an arm around her.
Lilly wiped her nose again and looked up at the pictures on the walls. Her voice was small and ragged. "My papa told me that Mama watches me to make sure I'm happy and safe. But I'm not, Aunt Grace, I'm not happy, and I don't think she's here."
Her aunt held her close. "Oh, honey, believe me, if she could, your mama would help you." Her voice was funny and it sounded like she had the hiccups. When Lilly looked up, she saw a tear on her aunt's face.
"Are you okay?" she asked, sitting up.
Her aunt smiled, wiping away the tear with her hand. "Yeah, I'm okay. I've got to go downstairs for a few. You're gonna be fine. I'm gonna make sure." She helped Lilly lie back down before she left.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. Lilly's grandmother checked on her, and the older man, her grandfather, told her to be brave, and her aunt came back and fed her ice cream.
Lilly talked to the pictures of her mama when she was alone, but it was only because she was lonely. She knew her mama couldn't hear her anymore.
***
The next day, Lilly woke up and heard loud voices. She slipped out of bed carefully, cradling her arm, and crept to the top of the stairs.
"You can't just put her in there! You'll scare her!"
"Gracie, she's not ready for church. She's led a Godless existence with that Kane boy, and she needs time. She's been pouting at your mother and ignoring our requests…she needs a time out. She needs to think about her life and how it needs to change."
"Dad, you can't do this to her! How do you think-"
"Grace! This is not up for discussion. She'll be fine. She just needs to learn her place."
"Fine!" Her aunt sounded very angry, and Lilly ran to her room when she heard footsteps coming closer. "Just let me talk to her."
Lilly climbed into her bed and pulled the covers over herself, frightened.
"Hey, you awake?" her aunt asked. Lilly felt the bed move when her aunt sat down.
"Yeah?" she said, pushing the covers back a little.
"Look, we're going to go away for a little while, and…" She looked down, and Lilly noticed her eyes looked funny. Shiny and scrunched up.
Her aunt looked up again. "When my dad comes up here, he's gonna have you go in a little room, okay? And it's gonna be dark, and it might be a little scary." She reached over and took Lilly's hand gently, and Lilly held on tight. "I don't want you to worry, though, all right? When he has you go in there, I need you to count as high as you can. How high can you count?"
Lilly looked up shyly. "20."
Her aunt smiled. "Great. That's great. I need you to count to twenty three times, okay? I'm going to unlatch the door before we go, and you can come out after you count. When you hear us come back, I need you to go back in the room and shut the door."
"Why?"
Her aunt sighed. "It's just better that way, sweetie. Don't worry, all right? We'll get you out of this, somehow. Just…please. Do this for now."
Lilly gulped and nodded. "I…I'll try," she said quietly.
"Good girl."
***
She tried to be quiet when the man came upstairs and put her in the little room, but it was dark, and it was scary, and she kept losing count. "Aunt Grace?" she finally called out. "Aunt Grace, please let me out! Please, I don't want to be in here anymore! It's so dark…"
Lilly didn't know what she'd counted to, she was too scared to remember her numbers, and she just wanted to get away from the musty smells and the darkness. She pulled at the little door and it finally slid aside, and she was free.
Nowhere in the house felt safe. The bed was too close to the little room, so Lilly crept down the stairs.
Her grandmother had yelled at her in the kitchen, and the man was usually in the living room. She didn't like that room.
Finally, Lilly headed to the back door, standing on tip-toe to twist the knob and let herself out. She tried to be quiet as she crept out to sit under the square trees.
Lilly shivered. It had been so dark in there, and so small, and it had smelled like an old book her papa had on one of his shelves. She didn't ever want to go in there again. She wanted to be Lilly. She wanted her mama to know where she was, and she wanted her papa to take her home.
She was curled up under the tree, crying, when she felt a nudge at her shoulder.
Lilly looked up. "Guardian!" she said, smiling a little.
He snuffled and nudged her arm playfully, jumping back when she yelled in pain.
"It's okay," she reassured him finally. "I just…they poked me with a needle and it hurts, still."
He moved a little closer, sniffing and then nuzzling, and Lilly threw her arms around his thick neck. "Oh, Guardian, you're my best friend," she told him.
He was smiling when she backed away and she smiled back. "I wish you could stay here with me forever and ever. But my grandmother doesn't like dogs. She's going to be mad if she finds out you're here."
Guardian growled a little bit, looking at the back door.
"I'm sorry she hit you," Lilly whispered. "She thought you were mean. She doesn't understand." Lilly sniffled and wiped her nose. "I miss my papa. He'd understand. He'd let me keep you."
Guardian tilted his head at her and then circled around, nudging her forward with his nose, pushing her further into the trees, toward the fence.
Lilly hesitated. "I'm supposed to stay here," she said softly.
Guardian growled a little bit and then licked her cheek. He nudged her again.
Lilly had wanted to stay because they'd said her mama wanted her there. But she knew her mama wasn't watching her anymore. If her mama had wanted her to stay, wouldn't she be here? Wouldn't she be making sure Lilly was safe and happy?
Even Aunt Grace had said she'd get her out. Maybe this was what she was supposed to do. Maybe this was what Aunt Grace had meant.
"Okay," Lilly finally said, moving forward under the trees, trying to keep her dress clean. "I'll come with you."
The trip was long, and hard on her bare feet. When Lilly couldn't walk anymore, Guardian bent down and let her climb on his back. She held tight to his neck as he walked down the wide streets, past huge houses and more funny-shaped bushes.
Finally, he walked up the steps to a small, brown house with a porch and a little patterned rug in front of the door that looked like the one in front of her door at home.
"This is your house?" Lilly asked as she slid down off Guardian's back.
He nodded, and then barked loudly at the door. Lilly covered her ears and looked at him crossly.
Before she could say anything, the door opened, and a pale woman with yellow hair came out looking angry. "Backup, for crying out loud-" and then the woman saw Lilly and stopped yelling.
Lilly ducked her head and moved closer to Guardian. Finally she waved shyly.
The woman bent down. "Hi, sweetie. Are you lost?"
Lilly looked up at the soft tone in the woman's voice and ran her hand nervously over Guardian's shoulder. "Guardian told me to come here."
The woman tilted her head, a lot like Guardian did. "Who-Lilly?"
The woman was suddenly looking at her with wide eyes, and Lilly looked away, staring at the ground.
"Lilly, is that you?" The woman stood up and Lilly leaned against Guardian again, holding the skin on his shoulder possessively. "Why don't you come inside, sweetie," the woman said, looking around like she was afraid someone was coming.
Lilly wasn't sure, but when Guardian walked into the house, Lilly followed. She trusted him. They'd helped each other. He was her friend.
"Can I get you something to drink, or eat?" the woman asked.
Lilly found that she was a little thirsty. "Water, please," she said quietly.
"Now," the woman said quietly, filling a cup for her, "Who did you say told you to come here?"
Lilly looked over at Guardian, who gave her a quick encouraging nudge. "Guardian. Your dog?"
The woman smiled and her eyes squinted up as she handed Lilly the cup. "You named him Guardian?"
Lilly shrugged, looking down. "No, he said that was his name," she mumbled, hoping the woman wouldn't make her go away, hoping that Guardian had brought her to the right place.
"Really? Well, we call him Backup, but Guardian sounds a bit more noble, doesn't it?"
Lilly gave her a little smile.
A low voice came from the doorway. "Hey V, I heard Backup. Did he finally get-oh. Hello there." Lilly turned, gripping Guardian's shoulder hard as she looked up at the man in the doorway. He had dark eyes and skin and no hair on his head, kind of like the man at the market that her papa bought vegetables from sometimes. When he bent down in front of her, he gave her a nice smile.
She lifted a hand to wave at him. "Hola," she said softly, sparing a quick glance at the yellow haired woman to see if she'd be scolded.
The man seemed surprised, and then he laughed a little. "Hola, señorita. ¿Como te llamas?"
Lilly smiled gently, loosening her grip on Guardian's shoulder. "Me llamo Lilly."
The smile faded away as the man looked up behind her at the yellow haired girl, and Lilly corrected herself quickly. "I mean, Faith!"
"No," the woman said from behind her. Lilly felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned fearfully. The woman was kneeling behind her, smiling. "Your name is Lilly." The woman hugged her gently, and Lilly relaxed a little bit when she didn't get yelled at, though she still kept a hand on Guardian's shoulder.
"I'm Veronica," the woman said, releasing Lilly. "That's Eli. We knew your dad when you were just a baby."
Lilly looked up at the woman. Veronica. "Do you know where he is? I want to go home."
Veronica hugged her again. "Let me see what I can do, okay?"
Lilly stared at her. "Really? I can go home?" Was it really that easy?
"I don't know about that, honey, but we'll see if we can't get you in to see your dad." Veronica looked up at the man in the doorway. Eli. "Can you take her for a few? I need to call Cliff." She stood up and walked away, and Lilly moved to lean against Guardian again.
"Is Papa better now?" Lilly asked Eli quietly.
"Better?"
"They said he was sick. That he had to get better before I could see him."
Eli shook his head and laughed a little. "Well, there's a difference of opinion, there, I guess. Your papa is fine. He's just…he's not able to come and see you right now. Veronica's gonna try to make it so you can visit him, okay?"
Lilly smiled. "Really? I can see him?"
"We're gonna try, chiquita."
She smiled and looked down. "My papa calls me that."
He smiled back. "Yeah? Your papa's a good guy." He put out his hand, and after a moment Lilly took it. "Why don't you tell me about what happened to bring you out here. We can sit down in the other room."
When Lilly shrunk away he let go, and Guardian nuzzled her comfortingly. "Or we can talk right here, about your home. Whatever you want," Eli said quietly.
It seemed safer, somehow, to tell him in Spanish, because they wouldn't understand her if they heard. She felt a little bad for leaving her grandmother, and she missed her Aunt Grace. But Veronica and Eli seemed nice, and Guardian was her friend, and she wanted to see her papa.
Eli's face got funny when she told him about the dark closet, and he took her hand. "We're gonna make sure that doesn't happen again. Can you tell someone else what you just told me?"
Lilly shrugged. "I guess so." She looked up. "Is my grandmother going to be in trouble? I don't want them to be mad at me."
He squeezed her hand. "I know, chiquita. We just want to make sure you don't have to stay with them if you don't want to. That's all."
"I don't want to go back," she said fearfully.
"Shhh…you don't have to. Veronica will make sure."
Lilly nodded and smiled, thinking about her papa.
She wasn't as worried or scared, and she was very sleepy. When Guardian crawled up on the couch next to her, she leaned on him and fell asleep.
***
"Lilly?"
"Papa?" Lilly called out sleepily.
"It's Eli, Lilly. There's someone here to talk to you, okay? Her name is Elena, and she's a social worker. She's going to help us. You just need to tell her what you told me."
She opened her eyes slowly, and when she felt Guardian move under her, she remembered her trip and her new friends. "Eli," she said quietly.
"Yeah, chiquita?"
"I won't have to go back?"
"Just tell her what you told me. I'll be right here."
Lilly told the story again to the tall woman in a fancy suit who had a pad of paper in front of her that she kept drawing on. Her face got stormy as Lilly told her the story, and Lilly got worried and stopped.
"You can tell her," Eli reassured.
"She looks mad," Lilly whispered.
Eli smiled and ruffled her hair. "She's not mad at you."
When she looked back at Elena, the woman smiled, and Lilly told her the rest in a quiet voice.
The woman asked a lot of questions after that, mostly about the man who'd put her in the closet, and Lilly tried to answer as much as she could.
"Eli, I'm tired," she finally murmured, and he hugged her gently.
"We're almost done."
The woman with the questions nodded. "We should be all set." She stood up. "I need to consult with Mr. Kane's lawyers, and speak to the Mannings. I'll do what I can."
"Thank you," Eli said, and he let go of Lilly's hand to walk the woman to the door.
***
Lilly was just getting used to the new house and the new people when Veronica took her away to the hospital again. Lilly pulled fearfully at the door of the car. "Please, I don't want to go! Please don't make me, don't make me!"
She got frantic when Veronica carried her down the hall with the scary smells, and Veronica finally set her down. "Lilly. Lilly!"
"I'm not sick," Lilly said fearfully.
"I know. But I'm worried about your arm, honey, and we need to be sure that it's okay."
"It's getting better. It feels better already!" She tried to show Veronica by moving it, but it hurt too much.
Veronica smiled. "See? Don't you want it to feel better?"
"I'm scared. They made it hurt," Lilly admitted quietly.
"I'm going to be right there with you."
"I don't want to," Lilly whispered.
Veronica hugged her. "I know. I'm sorry."
Lilly cried when they went into the room with doctor, and the doctor used big words and she was sure they were going to hold her down again and poke her with needles.
Lilly struggled to get down as the doctor talked. "…no lasting damage from the injection. Alternate heat and cold, use massage it if she's comfortable with that." Lilly heard the doctor shift toward her and she squirmed harder to get away. Veronica held her tightly.
The doctor continued. "Mr. Kane had her records forwarded to us, and there's no sign of a disorder. She's small. If they'd waited for the blood-work, they would have known that the injections wouldn't help. Mr. Kane was very cautious with her medical care. He did everything he could."
"Thank you," Veronica said, and she stood with Lilly still squirming in her arms.
The doctor moved around to look Lilly in the eye, and she peeked at him over Veronica's shoulder. "You're a perfectly healthy girl, Lilly," the doctor said. "And you get a sticker for being so good today." He held out his hand with a bright red sticker on it, and Lilly took it slowly.
"Thank you," she whispered. She clung to Veronica as they left, winding her fingers together around Veronica's neck.
Her papa had always said that, too, that she was perfect just the way she was.
***
It was two days later that Lilly finally saw her papa again. Eli and Veronica took her to a big place with lots of policemen and loud noises, and when she got scared, Eli carried her.
Finally, they got to a little room with seats and funny cabinets and big windows across the middle of the room.
She saw him after a minute, on the other side of one of the windows, and she yelled excitedly. "Papa!" She tried to jump out of Eli's arms, but he held her tight and carried her over to the window.
Eli held her up to the glass and she pushed at it, trying to get to him. "Papa! I missed you!"
He looked like he was talking, and he looked sad with his face all scrunched up. He reached out and put his big hand on the glass against her tiny one.
"Remember, you'll need to use this to talk to him," Eli said gently, handing her the phone from the wall of the cabinet. Lilly hadn't talked on the phone before, and Eli helped her hold it as she yelled into it. "Papa! Hello?"
Eli laughed. "You don't have to yell, he'll hear you."
When she looked up again, her papa had a phone in his hand, too, and his voice sounded funny, and it was coming from next to her ear, even though she could see him talking across from her.
"Lillita! How are you?"
"I’m okay," she said, her lips trembling as she started to cry. "I want to go home, papa."
His fingers moved against the glass. "I know sweetie, but you need to stay with Eli and Veronica for a little while. Are they being good to you?"
Lilly swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, papa. They were going to take me to the beach today."
"Will you pick out a shell for me?"
She smiled, sniffing back her tears. "I'll find the perfect one," she promised.
"That's my girl," he said with a smile.
"Papa?"
"What, sweetie?"
"That shirt looks funny on you."
He laughed. "It does, doesn't it?"
"I wish you could come out and see me. I miss you."
"I miss you, too, sweetie. But you can come and see me every week, okay? I'm counting on you."
"I'll come see you," she promised.
They talked for a while longer, and then he asked to talk to Veronica, and Eli bounced Lilly on his knee while she made funny faces at her papa and made him laugh.
She wanted to be able to sit in his lap and feel him hug her, but he had told her everything was going to be all right, and she had to believe him. Papa was always right.
***
When they got back from the beach, Lilly ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Veronica had made, and sat on the couch with Guardian.
When the door bell rang, Veronica got up, and came back with Aunt Grace.
"Aunt Grace!" Lilly called out. She started to slide off the couch and then changed her mind. What if her aunt was here to take her back? What if she was angry?
"Hey, Lilly!" her aunt called, and Lilly smiled. She sounded happy. "I brought you something," her aunt said, and Lilly slid off the couch and ran over, her last doubts allayed by thoughts of a present.
"What? What did you get me?" Lilly asked.
Her aunt held out a big book, and Lilly struggled to carry it to the low table in front of the couch. She opened it carefully, and found the pictures of her mama pressed in the pages.
Lilly looked up in amazement. "It's Mama!"
"Yeah. I thought you'd want those, so you can say goodnight properly."
Lilly turned back and flipped the pages carefully. Her mama looked like an angel.
She heard her aunt talking quietly with Veronica, something about hearings and testimony. Lilly didn't care. She had pictures of her mama, in a book that she could take with her wherever she went.
She had just gotten to the last page and was getting up when she saw Veronica hug her aunt.
"Grace," Veronica said. "Thank you so much. It means a lot."
Grace smiled, but Lilly thought she looked a little sad. "It's what Meg would have wanted." She turned to Lilly and waved at her. "I'll see you soon, okay?"
Lilly ran over and hugged her leg. "Okay, Aunt Grace. Thank you for the pictures."
"You got it, sweetie. Love you." Her aunt bent down and kissed her quickly on the forehead. "She's still watching over you," her aunt said quietly.
"I know," Lilly said, reaching out. Guardian slid under her outstretched hand, and Veronica moved a little closer to her as her aunt stood up.
Lilly still missed her papa, but she felt happy and safe again just like her mama wanted, and Papa had promised that everything would be okay.
THE END
fairy tale: Thumbelina
twist: a character has to make him-/ herself understood in a foreign language