A Few Things You Should Never Say To A Girl You've Just Met
Here are just a few of the awkward statements that guys have made to me this summer.
1. "I LOOOOOVEEE black girls!!"
Hmmm... now I know that as a white male this may seem like the cool thing to say and a quick way to prove that you're not racist, but it's honestly just the quickest way for me to know that you are in fact uncool and probably harboring some sketchy fantasy about Black women that you saw in a porno once! If I one more white guy says this to me, I may have to deck him!
2. Guy: Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
Girl: Ummmm.. sure.
Guy: Do I suck?
Girl: ...Well, I don't know you, so I don't know.
Guy: Well, would you like to?
Girl: ...Would I like to WHAT??
Guy: Get to know me...?
Girl: Ummm....noooooo!!
Seriously guys, pick up lines like this never work! Not unless you look like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, and even then, I might think twice about talking to you.
And speaking of guys that look like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers... here are a few GEMS from this guys I met last night named David:
3. "I am gonna eat up your vulva!"
and...
4. "That vagina is mine!"
Wow! Keep in mind that all of this was said at a bar within 5 minutes of us meeting each other. I mean, kudos to him for not only letting his douche-baggery show right off the bat, but for actually knowing and using the scientific terms for the female genitalia! If this guy hadn't have looked like JRM, I would have jumped off the barstool right then and ran to the other side of the bar.
5. "I am gonna spread you like peanut butter and make you melt like butter."
Ok, so Melinda actually heard this one, not me, but still, WTF?! I believe this guy also made the comment that she shouldn't worry about the rest of her friends cuz he'll make sure they get off too....
Guys, come on! I know you're better than this!
1. "I LOOOOOVEEE black girls!!"
Hmmm... now I know that as a white male this may seem like the cool thing to say and a quick way to prove that you're not racist, but it's honestly just the quickest way for me to know that you are in fact uncool and probably harboring some sketchy fantasy about Black women that you saw in a porno once! If I one more white guy says this to me, I may have to deck him!
2. Guy: Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
Girl: Ummmm.. sure.
Guy: Do I suck?
Girl: ...Well, I don't know you, so I don't know.
Guy: Well, would you like to?
Girl: ...Would I like to WHAT??
Guy: Get to know me...?
Girl: Ummm....noooooo!!
Seriously guys, pick up lines like this never work! Not unless you look like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, and even then, I might think twice about talking to you.
And speaking of guys that look like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers... here are a few GEMS from this guys I met last night named David:
3. "I am gonna eat up your vulva!"
and...
4. "That vagina is mine!"
Wow! Keep in mind that all of this was said at a bar within 5 minutes of us meeting each other. I mean, kudos to him for not only letting his douche-baggery show right off the bat, but for actually knowing and using the scientific terms for the female genitalia! If this guy hadn't have looked like JRM, I would have jumped off the barstool right then and ran to the other side of the bar.
5. "I am gonna spread you like peanut butter and make you melt like butter."
Ok, so Melinda actually heard this one, not me, but still, WTF?! I believe this guy also made the comment that she shouldn't worry about the rest of her friends cuz he'll make sure they get off too....
Guys, come on! I know you're better than this!